Let's Play Dark Souls
by Yurosoku
Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter One

The journey begins

Riku: 'Okay, okay…so you two ready for this?'.

Riku was currently on his console in his bed room, Kairi and Sora were communicating via Discord (Dubbed Destiny Island Trio), all of them at the create a character screen.

Kairi: 'Eww…the faces look so…constipated'.

Sora: Yeah, these models did not age very well! I thought the remaster was meant to fix that?'.

Kairi: 'Oh lord I just saw the female faces! NOT much improvement!'.

Riku: Stop ridiculing the ugly Kai and make your character, dibs on the Wanderer!'.

Sora: 'Knight for me! SWORDS!'.

Kairi: Uhh…hmm…err…oh wow there's a lot to choose from…hmmm…'.

Unlike Sora and Riku, who both have more games underneath their belts, namely JPRG and RPGs, Kairi is as into gaming as they are. Granted she wasn't completely ignorant nor was she was new to this as some of their friends, but the last game she had ever played to the end, and her hardest, was Super Mario World, back on the SNES.

But she found time to play Pokémon…

So, when both boys were excited for this, she decided to hop on the band wagon of hype and purchased this game for herself. Her only worry was, she heard this game was HARD. Hard games were not her forte, especially again, the hardest game she ever played was back on the SNES.

Sora: 'Kay! Ready to begin!'.

Riku: 'Kairi? You?'.

Kairi: '…Can we wear helmets?'.

Riku: 'Yeah…?'.

Kairi: 'Good to go…'.

Intro

Sora: 'So basically things are bad…and we need to make them…not bad?'.

Kairi: 'That is a grossly simplification of the plot but yeah…'.

Undead Asylum

Riku: 'Ok, we're in an asylum…'.

Kairi: 'Yup…q-quick question, is this a horror game too?'.

Sora: 'I guess…?'.

Kairi: 'Oh. Great…well least- OH MY GOD!'.

Riku winced at that shriek of terror while Sora just giggled at her reaction.

Riku: 'What what!?'.

Kairi: 'My character looks like a deformed resin that was left in the sun for a decade!'.

Sora: 'Wow crap! She's not wrong!'.

Riku laughed at their critiques, but then jumped slightly when a body suddenly fell in front of him, letting a sharp "Jesus!" from him.

Kairi: 'And now there's a body in my cell!'.

Sora: 'Thank you, shiny knight person!'.

They begin to move and play, with them all exiting their cells.

Sora: '…Why didn't he just drop the key into our cell without the body?'.

Kairi: 'Maybe he thought we were hungry?'.

The trio of players navigated through the haunted hallways, though Kairi was still adapting to the controller and more sluggish movement of her character. Eventually they climb the stairs and ladder and together they each found their own bonfires.

Sora: 'BONEFIRE!'.

Kairi: 'This will be the only time we ever trust you with fire'.

Sora: 'That burning hammock was not my fault!'.

Riku: ' "Burning Hammock"? What the hell did you do?'.

Kairi: 'Let's just say I've never used a hammock before…and I never will'.

They opened the massive doors and proceeded into an open area…and then are greeted by a giant demon with an equally sized mace.

Kairi: 'OH SWEET POTATOES!'.

Sora: 'FAT DEMON BAD GUY!'.

Riku started to roll and evade the demon while he listened in to Kairi and Sora's screams of terror, while button mashing the dodge roll. He swung at the beast with his broken sword and did minimal damage.

However, he rolled to early and was then crushed by the beast.

Riku: 'Oh god he hurts so hard!'.

And he was then greeted by most likely a common occurrence of this play through.

**You Died**

Riku: 'Damn it! I'm dead!'.

Sora: I'M STILL ALIVE!',

Riku then heard though his headphones a crashing sound from Sora's end.

Sora: 'Never mind…'.

Kairi: 'Oh god he hits so hard!'.

Riku and Sora respawned back at their bonfires, while Kairi was still profusely fighting the demon, yells and censored swearing was all Riku could hear from her end. This time, Riku and Sora spotted an exit from the demon and made a dash for it.

They managed to enter it before the demon could kill them again. While Kairi was fending off the monster, the two explored more the asylum. In time, they managed to find their class respective weaponry, until finally they met with the knight who gave them their freedom.

One exposition and five healing potions later, they found their way up to the platform above the demon.

Riku: 'Ah ha! How the tables have turned, ya fatass!'.

Riku's cockiness proved to be his undoing, as the demon leapt up and slammed its mace on him, destroying the platform…and killing him…again.

Riku: 'MOTHER FU-

Sora: YOLO!'.

Sora jumped from the pedestal and plunged his weapon right into the demon's skull, taking half its hit points. Sora then proceeded to fight the demon, taking his time and dodging the attacks, striking when he felt the opening right and slew the demon.

Sora: 'VICTORY!'.

Kairi: 'Wait you kill it? How!?'.

Sora: 'Hitting it really REALLY hard!'.

Riku: 'And probably NOT taunting it…'.

Kairi: 'Aww no fair! I'm still fighting- OH MY GOD! I DID IT!'.

Riku: OH for god sake! Kairi killed it…wait…d-did you even die yet?'.

Kairi: 'No…?'.

Sora: 'D-Did, did you fight the demon with the broken sword?'.

Kairi: 'It was all I had! What'd you expect me to fight it with, my fists!?'.

Next thing Kairi could hear, was Sora's roaring laughter and Riku's yells of frustration, all the while she scratched her cheek in confusion, wondering.

Sora: 'Kairi, do you see a small doorway opened?'.

Kairi: 'OOH yes, I see…wait, was I supposed to go through that first before fighting the big monster?'.

Sora: 'Pretty much!'.

Kairi blushed profusely, but smirked. 'So I'm technically the best among us~'.

Riku: 'Shut up…'.

After Riku's THIRD attempt to kill the demon, the trio arrived at the summit of the cliff and were spirited away by the bird, all the way to their hub.

The Firelink Shrine.

Sora: 'So…how do we join each other?'.

Kairi: 'Umm…according to the guide, we need a "White Sign Soapstone" from an NPC'.

Riku: 'And who's that?'.

Kairi: 'Solaire…? Buuuuut he's kinda far…'.

Sora: 'Pfft, how far can he be? We'll just make our way there!'.

Undead Burg

Kairi: 'NO NO NO! DARN IT!'.

Kairi's first death, and not the last one to occur, as Sora and Riku managed to reach the bridge, before Riku was picked off by an arrow. 'OH COME ON! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO DODGE ON A FRICKING NARROW BRIDGE LIKE THAT!?'.

Sora: 'Keep your shield up friends!'.

Kairi: 'I DON'T HAVE A SHIELD! I STIL HAVE THAT BROKEN WEAPON!'.

Sora: 'Did you not go through the Asylum?'.

Kairi: 'No…against my common sense…'.

As the mature ones respawn back to the shrine, Sora found another bonfire (much to Riku's rage that he neglected to look around). The spiky haired boy explored more of the undead town, fighting off monsters and looting them, until he went down the stairway…and encountered a black knight.

Sora: 'OOOOH he looks tough!'.

Sora managed to roll and evade a swing of the black blade and backstabbed the knight, doing small damage.

Sora: '…oops'.

And then next thing the spiky boy knew, he was seeing that oh so beautiful reminder of his current state being.

Later…

Riku eventually climbs up the tower to a fog wall. From what he remembers from Demon Souls (classic game), this meant a boss battle. He took a deep breath and ventured through it with great, GREAT, reluctance.

He found himself on the bridge, no enemies in sight but he did finally decide to take in the view of the game. Despite this being nearly ten years old, the game's visuals truly looked breath taking back then, and remastered only highlighted their majesty.

Riku: 'Hey, ya know? This game still looks pretty good'.

Kairi: 'Yeah, they really nailed the western style design'.

Riku: 'How far are you two?'.

Sora: 'Hey Riku did you go down the tower at all?'.

Riku: 'No? Why?',

Kairi: 'What did you find, Sora?'.

Sora: 'Uhh nothing….wait…there's this guy, he…HE'S COMING FOR ME WITH A HUGE HAMMER! CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!'.

The two could hear the Sora's yells of fear mixed with sounds of crashing and smashing, which implied clearly he was not in a good situation right now…

Riku: '…So Kairi, you?'.

Kairi: 'I found a… merchant? He's letting me buy stuff but, nothing's catching my eye…'.

Sora: 'THIS MAN HURTS!'.

Kairi: 'UGH! Now he's telling me to fall off a cliff! That's it!'.

Kairi gives him a kick, but unfortunately the undead don't take too kindly to being kicked by the protagonist and he starts to fight her. Kairi squeals in terror and fought back, killing him. His last words were asking his imaginary lover why she left him to die, and left the poor girl standing there in horror of her actions.

Kairi: 'OH MY GOD! I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T WANT TO MURDER HIM!'.

Riku: 'Kairi, I'm shocked you murdered a poor merchant!'.

Kairi: 'I FEEL SO- OOOOOOOOHHHHH! A katana!'.

Riku: 'WAIT WHAT!?'.

Sora: 'You got a katana? Nice!'.

Kairi: '…worth the guilt!'.

Riku: 'She's lying to us Sora, she's played this! NO one is this lucky with that fricking broken sword!'.

Sora: '…Maybe she's just better?'.

Riku grunted in annoyance and proceeded down the bridge, but before him fell a giant Taurus demon, roaring at him. He found the boss.

Riku rolled under the beast as it jumped towards him, slamming on the ground. Riku began to hack away at it's legs with his twin scimitars, cutting and chopping the ferocious beast. He rolled, jumped back and swerved around the massive monster.

But just when he was about to finish off the monster, as it had a small portion of health left, he was struck by an arrow. And died…

Riku: 'GOD! Freaking archers!'.

**You Died**

Attempt 2.

This time Riku climbed the ladder, and viciously murdered the archers, and just for good measure and taking FULL advantage of the game's body ragdolls, he managed to push them off the tower and sent them careening down into the abyss that is death.

Riku: 'Good riddance… Okay! Come at me Taurus!'.

Kairi: 'Hey guys? I found a fog wall? What's that mean?',

Sora: 'STILL FIGHTING ROCK MAN!'.

Riku: 'It means there's a boss up ahead…'.

Kairi: *Takes a breath* 'Okay, okay…I got this…'.

However, unlike Riku, who ran straight for the boss, Kairi spotted the ladder first and began to climb it, took out the archers and then looked at the ledge of the tower, remembering how Sora managed to do a large amount of damage to the first boss and pondered if the same rules apply.

She ventured closer to the next tower and triggered the beast, who roared at her. Kairi instantly ran back, quietly muttering "crap crap crap", climbed the tower was fast as her character could. The demon was just below her, and she leapt, plunging her sword right into the demon's head, almost taking its health entirely.

Once she jumped off the demon, she did one heavy charged attack and killed it. She gained plenty of souls and a sense of achievement.

Kairi: 'I DID IT! I beat the boss!'.

Riku: 'WHAT!? HOW DID YOU KILL IT SO QUICKLY!?'.

Kairi: 'I climbed the tower, jumped off it and stabbed it in the face!'.

Sora: 'OOOH clever!'.

Riku: '…pansy. I fought it head on like a pro! No need for cheap executions!'.

Kairi: Mmm hmm, and that's NOT an excuse because you didn't know you could use that?'.

Riku: '…fuck off'.

The two proceeded on, while Sora was likely still fighting rock man, and together they finally met Solaire (THE BEST CHARACTER), and after some banter, he gave them each a soap stone. Which meant they can FINALLY start the multiplayer.

Riku: 'Okay…so…we just wait for Sora…'.

Kairi: 'Okay, I'm gonna play Pokémon while we wait'.

One hour and twenty minutes later…

Sora finally arrived and they all agreed to work in Kairi's world, so the boys dropped their signs and Kairi summoned them. Riku appeared first and then Sora. Except where Riku was wearing the wanderer armour, Sora was not only in his heavy knight armour, but was also carrying a heavy halberd and a large shield.

Riku: 'What the? How are you wearing all that?'.

Kairi: 'And moving so much?',

Sora: 'Oh remember that rock guy? Yeah, I beat him and got his ring! It makes my weight even lower to wear heavier stuff!'.

Riku and Kairi gave the boy a look, then one to each other, and they knew what had to be done…

Two murders later…

Better armoured and armed, the trio stood at the edge of the bridge, and they see the horde.

Riku: 'You two ready?'.

Kairi: 'Yes! With the three of us, nothing can stand in our way!'.

Sora: 'CHARGE!'.

They ran down the bridge…and were then engulfed in flames, each screaming in shock.

A dragon had swooped over the bridge, breathing a torrent of fire, killing the trio and the horde in one breath.

Reactions were, understandable.

Riku raged profusely, Kairi groaned in frustration, and Sora just let out a breath of regret.

Kairi: 'I wanna go back to Pokémon…'.

This was gonna be a LONG playthrough….

A/N: So…yeah.

Thought of this idea for awhile, and while I am working on other stories, this was just for fun. So let me know what you all thought of this and I do intend to finish it.

Thanks for reading, stay awesome but more importantly stay safe!


	2. Chapter 2

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter Two

Gargoyles, Bells, and Invaders, OH MY!

Kairi: 'WHY!? WHY DRAGONS!?'.

Sora: 'And why didn't anyone warn us!?'.

Riku: 'Uh, guys?'.

The silver haired youth pointed at a message left by other players, warning everyone that there be dragon ahead of them. Sora and Kairi made no comment, instead they just glared at the screens. So now came the issue for the party of noobs, how to cross the bridge without being incinerated…again.

Riku hummed and pondered, before Kairi pipped up.

Kairi: 'I got an idea!'.

Kairi equips her bow, putting her sword on her back and gesturing the two boys.

Kairi: 'If we run to those gaps, I can snipe the dragon!'.

Sora: 'Kairi, do you have any idea how much health that thing has?'.

Kairi: '2208! Which means it'll take EVERY arrow I got but imagine the souls we can get from it?'.

Sora and Riku looked at each, before both eyes gleamed with excitement.

Riku: 'Alrighty! Let's do it!'.

The trio rushed down the bridge, Kairi on the right while Sora and Riku on the left. The dragon stood on its hind legs and breathed down a wave of fire upon the bridge, consuming all on it. The trio quickly rolled into cover just as the flames breezed past them.

Once safe, Kairi began to adjust herself so she could hit the lizard beast without it hitting her and took aim. Kairi fired one arrow, which landed dead on the dragon's neck, dealing a total of forty-two damage.

Kairi: 'AHA! Suck it lizard breath!'.

Sora: 'GO KAIRI! GET THE SOULS!'.

Kairi fired another arrow, hitting it again, but this time instead of firing more flames, the dragon spread its wings and soared into the skies.

…and promptly landed right between the trio.

They slowly turned their characters to the dragon, jaws dropped in horror and eyes wide as dinner plates. The dragon let out a roar, and they all, in turn, screamed in terror.

Riku: 'FUCK EVERYTHING AND RUN!'.

Forgetting the souls, the three ran for the keep as the dragon roared and swung its claws around with its tail. They ran across the bridge and just before the dragon spewed more flames upon their running hides, they all managed to enter it and find cover.

As the flames licked all around them, the dragon suddenly began to flew away, for real this time.

Riku: 'Holy fuck…'.

Sora: 'I DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE!'.

Kairi: 'Dragons are NOT nice!'.

Sora: 'BONFIRE!'.

They all looked to see a heavenly sight before them, Kairi immediately lit it for a checkpoint and respawn point, allowing herself to cry in joy.

Kairi: 'Safeness…'.

Sora: 'YAY…but we need to get our bonfires…'.

Kairi: '…good luck guys!'.

Fifteen Minutes later…

Riku managed to reach his bonfire after three attempts, to which he swore profusely with each death, and even threatened his console harm with a golf club if he died again. Kairi made the wise choice in not pointing out technically it was his fault he died (sucked). Sora took longer, saying he tried another path but when he reached his end, he was locked outside of his bonfire spot and had to back track.

Kairi: 'Sora, are you there yet?'.

Sora: 'JUST AVOIDING THE FIRE KAIRI!'.

Riku: What the heck took you so long!? Why didn't you stick to the same path as us!?'.

Sora: 'Because it worked SO well for you?'.

Riku: 'I got here didn't I?'.

Kairi: 'Three deaths later…'.

Riku: 'Shove it…'.

Finally, the two boys dropped their signs and within a few seconds, they rose up from the ground as her buddies once more. But…Sora had a new weapon.

Sora: 'Check it!'.

Riku: 'The heck kinda sword is that?'.

Sora: 'The Drake Sword! I was running under this bridge and saw the tail! So I thought I could kill the dragon below the bridge cause he couldn't get me!'.

Kairi: 'Clever~'.

Riku: 'D-Did you kill it?'.

Sora: 'Nope! BUT I KEPT SHOOTING ITS TAIL AND THEN I GOT A SWORD!'.

Kairi: 'Aww no fair!'.

Riku: 'What are *you* complaining about!? You have a katana!'.

Kairi: '…b-but dragon swords…'.

After that, they climbed the stairs to the next section of the parish, and before them was a giant armoured pig. Instead, they climbed a round tower and proceeded upwards to top of up…and met with a black knight.

The knight swung its massive sword at them, forcing them to yell and roll. Sora made the first attack and slashed at it, dealing massive damage while Kairi just hacked away at him.

Unfortunately, it made another swing at them, hitting Sora and practically taking ninety five percent of his health.

Sora: 'OH MY HEALTH!'.

Kairi: 'He's so skinny! How does he hurt so much!?'.

Riku: 'I WANT THAT SWORD!'.

Riku made a jump attack and brought his sword down upon it, killing the knight. In turn, it dropped them all a decent amount of souls, and Riku even got its sword. He cried with joy…but then raged when he sees the stat requirements…

A fair trade off.

After the kill, with forced enthusiasm, they climb back down and face the metal piggy once more. This time, Kairi took her bow out and began to rain down pointy arrows of death upon the hollowed minions while Sora and Riku fought the pig.

The pig was almost invincible in the front, but behind?

Sora: 'BACKSTAB!'.

Sora one-shot the pig with his drake sword, and with their main weapon killed off, the hollows were practically nothing to the aggressive trio. Until the crossbow guy…

Sora: 'Aww crap!'.

**You Died**

And then Sora returned to his world, leaving his two buddies.

One respawn later…

Unlike Sora, the pig didn't respawn and all remained were a few hollows thankfully, so they managed to deal with them with ease. But the front gates were rudely closed by the sneaky hollows behind it, so they were forced to go below into the quarters of the guards (assumingly that's what they were), so that wasn't such a bad course of action…right?

Kairi entered first, but was then ambushed by the hollows and was killed. She forgot to heal from the black knight. Kairi let out a cry of surprise from the attack, but then whined in frustration when she herself bore witness to the sign.

**You Died**

Kairi: …

Sora: 'Kairi?'.

Kairi: 'I forgot to heal…Sora, Riku…turn off your headphones for the next few seconds'.

Riku and Sora literally threw their headphones off.

Kairi took a very deep breath, and then screamed.

Though the boys couldn't hear her, they can imagine the rage she was slowly building. Just as they lamented, Sora got a text from Naminé.

Sora: 'Naminé just texted me'.

Riku: 'What did she say?'.

Sora: 'She's asking us if Kairi was having a meltdown?'.

One teddy cuddling later…

Kairi: 'Lets just…pretend that never happened, okay?'.

Riku: 'Y-Yeah, sure'.

So with what TOTALLY never happened earlier, the entered the barracks and this time, Kairi viciously eviscerated the two hollows and slaughtered everything in her path, she was quite dead set on the slaughter. But they finally managed to climb up and out of the barracks and into the archways, where they found a new set of hollow enemies in rather familiar looking armour…

Whatever they were from, they were just hoping the trio wouldn't go BESERK from seeing these new enemies~

Still after killing a few, to Kairi's delight she managed to get their entire armour set! Immediately she threw it on, though it was heavier it boosted her defence greatly. She smiled, but then when she turned the camera to check herself out, she found something, off…

Kairi: 'Sora?'.

Sora: 'Yeah?'.

Kairi: 'C-Can you see my butt?'.

Curious (innocently he swears), Sora checked and too his surprise, he can indeed see her butt.

Sora: 'Yup, I can see your buttocks'.

Kairi: 'AWW COME ON!'.

She went back to her leather armour, pouting and grumbling about the design choices of awesome armour. Inside the cathedral, the found a very VERY large cleric with an equally large shield and spear. At first, they had a good plan, keep it focused on one of their own, keep back stabbing it and attacking it while it was wide open.

But then, like everything, Dark Souls threw a curve ball~

In the form of some mage person shooting magic at them and hitting them more often than it missed. But it underestimated the short patience of Riku.

After getting hit four times now, he yelled: 'THAT'S IT!'.

Riku abandoned the two and ran up the stairs, killed another balder knight, murdered several more hollows in a blind rage and reached the mage, still focused on shooting on his friends, was totally unaware of the silver raged boy. So, what did Riku do?

He got right behind it…and gave it a solid kick, knocking it off its ledge and it died the moment it hit the floor.

Riku: 'Get "this is spartad!"'.

Kairi and Sora killed the cleric, the other three balder knights and anything else that wanted them dead, and got plenty of souls and items for their troubles. Sora even got the balder gear too.

Riku: 'Okay, glad that's over'.

Sora: 'So…now what… wait whose Blueprincess342?'.

Kairi: 'Wait what?'.

The party had been invaded…

Riku: 'Oh shit, invasion!'.

Kairi: 'Wait what?'.

Riku: 'Oh yeah we can get invaded by other players or random NPCs'.

Before spawned a new player, wearing the heaviest set of armour they had ever seen (so far), carrying a beautiful looking katana and a dagger in the other hand. They gulped, knowing this clearly a Dark Soul's professional.

Riku: 'Okay, okay…it's cool, there are three of us and only one of her!'.

But just as he finished, the invader was behind him and gave him a devastating backstab, killing him instantly.

Riku: '…run!'.

The invader tossed him off her sword and turned on Sora and Kairi… running off in the distance.

Kairi/Sora: 'NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!'.

However even as they ran, the invader chased them all the way back to the bonfire, but Sora elected to stay behind.

Sora: 'I'll handle her! Save yourself Kairi!'.

Kairi: 'BEST OF LUCK SORA! TOTAL FAITH IN YOU!'.

Sora stood there, watching her abandon him…just like how they abandoned Riku earlier…

He didn't have very long to ponder nor wallow in guilt…

**You Died**

Kairi managed to get back to the bonfire, but awaiting for her (how the hell she managed to get here first) and stared her down. Kairi gulped.

Kairi: '…mercy?'.

The invader changed weapons, swapping her katana out and took out a massive hammer.

Kairi: '…why?'.

**You Died**

Five minutes later

Riku: 'So can we all just pretend, that never happened…?'.

Kairi: 'Please…'.

Sora: 'We didn't die…we were violated…'.

After that horrible ordeal (but not the last) they climbed through the cathedral, took down the remaining enemies and regained their souls, they arrived to apparently a dungeon, freed a knight in gold named Lautrec…who by voice and tone alone?

Sora: 'He's evil isn't he?'.

Riku: 'Yup'.

Kairi: 'Oh absolutely'.

Sora: 'So…?

Kairi: *Closes the door* 'Moving on'.

Upwards, they climbed several ladders to finally arrive at the top and came across the fog wall. This time, each prepped and prepared for the worst (they tell themselves), they entered the wall. So far they find themselves on a roof top, with naught to see but the large bell tower before them.

Sora: 'Boss…? Boss battle? Hello?'.

Kairi: 'Maybe there isn't any?'.

Riku: 'Kairi, ya know there is no such thing as mercy in this game. It's waiting for us'.

True to his pessimism, a lone gargoyle leapt from its tower and landed before them, roaring at them all.

Kairi: '…crud'.

The gargoyle leapt at them, swinging its massive axe at them, almost hitting them all. Sora and Kairi dodged rolled and Riku ran back, evading the very likely painful health consuming attack. Kairi charged at it, and after three hits, managed to cut it's tail off…and receiving its tail axe for a new weapon.

Kairi: 'OOH Sora's right! Hacking tails of beasts gives weapons!'.

Riku: 'Seriously how are you two having so much luck with weapons?'.

But just as Kairi's luck with weapons was good, their luck with happiness and no troubles proved to be equally horrible. How?

Another gargoyle joined the battle.

Sora: '…Hey Riku, he's yours!'.

Riku: 'WHY AM I FIGHTING ONE ON MY OWN!?'.

Kairi: 'Least it doesn't breathe fire!'.

Gargoyle spewed flames at Kairi, who squealed in terror and rolled away from the fires.

Kairi: 'OH COME ON! WHAT IS IT WITH FIRE IN THIS GAME!?'.

Sora: 'GUYS I'M GETTING FLASH BACKS!'.

Thankfully, Riku rolled around the fire spewing beast and slashed at it a few times before it fell before his blade. But the other gargoyle leapt and crushed Riku, not killing him but by Gwyn it hurt like hell. Thankfully Kairi ran at the gargoyle and stabbed it while Sora slammed his sword upon the monster, the combined might of the two finally slew the monster.

After that (and Kairi, again, gaining a new item), they all let out a breath of relief.

Sora: 'We did it…'.

Riku: 'And no one died…'.

Kairi was practically crying with joy…

So, with their cheers completed, they rang the bell of Awakening and completed the first part of the main starter quest. So after, the three climbed down…and met Oswald of Carim. He just stood there, arms spread out, and whether it be intentional or not, the trio all felt a need to run…and kill him.

Sora: '…can we go now?'.

Kairi: 'Yes'.

Riku: 'Yup'.

They trio left and returned to the bonfire nearest to Solaire, and that is where they decided to call an end to this session of torment.

Sora: 'If anyone needs me, I'm gonna go to sleep. Night guys, and thanks for the rage Riku'.

Riku: 'I'm gonna be repressing a lot of memories tonight…'.

Kairi: 'Riku, is there a way to turn off invasions?'.

Riku: 'No, get used to that'.

Kairi: 'UGH! What kinda jerk would invade a bunch of new gamers!? Who ever it was must have been a complete bully!'.

Neighbours Home

Aqua smiled to herself in satisfaction, rubbing her hands together.

Aqua: 'Another day, another bunch of scrubs…is that the right word?'.

Ventus: 'Yeah, but sheesh those guys were total noobs!'.

However, as the trio looked at the player names on the network, Terra's eyes narrowed for a moment, and then widened.

Terra: 'Umm guys, you recognize those names?'.

The two peered at the screen.

Ventus: 'Oh yeah! That's Riku, Sora and…Kairi…whose never played…this game…'.

Aqua: '…that was bullying wasn't it?'.

Terra patted both their shoulders and leaned into both their ears.

Terra: 'Live with the guilt'.

And he left the two to wallow in their misdeeds~

A/N:

Part two! So hope you guys had fun with this. I'm not sure if I'm gonna include EVERYTHING in DS, so if there's any specific moments or dungeons you guys wanna see, let me know.

Also if anyone is gonna ask if the other trio are gonna have more parts? Probably not…buuuut….who knows? Thanks for reading, stay awesome but more importantly stay safe!


	3. Chapter 3

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 3

The Toothy Dragon

Next Day

Before the Destiny Island Trio would resume their playthrough of DS, they were asked to join alongside Aqua's group for some morning exercise.

Nothing new as more than once the two groups of trios would meet up for keeping their skills sharp, peace is a fickle and fragile thing after all. But instead of being cheery and excited for the whole thing, Sora's gang looked close to murder the first person who spoke.

Terra: 'Whoa, you guys ok?'.

Riku: '…peachy…'.

Aqua: *sweating and nervously smiling* 'W-Why? Did something happen?'.

Sora: 'SOME JERK-FACE ATTACKED US!'.

Ven: *More nervously* 'Wha-what do you mean?'.

Kairi: What Sora meant to say is that last night, we played Dark Souls and a random player attacked... LIKE A SON OF A B***!

Aqua: 'H-heh, m-maybe you guys are, kinda exaggerating?'.

Sora: THEY R*** US! If I found these creeps in the real life, I'll... I'll... *turn into Rage Form, he gives a punch on the ground* TEAR THEM LIMB FROM LIMB AND FEED ON THEIR BLACKENED HEARTS!'

*The entire ground of the training ground cracks under the force of the impact*

Terra: Hey, calm down there, kitty, pretty sure they were just a bunch of random people who wanna see you guys rage'.

Aqua/Ven: *Shaking, sweating and turning pale*

Sora: *back to normal* 'Sorry!... Hey... Ven?'

Ven: 'Y... Yeah?'

Sora: 'Are you ok?'

Ven: 'YES! why?'

Kairi: 'Your pants are wet...'

Ventus didn't respond, but he let a whine and left the training grounds to change his pants…and possibly avoid the trio for the day.

Terra: 'Right, so Sora, Kairi, you two are sparring with Aqua first, Riku, watch'.

Aqua: 'WAIT WHAT!?'.

Terra: 'Come on Aqua, you've done it before. Sides, you'll be fine'.

Aqua gulped when the two summoned their keyblades, her eyes widened, and her shakes increased.

Kairi: 'Jeez Aqua, we're not THAT intimidating, are we?'.

Sora: 'Yeah, why do you look like we're gonna eat you?'.

Terra: 'Yeah, its not like you did something to them, right?'.

Terra was sporting that devilish smirk of his, fully aware of what he just did.

Aqua: '…OW! Oh dear!'.

She clutched her stomach and groaned.

Aqua: 'S-Stomach ache! I-I'll be back in a bit!'.

Before the two could ask, Aqua practically vanished with such speed she almost turned into a blur of blue.

Riku: 'D-Did something happen?'.

Terra spent the WHOLE morning laughing his ass off…

Night

Kairi: 'Ok, so we did the bell up here…now we have to find another one…?'.

Riku: 'Yup…in Blighttown, supposed most hated place in the entire game…'.

Sora: 'Wait there places people LIKE in this game?'.

Riku: 'To each their own buddy'.

So after some searching (IE Kairi looking up on internet) the trio discovered they need a key in order to enter the forsaken town, so they headed for the Lower Undead Burg, where they were likely to find a path to the key.

So far, aside from everything looking closer to a result of a Game of Thrones warzone, their biggest troubles started off with dogs trying to maul them. One managed to bit Riku, before Sora took them down.

Sora: 'ZOMBIE DOGS!? OH come on!'.

Kairi: 'Please no zombie puppies or kitties, my heart can only take so much!'.

And then Kairi was then back stabbed by random assassin, almost killing her.

Kairi: 'OH YOU DIRTY BUTT FACE!'.

And this Kairi reunited that man with a broad sword to its face.

So they explored the burg, killed some baddies, got some loot and Riku was thoroughly convinced he was gonna end up hating dogs by the eighth attack. But then, surprisingly they came to a fog wall rather early than the last dungeon they explored. The trio all shared looks of apprehension, before they resigned their fates and decided to see what lied beyond that wall.

They entered…and were all greeted by the Capra Demon, who introduced them to its twin blades that NEARLY one shot them all.

Riku: 'OH MY FUCKING GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS!?'.

Sora: 'DOGGIES!'.

And thus, the dogs took Riku's life.

Riku: '…FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!'.

**You Died**

Attempt number 2.

Riku: 'I'm going to pick the evil ending, just so I can say everything and EVERYONE was killed by my choice!'.

Kairi: 'Riku, remember what we said about darkness talk?'.

Riku: '…yes Kairi…'.

So they re-entered the fog wall, and this time the trio evaded both the demon and dogs, with Sora and Kairi slaying the evil undead mutts. Riku attacked the Capra Demon, hacking away but still rolling and dodging it's bull**** attack power. Sadly, it managed to hit Sora and drained almost his entire health.

Sora: 'SERIOUSLY!?'.

Suddenly, a ball of fire smacked the demon in the hit, dealing massive damage to it. Riku looked and saw Kairi's hand was glowing red.

Kairi: '…I can use fire magic?'.

Sora: 'Didn't you pick the pyromancer class?'.

Kairi blinked…and then spammed the fire.

Kairi: 'FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE!'.

And thus, Kairi's love for fire was rekindled~

So they killed the demon, got the key and surplus of souls.

But…

Riku: 'YOU HAD FIRE BALLS THE WHOLE FREAKING TIME AND YOU DIDN'T USE IT!?'.

Kairi: 'I didn't know! How was I supposed to know what "Pyromancer" was!?'.

Riku: 'DID YOU EVEN LOOK AT THE CHARACTER CLASSES!?'.

Kairi: 'WHAT IS THIS DND MADNESS!?'.

Sora: 'COCONUTS ARE DELICIOUS!'.

Kairi: 'I…Wait, why are you yelling?'.

Sora: 'Everyone else was screaming, I felt left out'.

After the screaming session (certainly not the last), they proceeded down into the Depths, the next dungeon to explore.

Inside, the dank and dark place, they encountered more hollows and after a few kills, they all decided to re-check their gear. Thanks to their previous fights and kills, they managed to accumulate for rather good gear. So after some rearranging, Riku wore the Chainmail set with a claymore, Sora in his Balder gear with a shield and his Drake Sword, and Kairi wore her Pyromancer Set with a spear and shield.

Sora: 'Wish Keyblades were weapons…'.

Riku: 'They'd be too OP'.

Kairi: 'Invasions are OP!'.

Speaking of which, they got invaded.

Sora: 'Icecreamking!? OH COME THE FRICK ON!'.

Climbing up the stairs that led further down to the Depths, indeed an invader arrived…in possibly the fattest looking armour set they have ever seen and carrying a large hammer. The invader started to taunt them via mock guard, almost goading them.

Kairi: 'Oh joy…it's a troll…'.

Sora: 'What do we do?'.

Riku: 'Well…maybe we could negotiate with them?'.

Kairi, however, looked at her hand…

Kairi: 'FIRE!'.

She started to toss balls of fire at the invader, but he fat rolled (heavy rolling) away, but Sora and Riku rushed in and began to attack the invader without mercy.

Riku: 'BUMRUSH HIM!'.

Sora: 'NO MERCY!'.

The combined might of melee weapons and Kairi's flames, the invader was finally slain from Sora's blade. They stood together watching the invader fade into nothing, their jaws fell.

Riku: 'W-We, we did it'.

Sora: 'We beat an invader…'.

Kairi: '…VICTORY!'.

So with that burst of cheer and victorious feeling, they proceeded further down the depths, killing more murderous doggies (Riku taking a lot of joy from it), and came across the butcher. It saw them and began to swing a massive machete at them. But it met the same fate as the invader.

Kairi: 'BURN!'.

And she got his weapon in return. But like a chocolate cake Kairi loved, good things never last.

Kairi: 'What the…hey guys? Why can't I use more fire balls?'.

Sora: 'Oh yeah, pyromancy is sort of limited, like magic'.

Kairi: 'B-B-But…how do I replenish!?'.

Riku: 'Bonfires'.

Kairi: '…This game hates me!'.

So without Kairi's fiery gifts, they took their time proceeding through the dungeons, recused a potential mentor for Kairi's fire magic, slew another butcher by Riku unashamedly backstabbing it, and then they finally came to narrow corridors. They kept a slow pacing, refusing to rush ahead in case they end up in an ambush. Sadly they neglected to keep an eye on the ceiling…

A blob monster fell on Kairi, and started to damage her.

Kairi: 'GAH! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!'.

Once the harming animation was finished the two boys viciously stabbed and mauled it, while Kairi was panting and panicking from all of it. She muttered a swear and eyed the blob with pure hatred for it.

But as they turned down another corridor, THIS time they all looked to the ceiling and spotted a horde of the blob monsters. Kairi whined in frustration, while the boys groaned in annoyance.

Sora: 'You gotta be kidding me! How are we gonna deal with all that!?'.

Then, one quick inventory check, they all found they managed to grind a few fire bombs…

And thus they started to pelt every blobby monster with fire, dealing massive damage and slaughtering them all, yelling profanities and their love for fire stuff. Once they massacred them all, found a bonfire to replenish their healing potions and Kairi's pyromancy, they resumed their exploration.

The sewers however were almost close to a maze, the party would get lost, find themselves in dead ends, fight more monsters, and some loot. But unfortunately they came across possibly the most terrifying monsters in the game.

The Basilisks.

Kairi screamed in terror while the boys yell in fear, deciding to run from the horde as opposed to fight them. They were chased all throughout the sewers, even running into another horde, but consisting of rats instead. Kairi cried out in disgust and the boys themselves yelled in terror. Now being chased by two groups of monsters, the party just ran and ran away from them all, until finally they can to a narrow passage away.

Kairi ran in first, then Riku and finally Sora, but he turned around.

Sora: 'Guys?'.

They stopped running and turning to see the monsters were all in a line and with Sora keeping his shield up and standing in front of the door blocking them, they were trapped. The rats were all in front, and the basilisks were in the back, where their cursed breaths couldn't touch them. And the rats did little to nothing to Sora's stamina bar, which meant he could keep his shield up forever if he wanted to.

Kairi looked at the pyromancer hand, and the bow in the other hand.

Kairi: 'Riku, wanna try some archery?'.

Riku: 'Yes~'.

Fire and arrows rain down upon their foes, souls consumed and even some humanity obtained, it was a good show of teamwork!

Finally, the trio came to another fog wall, but before they approached it, they spotted another sign on the ground, in bright gold light.

Kairi: 'There are summons? Like Simba and Ariel?'.

Sora: 'I WISH!'.

Riku: 'Lets give it a shot'.

Kairi touched the sign, and to their surprise, it turned out to be Solaire, doing that oh so beloved emote. They blinked, shrugged and approached the fog wall.

An open area with pillars, water and an ledge that probably wouldn't end well for them if they jumped. Slowly, a tail appeared from the edge, and out came the Gaping Dragon. A massive beast with its entire torso being nothing but teeth.

Riku: 'THAT…is fricking terrifying!'.

Kairi: 'LOOK AT ALL THAT TEETH! ITS LIKE AN ALIGATOR AND SHARK CROSSBREED!'.

Sora: 'Imaging how long it'd take to brush its teeth'.

The dragon charged towards them all, leaping into the air. The four split and ran several directions as the beast fell. It swirled around and smacked Sora and Riku, damaging them while Kairi tossed fire at the monster. Though it harmed it, the beast was barely fazed by her fiery wrath and stomped towards her.

Kairi: 'GUYS A LITTLE HELP!'.

Riku ran and attacked its tail as it marched to Kairi, seemingly ignoring Riku's wild slashes. But it proved to be a poor choice, for Riku cut the tail off, and got the "Dragon King Greataxe". He let out a yell of approval, but his celebrated a bit too early, for it seems dragon's become a bit upset when you cut off their tails, and they are not afraid to show their frustrations.

It stomped on Riku, and had the boy not rolled away, he would've died and seen that familiar sign. Riku ran back as Kairi threw fire balls like a madwoman, but Sora leapt and attacked it head on…and got a royal smack to his face. Sora cursed and rolled away, but then Solaire, literally tossed a bolt of lightning at the monster.

Sora: 'Solaire can use lightning!?'.

Riku: 'We can use lightning in this game!?'.

Kairi: 'I wanna throw lightning!'.

Solaire threw another one at the dragon, downing its health and slowly but surely it was on its critical state.

Kairi: 'Go Solaire!'.

Riku: 'Keep it up buddy!'.

Sora: 'You got this!'.

…and then he died.

The dragon crushed the knight, which in turn killed him…and left the trio remaining. They all just watched the phantom fade into nothing, their hopes dying along with him, as the dragon turned on them.

Sora: '…we're gonna die'.

Riku: 'EVADE!'.

The three ran away from the dragon, dodging it's mighty claws and slap happy hands, smashing and crushing the ground around it. It then vomited acid around it, surrounding itself in its own melting bile, which gained a gag from Kairi.

Kairi: 'Gross!'.

Riku: 'How are we supposed to deal with that?'.

Sora: 'Throw something at it?'.

Kairi: 'Ooh! Arrows!'.

Kairi began to use her bow, and fired several arrows at the best as it focused on the two boys, Sora blocking while Riku evaded and slashed. Arrow after arrow she fired, cut and stab the boys did. In time, one final swipe of Riku's sword defeated the monstrous beast. It fell, and thus the battle was over.

Humanity gained, souls consumed and a key to the next location, they decided it'd be best to call it a night after they returned to Firelink Shrine for Kairi's lessons…and maybe some safety safe place.

Tomorrow, their real struggles begins…

A/N: Another chapter! Whoo!

Now full disclosure, the scene with Aqua and company was conjured up by Ima Nonyme. They have been a gem to talk to, and they've helped fleshing this story out! So thanks so much!

And big thanks to everyone whose favoured and followed this story! So as always, thanks for reading, stay awesome but more importantly stay safe!


	4. Chapter 4

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 4

Forest of tragedy and Town of misery

Kairi: 'So many fire spells, so many ways to harm bad people'.

Sora: 'Is it me, or is she drooling on her end?'.

Riku: 'I'd be very concerned if she is…'.

Kairi: 'SHUSH! Anyways! So I heard there's this blacksmith, that can, you know, upgrade our stuff, and there's like an item to make his stuff even more beneficial to us…?'.

Riku: 'Ok cool, we can check that place out…where is it again…?'.

Kairi: 'Uhh, by the church…past the…dragon…'.

And for the next two minutes, the trio screamed "no" so loud that it was a cry that could be heard across the worlds…

Fifteen Minutes of agony later…

Kairi: 'Ok…after what, my fourth death? I found the blacksmith…and have to guys noticed something, off about the models?'.

Riku: 'Aside from that guy who wanted more than a hug?'.

Kairi: 'Well yes, but you noticed how no one has any mouth movement?'.

Sora: 'Oh I thought there using their minds to communicate'.

Riku: 'How did you come to that conclusion?'.

Kairi: 'After seeing that blacksmith? I'm beginning to see why…its like, a broken animatronics jaw hopelessly attempt to move its mouth like a regular being…'.

Sora: 'Dark Souls brings out the savage in Kairi'.

So after each of them spoke, did some upgrading, and some advice given, the trio ventured forth into the next section. The forest was just ahead of them, the issue? Oh nothing to be concerned about, aside from a rock demon without a head.

Riku: 'The heck is that supposed to be!?'.

Kairi: 'Test subject for fire magic!'.

Kairi used the "Combustion" spell, and did decent damage, but compared to the health points of the beast, it was like a minor scratch. Kairi blinked, before she started to run around in circles, dodging the monster's spear like weapon.

Kairi: 'GUYS! FIRE DOESN'T WORK WELL ON ROCK MONSTERS!'.

Riku: 'OH REALLY!?'.

Sora: 'Maybe swords will-

They heard a crushing sound, from their end.

Sora: '…Give me a minute to test it!'.

Riku groaned and began to roll and leap around the beast, taking quick swings behind the monster while it was throwing its weapon around. But then unfortunately, its tail counted as a weapon, and smacked Riku. He cursed and ran back, drinking his healing potion, but he forgot the practicality of a spear, its range.

And paid the price.

Riku: 'SON OF A ROCK FUCKER!'.

**You Died.**

Kairi: 'I will be the first to melt stone! Melt, you headless beast!'.

The Titanite Demon(the monster) then aimed its spear at her and fired lightning bolts are her. Kairi squeaked in terror, rolling and cancelling her attack to evade the shocking pain. It then leapt and landed on her, killing the red head pyromancer.

Kairi: '…it sat on me'.

**You Died.**

After that ordeal of misery, the trio stood at the bonfires in their respective worlds, each lamenting.

Kairi: 'How are we supposed to beat that!?'.

Sora: 'Hey, was there a fog wall?'.

Kairi: 'No…?'.

Sora: 'Then, couldn't we just, run past it?'.

Riku and Kairi went silent…

So the brave heroes, BRAVELY ran away from the monster, and entered their next dungeon.

The Darkroot Garden

They found themselves in a bleak and dark forest, nary a sound bar their footsteps and clinks of armour and gear. Fortunately, Kairi could summon Riku and Sora to her world once more, much to her relief and joy. But unfortunately, in doing so, the fog wall blocked the entrance for them and the demon. So much for bum rushing the monster again…

Sora: '…we're not in Corona'.

Riku: 'Whatever gave that away?'.

Sora: 'I feel freedom, joy and happiness there'.

Kairi: 'And what do you feel here?'.

Sora: 'Despair'.

After that joyful statement from the ever cheery Sora, they progressed through the forest, climbing up a hill and then descend a hill, and encountered another black knight, wielding a halberd and shield…and charged at the trio.

Sora: 'How many of these guys are there!?'.

Riku: 'Look out!'.

They all dodged…but sadly for Sora he accidentally rolled off a cliff.

Sora: 'GOD DANG IT!'.

**You Died.**

So with one down, Kairi did the sensible thing and chucked fire balls at the knight while Riku kept it focused on him. Riku swung his sword and dodged, keeping at a fair distance from the knight. One last fire ball to its face, Kari killed the knight, got the souls and gained its halberd in response.

She squealed with joy, while Sora lamented his loss and Riku chugged down his healing potions.

Kairi: 'OOOOHHHHH, this halberd is so cool! If only I invested in strength…'.

Riku: 'Wimp! That's what you get for spending all your souls into intelligence and faith!'.

Kairi: 'Oh yeah! Give me a bonfire!'.

So after, Kairi and Riku returned to where they originally summoned Sora, respawned him, and resumed their journey. Through the narrow passage, they were attacked by tree like monsters, but they were no match for Kairi's pyromancy, and she reviled in the power she wielded.

Kairi: 'I am the goddess of fire, trees bow to me in terror!'.

Kairi threw another fireball at one, but another managed to sneak up and attack her, knocking her off the ledge and into death.

Kairi: '… *deep inhale* I deserved that'.

One back track later…

Riku: 'Ok, lets keep our egos in check, make sure we're aware of our surroundings, and for god sake can we let up on the dying!?'.

Kairi: 'Oh shush! You've died more than me and Sora! I'm a novice at these games, what's your excuse!?'.

Sora: 'Cockiness?'.

Kairi: 'Thank you Sora'.

Riku: 'Whipped'.

After the savagery of friendship, the trio, as carefully as possible, slay the tree enemies, found a bonfire, and ventured deeper into the dark and bleak forest. They spot an item, but through keen observation on Kairi's part, she sees the bush shaped monsters laying in wait for them. So, she, you guessed it, threw MORE fire balls at them.

And sure enough, they popped out of the ground, meeting their fates to the heroes' swords. So one item given to them, and more souls, who could ask for more? With that done, proceeded deeper into the forest, eyes open for any more surprises and baddies, until they found another item awaiting them all. There were no bush monsters near them, along with there being fallen statues just laying there, they chucked it up to the lore.

If only it were so.

Instead, the moment Kairi picked up the item, which turned out to be a new armour set, the statues got up. And two in total, with massive swords and shields equal in height to a building, and probably equal in weight. They attacked the party, hitting Kairi first, then one bashed Sora with its shield.

Riku ran at it but was suddenly ambushed by the bush people again, swarming him and spam hitting him, which resulted in death. Kairi and Sora were not far behind him.

Riku: '…FUCKING BUSHES!'.

**You Died.**

Kairi: '…I am going to burn this place down…frick them all!'.

Sora: 'W-Wait…I LOST MY SOULS!'.

Riku: 'Oh crap, we forgot to go back where he died…'.

Sora: 'TEN THOUSAND SOULS!'.

In Memory of Sora's Souls

With that tragedy finished, they returned back to the where they were all murdered, this time with absolute vengeance in their hearts and eyes. Kairi incinerated every bush monster without any remorse, Riku cleaved his way through one giant, while Sora destroyed the other. No one was harmed, their potions at the ready, and their souls reclaimed, while Sora lamented his loss once again. Regardless, they each claimed the armour set with only the boys being able to wear it without much issues even with Havel's Ring.

Thus, they found a ruined tower, climbed it and came across another fog wall. Immediately they tensed up, entered and aimed their weapons at nothing but the air. That was until the Moonlight Butterfly arrived, gracefully flying into the air.

Kairi: 'Aww, that's so pretty'.

Sora: 'Butterfly~'.

Riku: '…seriously? This is a boss? What's it gonna do? Fly away from us?'.

He got his answer, the butterfly fired four beams of light at them, making them all scream and dodged the surprise attack.

Riku: 'Or fire magic at us! That's fine!'.

Kairi: 'Evil butterfly must die!'.

While Kairi held the advantage of possessing fire balls and arrows, the boys have no way to attacking it which forced them to be restricted to dodging and running from the beams of pain. Kairi threw fire ball after fire ball at the flying creature, hit and missing the monster but she was doing a lot more than her boys.

The butterfly then fired a full concentrated beam at them, making them all run, with Sora to the right and Kairi and Riku running down the left of the wall.

Sora: 'This is the coolest butterfly ever!'.

Riku: 'Less praise more killing!'.

The butterfly made the poor choice of landing upon the wall's edge to recuperate, which left it wide open for the team. Riku and Sora practically leapt on the monster and hacked it away, stabbing and slashing it relentlessly while Kairi just threw more fire at the monster.

Finally, the beast fell to their combined brutality and perished, leaving its boss soul and plenty of souls for the team.

Kairi: 'Victory~'.

Sora: 'RIP awesome butterfly!'.

Next, they collected the Divine Ember for the blacksmith and returned to the smith, bravely running past their nemesis and handing it to him. Some levelling up, re-adjustments to their gear (and Kairi smugly holding her new black knight halberd), they agreed it was time for the supposed worst place in the entire game, Blighttown.

They navigated through the Depths, found the gate, and joined Kairi's world.

Sora: 'So…what's the reason this place was hated?'.

Kairi: 'Something about the original's frame rate being absolute garbage? I dunno, but personally this place is so frigging dark!'.

Riku: 'Do we have a torch on hand?'.

Kairi: 'You'd think using pyromancy as a torch would be a spell…'.

They walked on the rickety wooden ramparts, immediately they were attacked by large fat ogre like monsters with clubs. Luckily Riku managed to parry its attack and with one riposte, he killed it. It dropped an item for them…and it was a dung pie.

Riku: '…d-did, did they just drop shit? And I can pick it up?'.

Kairi: 'THAT'S DISGUSTING!'.

Sora: 'Why? Why is THAT an item!?'.

Ignoring the…item, the trio ventured onwards, but it wasn't long before Kairi was hit by an invisible dart laced with toxin. Her health was steadily declining, fast. Panicking, she consumed the purple moss but it did nothing to prevent her slow death.

Kairi: 'WHY ISN'T IT STOPPING!? WHY AM I STILL POI- Toxin? TOXIN!?'.

Sora: 'Oh then use this'.

Sora dropped Kairi a "Blooming Purple Moss Clump", which she scooped up quickly and downed it, stopping her toxin. She glared at the sneaky assassin that tried to murder her via medieval methods and rewarded it with a massive ball of fire.

Riku: 'Great, literally crappy item drops, and now poisonous attacks? What fun to be had!'.

With even more caution, if it were possible, they proceeded deeper into the area, still taking their time to navigate the horrible place. They faced all kinds of sneaky snipers, just barely eating the moss to stop the toxin while fighting the green monsters. And literally picking up their crap.

They came to a very wobbly bridge that was broken with a small shack of a house was just ahead of them. So they each took a leap and managed to land on the house, though their health took some nasty hits. But for Kairi?

Kairi: 'OOOOOOHHHH! Another katana!'.

Riku: 'Are you serious!?'.

Sora: 'Weapon Finder Kairi strikes again!'.

They eventually climbed down the shack and proceeded through the area, keeping themselves in a slow pace to avoid any ambushes or worse. So far, they found a bonfire, lit it and moved on, but then were attacked by smaller dogs, except they were red, and breathe fire.

Sora: 'FIRE BREATHING UNDEAD DOGS!? Seriously game!?'.

Kairi: 'Stab it!'.

Thankfully they had little trouble with the beast, IE they learned that the fire doggies are NOT immune to katanas. They walked onwards back on the rickety bridges, this time the trio spotted on the wall a large parasitic creature hugging the wall. On the wall, where they needed to pass through to venture forth deeper into the region.

Kairi gave both boys bow and arrows, wordlessly. And they picked off the monster without second thoughts.

Sora: 'This place is horrible'.

Finally, they managed to reach the swamp area of Blighttown. They all allowed themselves breaths of relief, until…

Invasion reoccurred.

Sora: Oh crap! We're being invaded!'.

Kairi: 'Please don't be Blueprincess342! PLEASE don't be Blueprincess342!'.

The invader's name was named "Strugglingchamp4536", and before them was what looked like a knight, wielding a club.

Riku: 'Kairi, get ready to spam fireballs like a madwoman!'.

Kairi: 'FIRE SPAMS AT THE READY!'.

The invader attacked the party, Sora rushed in first, blocking his attack with the shield. Riku leapt and attacked the invader, hitting him and forcing them to roll away from the two. Sora and Riku kept attacking him while Kairi threw more fire at the invader. However, as the three fought in the swamp, Riku noticed his poison bar going up. Which meant the swamp was poisonous to them and likely their invader.

Riku: 'Sora, out of the swamp!'.

They both ran out of the swamp back onto not poisoned land and used arrows and Kairi's fire to keep their distance from the invader, and in a swift turn of hope, the invader suddenly died from the poison. The trio cheered with joy, until they realized something crucial…

They MUST cross the swamp, to find the next bell…

And they didn't have any more antidotes for the poison, and that meant, backtracking…through EVERY dungeon to get here…

Quietly, they all logged off their games. Kairi laid on her bed and slammed a pillow on her face, Riku leaned back in his seat, and Sora went to the to top of his house. And all at once, like some form perfect sync, screamed to the top of the lungs in rage.

Their journey had just gotten a LOT harder…

A/N: Who can guess who the invader was this time? So yes, I did two dungeons in one chapter. Originally I was planning to do just the forest but I felt it was insufficient for this chapter so I did two!

So I'm curious, is everyone happy with the pace or do you think I should do more with the story? Let me know if you all have concerns! As always, thanks for reading, stay awesome but most importantly stay safe!


	5. Chapter 5

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 5

Spider-Ladies, sleeping Dragons, Serpents and Fortresses

After two hours of backtracking, grinding souls for currency, purchasing several antidotes, deaths, losses of souls, and PLENTY of rage from Riku, the trio FINALLY returned to the spot where they faced and killed the invader.

Their moods…were less than ideal…

Sora: 'Remind me, why are we still playing?'.

Kairi: 'Maybe its our pride? We just wanna say "we beat Dark Souls" and that for some reason will give us satisfaction?'.

Riku: 'Here I was thinking becoming a true Keyblade Master would be my biggest accomplishment , nope. I wanna beat Dark Souls…'.

Kairi: 'Well I wanna accomplish something!'.

Sora: 'You graduated from high school with the highest scores!'.

Kairi: 'Game wise!'.

After the debate of accomplishes and their weight in worth, they resumed their adventures through this cursed place. Because of the swamp was poisonous, they stuck to the land near the ruined city and taking baby steps. Their new enemies consisted of mosquito like bugs that seemed, no matter how many times Kairi murdered them, they refused to stop respawning.

In the end, they found a small tunnel that, lo and behold, sanctioned a bonfire. They all cheered…and were suddenly invaded.

Riku: 'OH COME ON! We just found it!'.

Kairi: 'I'm thoroughly convinced, Maleficent made this game!'.

Maneater Mildred, the invader, rushed at them despite being stuck in the swamp, and she was apparently immune to the poison. To which the trio groaned, but Kairi noticed her attire and gear.

Kairi: 'S-She doesn't look THAT tough…'.

Sora: 'Maybe?'.

Too their delight Kairi's thoughts were true as Sora found after three two handed strikes, the maneater perished and dropped her machete. Granted his sword was far greater, but he got some souls for his heroic acts. Regardless, the party found the location of the bell lied ahead, through the vast swamp which meant they would have to brave through it and find the islands to stand on for reprieve.

Too add further insult to injury, their movements were slowed to walking through the cursed gunk, so they were all forced to roll. But the enemies were ignoring their issues as the bugs threw bloodied bile at them as they all rolled for the islands.

After several swears and roll (to which Sora asked how they were not dizzy from all of it), they eventually came to an island just a few feet away from the location of bell. Also, they found a woman sitting down against the stone pillar. Kairi spoke to her, and to her delight, she carried more pyromancy spells that were far more expensive but twice as powerful.

Almost 100,000 souls well spent!

Then, they see the land ahead where the bell lied, buuuuuut…. there were also three large ogre like monsters, some of them were even carrying boulders.

Sora: 'That's…where we're going, isn't it?'.

Riku: 'Yup…'.

Sora: '…Kairi, strategy?'.

Kairi: 'Well lets see, we've limited healing potions, we're poisoned if we stay in the muck, they are bigger, stronger and probably have more health than us…so my suggestion?'.

Riku: 'Chicken out?'.

Kairi: 'Chicken out'.

Thus, the trio managed to go AROUND them, though they killed some bug monsters, and managed to arrive at the cave, which was covered in webs.

Kairi: 'Spiders…it had to be freaking spiders'.

Sora: 'Oh I didn't know you were scared spiders'.

Kairi: 'And I didn't know how much I like fire magic but here we are'.

Regardless of Kairi's fears, they entered the cave and found two egg carriers, yet they refused to attack them. Not ones to tempt fate, the three decided to spare these poor souls and delved deeper into the cave and soon, came across a fog wall.

Riku: 'Ok, we got this'.

Sora: 'Yeah, I mean, how bad can this boss be?'.

Kairi: 'So long as its not a giant spider, I'll be fine'.

They all entered and…well, Kairi got half her wish, literally.

For ahead of them was a demon unlike anything the trio had seen as of yet, a large lava spewing spider monster, but the concerning part was on the spider was half a woman, smiling sensually at them.

Kairi: '…that's is so creepy'.

Sora: 'NUDITY!'.

Riku: 'That's what set you off?'.

Kairi: 'Its okay Sora, they're fake!'.

Riku: '…feel like that was more directed at the size…'.

Said spider lady also carried a large lava sword in hand, so before they could discuss whether Kairi was bitter towards the beast for sizes alone, it charged at them.

Sora: 'I think she heard you Kairi!'.

Kairi: 'Meep!'.

The spider lady leapt upon them, separating them all. Her swings were wild yet covered plenty of space to keep them away from her. Each swing created a web of fire, which on surface was cool but when it hits? Suffice to say Kairi made the wise choice to stay away from it and stuck with a bow and arrow.

Riku rolled behind the monster and begins to attack her backside. The spider lady spun around and slashed at him, hitting him backwards from her. The spider head fired lava at him, which surrounded the warrior and gave him little room to move or escape.

Riku: '…well this isn't going to end well…'.

He wasn't wrong.

**You Died**

Sora struck its legs, but he was then smashed by the spider legs, which NEARLY killed him, which forced him to retreat. Kairi ran out of arrows soon, and with a good guess that pyromancy against a lava monster wasn't a great strategy, she was forced to go back to her halberd. She ran into the monster, cutting and chopping away, but then its human section lurched forward and bent down, and then next thing Kairi knew she was caught in a massive AOE attack the ultimately destroyed her.

Kairi: 'OH for! Serious!?'.

**You Died**

Sora was on his own and slowly his confidence, like Riku and Kairi, was dying away. He started to strictly dash and avoid the monster's attack, taking one swing at a time but his hit and run tactics did little for him and more so for the monster as it was draining his potions and with all the lava it spewed, it was as if he was fighting in a volcano.

Riku: 'Sora, did you die yet?'.

Sora: 'Surprisingly no!'.

Riku: 'Oh crap! How are you still alive?'.

Sora: 'RUNNING LIKE A CHICKEN!'.

Kairi: 'Come on Sora, if you kill her, we can be done with this evil witch lady!'.

Sora: 'B-But, it's too hard!'.

Kairi: 'Sora! If you kill her, I will bake you my specialty~'.

Suddenly, Sora ceased dodging and running and faced down the spider lady with determination. Sora rushed in, dodging the lava, the sword sweeps and AOE bull. Sora slashed and cut, dodged and weaved, his sword a blur and he was like a ghost, untouchable.

The spider was slain with one final cleave of his sword, Sora brought down the spider lady. The monster perished, and Sora stood there with pride.

Sora: 'I win!'.

Riku: 'Shit, he won!?'.

Kairi: 'AHA! Good Sora!'.

Sora: 'Cake?'.

Kairi: 'After this session, promise'.

After, they were re-summoned and ventured deep into the cave, finding the bell and ringing it. Finally, the prophecy (lore) was fulfilled, and now all they had to do, was return to the Firelink Shrine to resume the main quest.

But before they did, Riku sees another dungeon to explore, and they all decide to see what it was like before they back tracked.

What they saw was the very definition of hell, plenty of the Capra Demons in the distance, egg carriers and everywhere was filled with fire and lava.

Kairi/Sora/Riku: '…NOPE'.

And they made the long journey back to the central hub.

After shamelessly checking a walkthrough for a potential shortcut back up, they found themselves climbing a large waterwheel and would have to make several leaps to the higher levels…which they all died several times due to poor timing, mis-directions, and of course, enemies that just LOVED to ruin their days.

They met a tragic end at the hands of Kairi's fires and Riku rage.

They climbed up higher and higher the ruined city, eventually coming to a tunnel filled with the crap dropping enemies. Sora and Riku took front while Kairi burned burnt them all, not without trouble though as they were toxic and had to scarf down their antidotes like no tomorrow. And of course, their items drops were crap. Literally.

Kairi: 'I hate this place…'.

They came to a gate, unlocked it and thus entered a valley called "Valley of Drakes", which gave them all a breath of fresh air from the vile place they came from.

Sora: 'So, which way now?'.

Riku: 'Uh, Kairi?'.

Kairi: 'We need to go into the elevator thing over there if we want to return back to the Firelink Shrine'.

Riku: 'Ok then, lets have a look around and see if there's good stuff'.

They ventured away from the elevator…and came across a dead dragon. They all stilled in fear, but when it wasn't moving confirming it was dead, they spotted the items. But like every treasure that seemed to be just waiting to be plucked up by adventurers, the dragon woke up. And slammed its massive claws upon the trio, killing them all.

Sora: '…we haven't learned a thing…'.

Kairi: 'Aww come on…how can this get any worse?'.

Oh it did get worse for them, because they all respawned…back to Blighttown…

And they all spent five minutes screaming, swearing and promising bodily harm to anyone and everyone within this game.

One hour of Backtracking later…

Finally, they returned to the main hub, souls recovered (JUST to make sure Sora would shut up about losing "TEN THOUSAND SOULS" again), but to their dismay, the bonfire wasn't working. Which meant, if they died, they'd be all the way back to Blighttown…

That was bad enough, so much in fact, when they came across Frampt, the Primordial Serpent and key character for the plot, they were less terrified of it. In fact, even as it tried to explain more of the plot and lore, they all screamed the same thing.

Sora/Kairi/Riku: 'WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK! WHERE ARE WE GOING NEXT!?'.

…suffice to say they weren't in good moods.

But before they could all lose their minds, they all decided to just take a break. Riku went off to have something to eat, Kairi would get her recipe book out and Sora just went for a nap.

Once they were all recharged and less furious, they joined back up and Kairi, surprisingly retaining the lore of Frampt, told them more of the lore.

Kairi: 'So, we've gotta go to Anor Londo, get the Lord Vessel to fulfil the prophecy and become the "Chosen Undead". You guys understand the basics?'.

Riku/Sora: 'Kill more bosses'.

Kairi: 'Bingo!'.

The trio fought their way through the Undead Parish once more, though it was much easier thanks to their level ups and new weapons…and Kairi's pyromancy. Especially her pyromancy. Some hollows murdered, Sora got his revenge on the black knight their first session and even got its sword, Riku…died to the archers again.

But! They finally arrived at Sen's Fortress, where they would have to fight their way through this fortress to enter the fabled city Anor Londo. Their first trials would come in the form man-serpents. Ugly and violent with spears and shields.

Riku killed one, and the combined effort of fire and steel from Kairi and Sora, which gave them all a strong sense confidence that perhaps, maybe, just maybe, this won't be as bad as Blighttown. That confidence died the moment Sora walked in, stepped on a slightly higher tile, which triggered a trap that fired arrows…and killed him.

Sora: 'GIVE ME A BREAK!'.

Kairi: '…respawn…'.

Attempt number 2.

Two dead snakes, one proper step, and they were inside the fortress. They came across a large room, which had pendulums of axes swing back and forth, just above a narrow bridge. So Kairi went first, running and dodging the pendulums and eventually she made it across.

Riku and Sora…not so much.

They were both struck by pendulums and were knocked down into the pit. They cursed, but then screamed when they saw the monsters just so happened to be Titanite Demons…three of them.

Riku: 'WHY!? WHY US!?'.

Sora: 'GOD HATES US!'.

So, while Sora and Riku were delaying their likely doomed ends, Kairi decided to venture onward and at least get an idea on what other fresh hells waited them. She climbed up the stairs to the next level where once again there was a narrow bridge, more pendulums and the cherry on top of this ice cream of misery, was a serpent warrior, throwing lightning at her.

Kairi: 'Oh yeah, this is *totally* fair!'.

It tossed lightning at her, which she dodged by hiding behind a wall. Kairi popped out and flung one of her new pyromancies at the lizard. A larger fire ball of doom that exploded in a huge AOE effect that destroyed the lizard in one hit.

Kairi: 'AH HA! Fire beats lightning sucker!'.

Now for the next trial, getting across the bridge. She gulped and carefully took her time, dodging the pendulums just barely. She then rolled into the next room, accidentally hitting a switch on the floor. With a terrified squeal she rolled again, dodging the arrows.

Kairi: 'ITS TRAP AFTER TRAP IN THIS PLACE!'.

Riku: 'AND EVERYTHING IS TRYING TO KILL US!'.

Sora: 'I WANNA GO BACK TO THE SWAMP OF UNHAPPINESS!'.

Kairi: 'By the way, how are you two doing?'.

Sora: 'WE'RE STILL ALIVE! SOMEHOW!'.

Riku: 'SORA! THERE'S A LADDER! CLIMB!'.

Kairi sighed in relief, least they didn't die yet and with luck, they can re-join her soon. There were so many traps and monsters trying to get them it was beginning to make her worry she was going to have a heart attack.

Sora: 'Where's this ladder taking us anyway?'.

Riku: 'I dunno, like we're back on the platform we fell from, but lets see what's up here'.

Kairi: 'Sure that's a good idea?'.

Riku: 'Yeah, how bad can it…wait…HOLY FUCK! GO BACK DOWN GO BACK DOWN GO BACK DOWN!'.

Sora: 'What, what's up there?'.

Riku: 'A FUCKING GIANT THAT WANTS US DEAD!'.

Sora: 'GOING DOWN NOW!'.

Kairi sighed in response to her boys' actions, of course there'd be a giant as an enemy. She decided to go further in the fortress, hoping she was lucky enough to avoid giants. She did spy a sleeping lizard but wisely decided not to interrupt its nap time, and just exited the door.

Kairi found herself on slope, and one look to her left, she sees a boulder come straight towards her. And it managed to hit her and knock her off the slope and onto another pathway, where two serpent warriors awaited for her.

Kairi: '…eep'.

She ran back from them and raced back up to the slope, just running past Sora and Riku, and raced up the hill and leapt into another door way. The boulder came rushing down and smashed into the two serpents…and her boys.

Riku: 'GOD DAMNIT KAIRI! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US THERE WAS A BOULDER HERE!?'.

Kairi: 'I was running from the snake people!'.

Riku: 'And now we've gotta start from the beginning again!'.

Kairi: 'Uh, umm, w-worry not guys! I'll keep exploring this place, that way I can warn you guys of the danger!'.

Sora: 'Hey, that's not a bad idea'.

Riku: 'Yeah right! She'll probably have easy from here on out!'.

Kairi rolled her eyes at that, and kept going on, hoping maybe things will be a tad bit more forgiving. Well it seemed like it, as a treasure chest lied before her.

Kairi: ' *GASP* Treasure!'.

However, the moment she touched it, arms sprung out from it, grabbed her and lodged her into its mouth, chomping on her. She screamed in terror and mashed the buttons to escape as its teeth chewed on her like a dog playing with a chew toy.

Kairi: 'BAD TREASURE! BAD TREASURE!'.

Be it divine or the devil's luck, Kairi SOMEHOW survived the surprise attack. But she rolled away the very moment it released her.

Kairi: 'You jerk! Try catch me now!'.

The chest suddenly sprung very long lanky legs…and then chased her.

Kairi screamed and just bolted from the room, running past every enemy, every room and, well everything really. She managed to SOMEHOW, evade the traps and reach the rooftop. On a very narrow bridge with the mimic chest STILL chasing her.

But as she ran down a turn of the broken bridge, suddenly a huge iron boulder fell upon the mimic, killing it. Kairi turned around to see its dead form disappearing and leaving behind its item, blinking. Kairi looked up the small tower to see a giant chucking iron boulders at…her.

And it did hit her…which knocked her off, and killed her…

Sora: '…so, how'd it go Kai?'.

Kairi: '…goodnight guys'.

She logged off, got off her console and sat on her bed, grabbed a pillow…and cried herself to sleep.

They have found a new hell…

A/N Longest one yet.

So next time it's the Iron Golem, and some of you are probably expecting Iron Tarkus, but nope. It'll be someone else~

As always, thanks for reading. Look forward to Anor Londo next time, where the rage will grow~ Stay awesome, but most importantly stay safe!


	6. Chapter 6

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 6

The Iron Golem and Anor Londo

Naminé: 'Kairi…I think you might have a problem…'.

Kairi: 'Nami, I understand I overreacted, I will take full responsibility for it. But! I am not giving up!'.

Naminé: 'Kairi, you literally cried yourself to sleep'.

Kairi: 'In my defence, I was doing so good but then bull dung happened and it was frustrating!'.

Naminé: 'You need to stop playing this game before you do something you'll regret or break!'.

Kairi: 'Never! I refuse to give up and surrender to this piece of electronic gaming entertainment!'.

Naminé: *Sighs* 'Well…will you at least move to Sora's place? Your screams keep me awake…'.

Relocation

Kairi: 'Seriously, if she played this she'd understand!'.

Riku: 'Yeah, might do her some good'.

Sora: 'Huh, never seen a raged Naminé before…'.

The trio started the game up, and found themselves right back outside of the fortress. Kairi allowed herself a small whine of frustration, but they bucked up and pressed on.

First they got past the two serpent knights at the start, sternly warned Sora to not step on the platform again, and came back to the narrow bridge of pendulums and misery. This time, all three managed to reach halfway but they were attacked by snake mage throwing lightning from above while there was but one soldier ahead of them.

Cleverly, Kairi fired a ball of fire at the solider, which triggered him to run at them…and apparently her attack caused it temporary amnesia because it seemed to forget the swing pendulum blades and it was knocked off the bridge…and died. Victory for triggers aside, the trio made it past the pendulums and managed to climb to the second bridge, with the lightning serpent waiting for them.

Sora: 'Burn it?'.

Kairi: 'Burn this slithering creep!'.

And true to her suggestion, Kairi incinerated the monster, and they crossed the bridge relatively safely…because Sora was hit by one pendulum, fell off the bridge and landed on the first one…and slipped off it and fell back into the pit. Miraculously, he survived.

Sora: 'NOT AGAIN!'.

Riku: 'Just run for the ladder buddy-

Sora: 'Too late….'.

**You Died**

Sora: 'DAMN IT!'.

Kairi: 'Do you want us to wait?'.

Sora: '…please?'.

Riku: 'Not gonna happen buddy, you're on your own!'.

Riku headed onwards, but tragically for the over confident boy, Riku seemingly forgot about the boulders…and paid dearly for it. He was smashed into and knocked off the ledge and died. Kairi stood there, deciding to wait in a corner for her friends to return.

Kairi: 'I'll wait for you guys.

Sora: 'Thank you'.

Riku: 'Fuck off!'.

Kairi giggled, but then her eyes shined when she spotted a summon sign near her. How she didn't notice it was beyond her but approaching it, it showed the name "Waterdudesinger464". Blinking, Kairi shrugged and summoned the visitor.

Out came a player doing the "Praise the Sun" gesture, wielding a scythe and wearing the leather armour. Then, they see in the Discord someone joining it.

?: 'Sup noobs!'.

Sora: 'Wait…Demyx!?'.

Demyx: 'Hello!'.

Riku: 'What are you doing?'.

Demyx: 'Offering my help! I usually leave my sign here to help out noobs!'.

Kairi: '…Can you help us get through this place?'.

Demyx: 'Sure thing little red'.

Demyx joins the party!

So after the two boys re-joined, Demyx lead them through the hill, stopping them from being run over the boulder again, and led them into the fog wall.

Demyx: 'Ok kiddies, we're gonna have to run once the boulder rolls down!'.

Once said boulder rolled, they all ran up the hill, Demyx entered first, then Kairi and Sora. Riku? He got to meet the boulder's cousin twice removed. Riku swore before entering the room, drinking his potion.

Demyx: 'Ok, so ya see that chest there? It's-

Kairi: 'EVIL!'.

She fired a huge ball of fire at the chest, which woke up the mimic and sprouting its legs and arms.

Demyx: 'Oh speaking from experience little red?'.

Kairi: '…shut up or I'll burn you'.

Demyx: 'Think the game's done that enough to ya~'.

Riku and Sora slaughtered the chest, and Kairi got the lightning spear. She squealed with glee, but then frowned when she compared it to her halberd.

Kairi: 'Hey Demyx?'.

Demyx: 'Yeah?'.

Kairi: 'Can you add elemental properties to weapons?'.

Demyx: 'Yeah, why?'.

Kairi: '…boys, I'm going to add fire to my weapons and burn everything in sight'.

Demyx: '…Axel would be so proud'.

After, they finally reached the top of the fortress, to which Demyx warned them about the giant throwing iron balls at them, that also explode upon impact, just for fun. They walked across the narrow bridges, evading the knights that want to kill them, the iron balls of misery that wished to crush them, fighting the games horrible jumping mechanics and trying to deal with the fact there was almost no bonfire to find.

Kairi: 'Demyx…where is the bonfire?'.

Demyx: 'Oh….about that…there are none'.

Sora/Kairi/Riku: '…what?'.

Demyx: 'Yup! So you just find the shortcut and you can go back to the entrance, and presto!'.

Sora: 'So, if we died…even getting all the way up here, there is no bonfire…which meant if we'd have to start all over again?'.

Demyx: '…yup'.

Kairi: 'Fight every single monster again, deal with the traps, the lack of a map, and lose our hard-earned souls?'.

Demyx: '…yes'.

Riku: 'EVERY. SINGLE. WE. DIE?'.

Demyx: '…yeah'.

Suddenly, the trio went mute on Discord, leaving Demyx alone.

Demyx: 'G-guys?'.

Next thing he knew, there were screams of pure rage that startled him out of his seat. He looked around for the sound, but it wasn't coming from his TV.

Demyx: 'The heck is that!?'.

Twilight Town

As Roxas and the gang sat upon the Clocktower, eating ice cream, chatting away with each other…but that all halted when they heard the screams of rage.

Roxas: 'Huh? The heck is that?'.

Xion: 'It sounds like Isa after Axel used the last of his shampoo…just more enraged …'.

Isa: 'It sounds familiar…'.

Axel: 'Think its Seifer losing again to Hayner?'.

Roxas: '…hey Xion?'.

Xion: 'Yeah?'.

Roxas: 'Do you, feel a lot of rage suddenly?'.

Xion: 'Yeah…should I be worried?'.

Land of Departure

Ventus: *Carrying Chirithy* 'Hey, Aqua?'.

Aqua: 'Yeah Ven…it's like 2 in the morning'.

Ventus: 'C-Could I stay with you? The screams…'.

Aqua: 'Right…hop in'.

Ven hops in…and sees Terra with her.

Terra: '…shut up'.

Aqua: '…guys, hold me please'.

They all bundled up and hugged, eyes wide awake, sleep never coming back to them.

Terra: '…Ya know, that rage was built up partially because of you'.

Aqua: 'And now I lie awake in fear that they'll figure it out, and the next worldly scream you'll hear will be mine!'.

Disney Castle

Donald: *Drinking milk in a vain attempt to fall asleep*

Goofy: 'Gwarsh Donald, I know we'll always have Sora in our hearts, but I didn't think we'd hear him'.

Donald: 'Tell me about it…'.

Home

Naminé: *Glaring at her drawing, blank* *Sigh*

Naminé: '…time to invest in some ear plugs…again'.

Destiny Trio

Demyx: '…so are you three ready for this?'.

The trio, still seething with rage, just growled "yes".

Hesitantly, the four came to the fog wall, which Demyx gulped when the trio were silent.

Kairi: *Deep inhale and exhaled* 'My throat hurts, we'll just get this over with'.

They entered the battle, and came face to face with the Iron Golem, far larger than the giant Riku and Sora encountered yesterday, with a large axe.

Sora: 'Okay, Demyx, how do fight this thing?'.

Demyx: 'Pfft, just leave it to me kiddies, I've beaten this thing dozens of times!'.

Demyx ran in and managed to hack away at its ankles…until the golem grabbed him. And was then tossed off the tower…which killed him.

Demyx: '…OOPS…'.

Kairi: 'BEATEN it dozens of times!'.

Demyx: '…I-I went easy on it!'.

Riku: 'Oh forget it! Let's just get this over with!'.

He and Sora ran into first while Kairi stayed behind and pelted the monster with fire while they hacked the ankles and legs of the monster. Surprisingly, this boss…wasn't that difficult. Because of it's huge size and wide arc attacks, the boys could evade its attack and stay close to it without being attacked. Plus with Kairi's fire and arrows, she could keep harming it even if the boys had to stay back from its ruthless attacks.

Heck, they even managed to force it back to the edge, and with two full heavy charged attacks from the two warriors, they actually knocked the monster off the tower…and won.

They looked at the fallen giant as it vanished and gave them its souls. They blinked, but then spotted a glowing sphere. Curiosity winning over their common sense, they all touched the sphere…and they received visitors.

Pale skinned gargoyles arrived and each of them plucked the heroes up, while their characters are perfectly fine with being kidnapped by Gollum's pale cousins. Over the mountains they were taken, into the beautiful (and probably brightest part of the game) city of Anor Londo.

They were dropped off upon a tall flight of stairs, before them a large cathedral stood before them.

Sora: 'GUYS! THE SUN!'.

Kairi: 'Its so pretty~'.

Riku: 'What a real cheer upper'.

They climbed down the stairs and came across the sentinel, which turned around to face them. The trio blinked, a horrible realization.

Sora: 'T-These are the regular enemies, aren't they?'.

Kairi: *Quickly checks the wiki* 'Yup'.

Riku: 'Okay, Sora, we bite the ankles, Kairi you burn it!'.

Sora: 'Our go to strategy!'.

So that plan worked on one…but then when they entered the building on their left, there were two. Granted it was much rougher and because there were two, the boys did get a few nasty hits but won out in the end. A few souls received, some treasure that gave them materials for upgrading their gear. But they all remembered a crucial fact, they haven't seen a frigging bonfire yet.

But luckily, the next room had a bonfire for them!

Sora: 'GIMME GIMME GIMME!'.

Kairi: 'Oh, I haven't such a beautiful sight since that sunset two days ago!'.

Riku: 'Oh thank god…now we can level up and NOT worry about dying then going back to start!'.

That boost of cheer and reinforcing their gear and bodies, they moved on towards the spiral staircase before them, figuring that's the next course of action to progress the story…despite only one of them having a clue to the plot.

However, a familiar monster landed before them. The gargoyle from the first bell tower, baring down upon the.

Kairi: 'Okay, we've beaten two, we can add a third one to the list!'.

Luckily this was easier than the boss, and Riku even cut its tail off and obtained the weapon while Kairi got the helmet.

Riku: 'FINALLY! A new weapon!'.

Kairi: 'Helmet!'.

Sora: 'SOULS!'.

They climbed down the spiral stair case and found no other pathway across the gap, until Kairi pointed out they would have the climb the buttress and reached the balcony and entered the building through the broken window, where they find themselves on the high rafters, which Kairi said "for the love of god don't fall".

As careful as possibly, they had to walk on the very thin and narrow rafters, but on the plus side, there is no need to worry about the enemies…right?

Sora was suddenly attacked by a white ninja like cloaked human, who threw knives at him. But Sora ran towards it and cut them down.

Sora: 'Ya know if I could do everything I could do here in the game this wouldn't be an issue'.

Riku: 'Yeah, kinda weird how flimsy and weak you are without Keyblades and magic huh?'.

Kairi: 'Uh…yeah, totally…'.

Onwards they went, Sora kept his shield up Kairi had her bow ready and Riku, just carried fire bombs. So far most of the white chapel follows kept the same strategy as the previous enemies, throwing knives at them from a distance and when not from a distance they'd just rush in and attack them. Thankfully when they did get too close, they were already wounded by Kairi and Riku, their attacks bounced off Sora's shield and he brought them down.

Sora: 'Phil's training was easier than this!'.

Kairi: 'I'm kinda surprised that we're having more trouble balancing these rafters then we did fight the boss'.

Finally, they managed to arrive to the end of the rafters, jumped off onto the second floor and found themselves facing another fog wall. Groans were had, dreading another boss fight so soon. Regardless, they walked through it, and found no boss, but the spiral staircase again. This time with a lever!

One clock-wise turn later, they lowered the stairs to connect the bridge which gave them access to the large building ahead of them. They let out breaths of relief, but then they were attacked by another gargoyle…and slaughtered it.

They climbed up the large staircase before the cathedral, fought off two huge guards again, but the door was locked. So, they turned to the right and figured the only way in was to find another pathway. They came to a ledge where the same bat creatures that kidnapped them from before were there, and instead of kidnapping, they resorted to murder the trio this time.

Kairi burns, Riku chops, and Sora slices, and they win another fight.

Coming across another buttress, they spotted two silver knights on each side of the midway structure, on the balconies with much larger bows than Kairi carried.

Sora: 'Guys, I don't like this…'.

Kairi: 'W-Well, how bad can those arrows be?'.

To test it, Sora stood forward, shield raised up to block the attack. Yet when the arrow hit, not only did it destroy his guard, but the sheer force knocked Sora off the buttress, and killed him.

Riku: '…can your arrows do that?'.

Kairi: 'Nope…they can't'.

So the trio face a new trial, can they manage to surmount this new hell and get the Lord Vessel?

Without breaking their consoles?

A/N: Whoo! Done and done for the week!

So, the idea of the Aqua and duo scene was made by Ima Nonyme, thanks again for the help! Big thanks to everyone's helped shape the story and taken the time to review my work.

Thanks for reading, stay awesome but more importantly stay safe!


	7. Chapter 7

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 7

Twice the Bosses, Twice the Pain!

Recap, the trio had finally arrived to the fabled city of Anor Londo after several trials, rage, tears and plenty of murder. Before them, within the beauty of the city, lies the Lord Vessel, the plot item of plot-ness.

But…new dungeon meant new enemies and gimmicks…and plenty of ways to die.

Take, for example, the two silver knights with bows and arrows that shared the power rivalling a ballista for men. They had both distance from the party, and plenty of options to when to shoot. The buttress itself was clear of any obstruction for them, which gave them plenty of space for them to hit Sora and co.

So…their plans?

Kairi: 'IF MY FIRE BALLS HAD LONGER RANGER YOU'D BE SCREWED!'.

She got an arrow in response, which made her squeak and run behind cover.

Riku: 'OK…so how are we gonna do this? We're like targets for them in the open!'.

Sora: 'Just respawning there…feel free to brain storm'.

Kairi: 'We could try and pick them off? Problem is…it'll take a while'.

Sora: 'What's "a while"?'.

Deciding to test her theory, Kairi fired one arrow after some calculation of range and distance, she managed to hit one knight…and did at least twelve damage, in which case tickling them would probably have done more damage.

And she also was sniped again.

Kairi: '…We're screwed…'.

Sora: 'NEVER! WE CAN DO THIS!'.

Sora ran up the buttress, shield up high, running like a madman as they fired at him. Sora evaded and dodged around the attacks until her finally reached the ledge and ran towards the knight on side ledge on his right. Sora managed to stand before him…but he was then hit by an arrow behind him and fell to his doom once more.

Sora: '…Never mind'.

Riku raged and groaned while Kairi rubbed her temples, sighing heavily. Sora tried…

Riku: 'This is BULLSHIT! How the hell are we supposed to fight frigging ballista powered bows and arrows!?'.

Sora: 'Hit them hard and kill them?'.

Riku: 'HOW!?'.

Kairi: 'Maybe, if we all rushed in, you two split and attack the knights while provide literally firing cover?'.

Sora: 'Genius!'.

Riku: 'What have a got to lose?'.

Sora: 'Mind and soul?'.

Kairi: '… *Sighs*'.

They rushed up the buttress as the knights fired the heavy arrows of doom upon them all, but luckily the bows managed to reach the top of the ledge, Riku rushed for the one that previously slew Sora while the latter rushed down to left and down the other buttress, the knight had no time to switch weapons as Sora slashed at it, knocking it off the buttress.

Riku, didn't do as well.

But instead of the knight killing him like it did to Sora, Riku accidentally rolled too far to the left and fell off the ledge. He swore madly, but at the very least his death was not in vain for Kairi managed to dash right in and slashed the knight, knocking it off the ledge to join Riku in the abyss of death.

Kairi: 'Your "heroic" sacrifice was not in vain Riku!'.

Sora: 'And he says *I'M* the clumsy one!'.

Riku: 'FUCK OFF YA CLOWN SHOED JERK!'.

Regardless, the two survivors walked on the ledge, rounding a corner until they found a balcony and an entrance inside the building. They jumped down and entered and found a bonfire. And Solaire. They lit the bonfire and awaited for Riku to arrive…and no, he didn't ask for their help.

So…they were gonna be waiting…

One hour and six deaths later…

Kairi: 'Aww~ My little Pikachu says hi~'.

Sora: 'Hey Riku? Did you make it yet?'.

Another scream of rage answered his question.

Sora: '…sorry for asking'.

Riku: 'GOD! FUCK THOSE KNIGHTS! FUCK THEM AND THEIR STUPID FUCKING BULLSHIT ARROWS AND THEIR STUPID TINY HELMETS!'.

To say Riku was upset…well its almost like saying Kairi's hatred for Mimics was a minor irritation.

FINALLY, after two more additional deaths, Riku finally arrived to the duo of misfits and was respawned. If they could see his face in IRL, they could only assume it'd be a face of such rage and hatred even Vanitas would say: "Jesus Christ buddy, lighten up!".

Kairi: '…s-so….'.

Riku: 'Shh…just, go'.

In the hall way, the party found several paths and options so they decide (unthinking) to split up and see if they can find which path would lead them closer to the plot item of plot. In one room, Riku encountered a silver knight wielding a spear, and narrowed his eyes.

Too say the room looked like a bloody crime scene is a gross understatement…

Sora decided to enter a door on the left and found himself in a single room with only a fire place. A sense of curiosity washed over him and he, for what ever baffling reason, stuck the fireplace. Too his delight, it was an illusion!

…who ever thought up "illusionary fireplace"?

Anyways, inside he walked down a flight of stairs, entering a pitch black room with five treasure chests! Luck him…or was it?

The one chest that remained alone from the other caught his eye though, and his memories of Kairi's terror rang alarm bells. So he did the sensible thing and smacked the chest. To his credit, it was indeed a mimic, but before it sprung legs, Sora mercilessly murdered it, gaining a lot of souls and even a club.

He was never going to use it but hey, he had it.

Elsewhere, Kairi climbed up the spiral stair case and eventually found herself on the rooftop, melted a silver knight and a few more knights on said rooftop. Kairi went down a staircase, entered a room and found another room near it, but it was closed. Blinking, she opened it and inside found…

Five silver knights.

Kairi: O.O

She immediately ran back, now being chased by the red head hungry knights who really want her dead. She ran back to the rooftops, seeing Riku coming up.

Kairi: 'RIKU! SAVE ME!'.

Riku: 'From wha- OH MY GOD!'.

Kairi: 'THE SILVER KNIGHTS WANT MY BOOTY!'.

Sora: 'OH HELL NO!'.

Sora suddenly ran past her, wielding a massive maul in hand and crushed one knight. He also carried a shield as huge as himself, blocking their attacks easily. He decimated them all, barely taking any damage through the fight.

Sora: 'No one is touching Kairi's butt!'.

The two just stared at him, a new set of armour and weapons that looked equal to it.

Riku: 'WHAT…THE FUCK…ARE YOU…WEARING!?'.

Sora: 'OH! This the "Havel set", I found it earlier! Its super durable and tough!'.

Kairi: 'You look like a mobile rock…'.

Sora: 'Yeah, pretty cool huh?'.

Riku: '…lucky bastard…'.

Sora: 'Onwards!'.

But as Kairi and Riku jogged Sora, walked…really, really, slowly.

Sora: 'Don't worry about me Kai, I'm on my way'.

Kairi: 'Sora, how heavy is that armour?'.

Sora: 'Uh, well…its heavier than it should be?'.

Kairi: 'Take it off Sora'.

Riku: 'Jesus Kairi, save for the bedroom!'.

Kairi: 'THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU DARN WELL KNOW IT!'.

Later!

They entered the building once again, climbed down a flight of stairs and found themselves fighting more of the silver knights, though without that much trouble this time. There were two treasures chests, which Kairi backed away from as far as possible, fire balls at the ready any sneaky mimics. However, after two pokes from the boys, she opened them.

Both she and Riku got the silver knights armour sets, to which they both cheered with glee and equipped them, they were lighter than their previous gears and were better for combat. Inside the main building, they circled around the place and reached the other side of the great hall and climbed down more flights of stairs. They came to a giant, who was a blacksmith.

Kairi had never heard Sora or Riku sigh in such relief.

She bought one of those giant arrows and bows, smiling sinisterly, and said she wanted to test something out.

And she returned to the buttress from the start of their session, took aim, and sniped the silver knights, knocking THEM off the ledges and buttresses.

Kairi: 'YEAH! YEAH! HOW DOES IT FEEL!? HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE SNIPED!?'.

She cleared her throat and coughed, composing herself.

Kairi: '…moving on'.

Inside the hallway once more, they struck down the two giant wardens and came to the fog wall. Taking deep breaths each, they phased through the fog wall. Inside, could see a very obese looking man in gold, the size of a house, wielding a hammer almost as big as he.

Sora: 'I think someone needs to go on a diet'.

Riku: 'Ha! He looks slow, we can totally handle him!'.

Then, the second boss entered.

A smaller one wearing lion like armour, with an equally awesome looking spear. The two feared bosses of the fanbase, Dragon Slayer Ornstein and Executioner Smough.

Kairi: 'TWO BOSSES AT ONCE!?'.

Sora: 'OH COME ON!'.

The fight had begun, with the fat one charging at them, while the other dashed towards them. They split up but Sora was a tad bit too slow for the spear man and was pierced in the stomach and lifted upwards in the air. He was then shocked and killed by it.

Sora: 'I'm dead!'.

Riku: 'WE JUST STARTED THE FIGHT!'.

One down, two to go.

Kairi attacked the spear wielding knight, weaving in and out of range to hit it. Though it spun around and thrust its spear at her, hitting and knocking her back. Kairi whined in frustration, before she slowly got back up to be smacked by the spear, which killed her.

Kairi: 'NO fair!'.

Riku: 'GUYS SERIOUSLY!?'.

Then Riku turned to see the fat man lifting its hammer above him.

Riku: '…well fu-

**You Died. **

Round 2!

This time the trio kept their distances from the fat one, while Kairi was taking shots at the dragon slayer Ornstein. His quickness and long range made the fight difficult for Kairi, due to her spells taking some wind up time.

Smough, thought slower, exceeded the dragon slayer's attack damage, almost killing Sora in one shot. He barely had any time to heal himself before he rolled aside from a sweeping hammer. Riku was attacking behind the fat executioner while his best friend acted like a beating dummy, dealing damage. But that wouldn't last as Ornstein swiped at him, and knocked him aside.

Riku: 'Kairi! Would for freaking burn him already!?'.

Kairi: 'I'm trying! But that obese man is trying to-

She never finished her sentence, for Smough smashed his hammer upon her, and given Kairi's smaller vitality compared to the boys, it was a one shot kill.

Kairi: '…I blame you for my death Riku'.

Riku: 'Invest in vitality!'.

Kairi: 'Never!'.

Riku sadly didn't last much longer either, he was skewered by Ornstein and tossed aside after. So Sora remained, the prime target of the two. That was fair, right?

Sora rolled under Smough's hammer, dodged Ornstein's spear swipes and managed to get a few hits in. In fact, Sora was doing so well he got them both on low health that all he had to keep up was his dodge and strike tactics.

But he underestimated Ornstein's speed…and was skewered by his spear, lifted up and bathed in lightning.

He didn't survive that…

**You Died. **

Round 3!

Kairi: 'This is so frustrating! If that fat man doesn't kill us, that speedy spear jerk will!'.

Riku: 'Hang on, what if we killed just one first, then focused on the other?'.

Sora: 'That way we'll have less of a hassle! Genius!'.

With a new plan in mind, the trio focused solely on Ornstein, Kairi burning the dragon slayer while Sora and Riku kept on the offense, leaving little space between them and the boss. Smough would often attack Kairi, but for every spell she fired Kairi ran across the field to dodge and keep her distance from the obese killer.

With one final swing of Riku's claymore, Ornstein fell to him.

Kairi: 'WA-HOO! One boss down! Smough is gonna be easy as pie!'.

Sora: 'He does look like he likes pie'.

But unfortunately, a cutscene played out during the fight. Ornstein was then smashed to paste by Smough of all people, but in turn, he gained his fallen "comrade's power, now his hammer was channelling lightning.

Which meant…the boss just got a LOT harder.

The trio rolled away from it, Sora lifted his shield and despite using Havel's shield, Sora was knocked aside with half his health remaining.

Sora: 'KAIRI FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STAY OUT OF HIS RANGE!'.

Kairi: 'CAN DO!'.

Riku fared no better as one hit almost destroyed him, only a sliver of health remaining, so little in fact you'd have to glare at the screen to even see it.

Riku: 'I hate this thing…'.

Kairi flung fire after fire at the giant while Sora used his shield to just keep his health from depleting entirely from every hit while striking the large obese monster man. Riku resorted to archery due to the fact he possessed no more healing potions, which meant Sora was their last line of defence against the big man.

Sora: 'Guys, really could use some healing please!'.

Kairi: 'I'm out of healing! Kindly stab it faster Sora!'.

Riku: 'I am literally a sneeze away from dying!'.

Smough brought its hammer down upon Sora, near killing him, but its slow movement left it open for Kairi to throw her most powerful pyromancy spell. Great Fire ball and tossed it at the executioner. The attack annihilated what remained of Smough's health, which meant…

Ornstein was revived, killed Smough and took his power and turned into a giant with two gigantic spears!

Nah, he died. They won.

Kairi: '…PYROMANCY FOR THE WIN!'.

Sora: 'WE BEAT THE FAT GUY AND KITTY KNIGHT!'.

Riku: '…Seriously?'.

After their cheers, the trio entered a lift that carried them up to the next floor and found themselves standing before a door. Riku opened it, and entered the room, where they met Gwynevere, daughter of Gwyn.

Kairi/Sora: O.O

Riku: OwO

Riku: 'LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THOSE THINGS!'.

Sora: 'Wow…even Tifa would be jealous…'.

Kairi: '…'.

Slowly, Kairi raised her bow…

Sora: 'KAIRI!'.

Kairi: 'She's evil!'.

Sora: 'HOW do you know that!?'.

Kairi: '…L-Look at her!'.

Riku: 'I am! And enjoying it!'.

Sora: 'We need the Lord Vessel from her!'.

Kairi pouted, but relented, knowing he had a strong point. So the giant lady explained more lore stuff to them, handed them the Lord Vessel, and told them blah blah blah stuff. Sora beamed, knowing they were closer to finally ending this game.

Riku: 'So, what other fire spells do you have? Just wondering?'.

Sora: 'Yeah actually, you've just used a lot of fire balls'.

Kairi: 'Oh, actually I haven't used this one yet. Firestorm?'.

Riku: 'Lets see it!'.

Kairi then performed the spell, erecting several pillars of fire around her. She beamed with glee as Riku looked at her in awe. But Sora?

Sora: 0.0

Sora: 'K-Kairi…'.

They looked behind her, seeing one of the pillars erected was right beneath Gwynevere, which killed her. Her body vanished into nothing, and the light of the sun disappeared into darkness. They all raced outside to see the city of Anor Londo was now in an eternal night, and darkness…

Kairi/Sora/Riku: O.O

Sora: '…That…can't be good'.

Kairi: 'I did a bad'.

Riku: 'Uhh guys…'.

And now the Dark Moon Knights were now hunting for Kairi, six in total.

Kairi: '…Ummm…sorry for killing your giant booby lady?'.

They unsheathed their weapons.

Sora: '…Hey guys wanna go back to the Firelink shrine!?'.

Riku: 'YEAH LETS GO SEE FRAMPT!'.

Kairi: 'Leaving Anor Londo now!'.

They managed to find a bonfire and teleport back to the Firelink, where the next steps in their journey would unfold.

A/N: Managed to get this done while waiting for mother at the hairdressers!

So I'll be posting another one this week, so that'll be two chapters every week until we're done with this game.

Thanks for reading, stay awesome but more importantly stay safe!


	8. Chapter 8

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 8

New Londo…

Kairi: 'I think…we should all take the time, to reflect on our choices…and be mature enough to say, "I made a mistake", and I believe, if we all come to an agreement'.

Riku: 'Oh for god sake! *YOU* fucked up! You destroyed the booby lady, brought the darkness to Anor Londo, and NOW we have a cult trying to kill us!'.

Kairi: 'W-Well! I believe in my stance she was an evil being that was using the light to trick people! Therefore, she was evil!'.

Riku: 'You were jealous because her boobs were bigger than yours! And out of spite, you wanted her dead!'.

Kairi: '*Gasp! * HOW DARE YOU! You think I'M that shallow!?'.

Riku: 'I think you're that vain!'.

Sora had been incredibly quiet during the whole argument, watching them argue back and forth while he was upgrading his stuff in his world. So far, he managed to upgrade his drake sword to full along with Havel's shield, and the Havel armour set. He used what souls he managed to save up and used the boss souls to gain him a tower full of souls to upgrade his character.

Now, he was literally a breathing tank. Except he can now run!

Kairi and Riku were supposed to do the same, but…

Riku: 'Because of you, we're gonna be invaded more regularly than Roxas eats Ice Cream!'.

Kairi: 'OH like you're a shining example of humility!? Who's died more often because of their cockiness?'.

Riku: 'Me but that's not the point!'.

Kairi: 'THAT IS ENTIRELY THE POINT!'.

Eventually Sora returned the Firelink Shrine to wait for the other two, who were still bickering. In the end, he was dragged in.

Riku: 'Sora what do you think?'.

Sora: 'Well, Kairi has one advantage over the giant booby lady'.

Kairi: '…which is?'.

Sora: 'Yours are real :3'.

There was a distinct silence between the trio, no one had dared to say a word as Sora's words hung in the air. Then, Kairi went mute on her side, to which Sora began to panic. However, he got a text from Naminé.

Naminé: 'Kairi's rolling on the floor hugging that plushie squealing like a kid! What happened!?'.

Riku: 'Sora complimented her assets'.

Naminé: 'Ahh, smooth'.

One Squeal Session later…

Riku: 'Ya done?'.

Kairi: 'For now, anyways! Our new goal is to find the Lord Souls, then we can replace Gwyn and restore the fire!'.

Riku: '…I'm still picking the evil ending'.

Sora: 'Aren't they the both evil endings?'.

Kairi: 'A matter of perspective! But the point is, we need to find them, kill them, and take their souls!'.

Sora: 'Oh good…simple stuff!'.

Riku: 'Hardly...'.

Sora: 'So where do we go first?'.

Kairi: 'Well according to the Wiki, we have to go back to Anor Londo-

Sora/Riku: 'NEXT!'.

Kairi: 'I love you boys. Other than that, we can go back to Lost Izalith'.

Riku: 'Where's that?'.

Kairi: 'Hell…remember that hell in spider lady's place?'.

Sora: 'NEXT!'.

Kairi: 'Okay, we have New Londo Ruins, its right below us'.

Riku: 'Wait, New Londo…like a new Anor Londo?'.

Kairi: 'No no, its an… *does a quick wiki look* Uhh… Basically we go there next!'.

Sora: 'So whose there?'.

Kairi: 'The Four Kings…'.

New Londo Ruins

After one very long elevator ride, to which they were all checking their gear, they finally arrived to New Londo at long last. A city that was flooded with crumbling buildings, and likely scary monsters.

Sora: 'This place is slightly less depressing than Blighttown'.

Riku: 'Yeah…least there's no poison swamps!'.

Kairi: 'Y-Yeah…but there's bound to be SOMETHING super spooky!'.

They explored the ruined town, crossing the flimsy wooden bridges that were drenched with the waters, so far none of the undead had attacked them, but when they came to a section of the ruins surrounded by water, that's where the curveballs came in the form of ghosts.

Kairi: 'SPOOKY!'.

Sora: 'Now what!? Can we even hit ghosts!?'.

Kairi: 'BURN THEM ALL!'.

Kairi threw balls of fire at them, which went through the ghosts unharmed and hit a wall.

Kairi: '…eep'.

Riku: 'OKAY! So we can't hurt them, burn them or tell them to fuck off! What now!?'.

Sora: 'Kairi! Wiki us!'.

Kairi: 'Shamelessly cheating away! *Quick glance* We need cursed weapons, or use the Transient Curse to hurt them!'.

Sora: 'Oh this thingy?'. *Shows item and uses it*

Kairi: 'Now murder them…again!'.

Sora ran in with a cry, slaughtering the ghosts again before Riku joined him and Kairi sneaked past them all to find what the next passage they needed to explore. But unfortunately, Kairi forgot ghosts were, ya know, ghosts, they can traverse through walls and floors. Which meant…ambushes.

Kairi: 'GUYS I'M BEING GHOSTED TO DEATH! HELP!'.

She was then slashed and killed before the two boys could even run a foot towards her.

**You Died**

Kairi: '…guys, watch out for ambushes…'.

So, while Kairi respawns and makes her back to the boys, they decided to go explore the place for her and take out any ghosts that remained just to make their lives a tad bit easier. The entered the first Square Tower, where they ambushed by a total of six ghosts. One managed to grab Riku, whom mashed the hell out of the trigger buttons, but his efforts did naught for him…

In short, he died.

Sora, all alone, managed to dash out away from the spooky scary ghosts and found himself a fog wall. With a huge groan, he pushed past the wall and found himself to be on a cat walk that had clearly seen better days. Walking around the ledges and avoiding the attacks of the spooks, Sora finally managed to reach the second Square Tower.

Sora: 'Okie dokie, I'm gonna wait for you two here'.

Kairi: 'How many spooks are there now?'.

Sora: 'Sooo many…'.

Twenty Minutes Later…

They passed through a door, finding a staircase on the left with a other door that led into a room. Inside was another room, with a Banshee and likely, traps.

Sora: '…can we ignore this room?'.

Kairi: 'Yes, yes we ca- wait…no, no we can't. Plot item ahead'.

Sora: 'AWW!'.

Riku: 'Hang on…I've an idea'.

He entered first, but when the Banshee began to attack him, Riku quickly ran back as the others began to spawn. Catching on, Kairi equipped her halberd, used the transient curse and once all the ghosts were in their spot, she did the heavy attack and spun around, killing them all in one swing.

Sora: '…oh'.

Kairi: 'Huh…that was…a lot easier than I thought'.

Riku: 'HA! See!? I knew what I was doing!'.

Kairi/Sora: 'Right…'.

So after that, they found a ladder in the fireplace and climbed to the roof, where they met Ingward, the Red Wizard!

Kairi: ' *GASP* Will we get to meet-

Riku: 'Gandalf isn't in this series!'.

Kairi: '…aww…'.

Lore aside, he gave them all the Key to the Seal where they could face the next boss, aka the Four Kings. They returned to the trap room, exited the first door and then headed left. They trailed on the path until they found a wall with a hole. Jumping through it and after some rooftop hopping and intrusions, they managed to find their way to the Spiral Staircase Tower.

They climbed up the stairs and found a door with a corpse inside it. Kairi gained a new bow with some large arrows. Nothing else to find they went back down to see a locked gate with a lever beside it. Riku used the Key to the Seal and opened the massive gates, where the water was freed from the city. The large gates further into the city opened, allowing the water to poor through into the Valley of the Drakes. New Londo Ruins lower section had been cleared of water, allowing the trio to explore deeper to find the Four Kings.

The trio entered an elevator and it brought them down to Lower New Londo Ruins (there's a mouthful). They could see on their right the large doors opened to reveal the Valley of the Drakes to be explored for them…but they weren't gonna be doing that today. No instead they were gonna face something potentially worse than a dragon.

A darkwraith knight slowly rose from the ground, and the very moment it turned its red eyes on them, they knew what to do.

Riku: 'BUMRUSH HIM!'.

Kairi: 'BURN THE NOT BATMAN!'.

Kairi cried with joy when she could harm the knight with fire, singing with joy as she flung balls of fire upon it. The fire goddess was back in action! They managed to power through the battle, slaying the knight, which gave them a slew of souls, they went left to another ruined doorway and went up the stairs to arrive to a wooden structure. On their right they entered a room, killed another dark wraith and found a fog wall.

Kairi: 'Boss battle?'.

Sora: 'I hope not! We haven't found a bonfire yet!'.

With gulps, they entered the fog wall.

Thankfully, there wasn't a boss fight, but more to explore. The trio sighed together.

Kairi: 'Where the heck are we going?'.

Sora: 'Where is the bonfire!?'.

Riku: 'We haven't even found the boss yet!'.

After several more explorations, several monsters, loot, back tracking, they eventually walked on a pathway until they came to the edge of the platform, they had to jump down. They found themselves in shallow water and proceeded forward until they climbed up a ramp and came face to face with ANOTHER dark wraith.

They didn't even bother with fighting it properly, Kairi burned it and the boys fired arrows at it, killed it and moved on. Finally, what seemed like forever, they returned to the second Square Tower on the lower floor, they found a fog wall at long last before a huge door. Which meant, the boss was just up ahead.

Riku: 'Well shit…we've found the boss, but there's no bonfires'.

Kairi: 'Well…maybe, if we're careful, we can take them down in the first fight!'.

Sora: 'Yeah, we'll just be SUPER careful!'.

They all passed through the fog wall, and came to a ledge. Below them was nothing but pure darkness. They all looked at each other, checked their gear and equipped what healing and buff items they could carry.

Sora: 'I'll go first'.

Sora took the plunge and fell for what felt like forever…but then…he died.

Sora: 'Huh!? I'm dead!'.

Riku: 'Wait what!? How!?'.

Kairi and Riku tried, but they found themselves facing the same fate as their beloved Sora, and died.

Kairi: 'YOU GOT TO BE KID-

They all respawned back to the Firelink Shrine…

Riku: 'What the…?'.

Sora: 'You have to be kidding me! All that and we didn't even get to fight the boss?'.

Kairi: 'Guys…all our souls…'.

And they all shared a moment of silence…before they all cried in rage…

Next Day!

The trio had spent a total of four hours of trying to figure out how to enter the boss room, each one ending in failure and rage. Eventually after the twentieth attempt, they gave up and called it a night. Granted they managed to get plenty of souls and even reclaimed their own, it still didn't help the fact they didn't cross off at least one DS boss off their list.

Terra: 'What happened this time? Got invaded again?'.

Aqua: 'NO THEY DIDN'T! I mean…what's up guys?'.

Sora: 'We're losing our minds…'.

Terra: 'I've noticed, what's going on?'.

Kairi: 'We've been stuck on New Londo Ruins for hours, we can't access the boss room and we've tried twenty times'.

Riku: 'Plus side we got really good at murdering those dark knight freakshows'.

Aqua: 'Oh that place is so annoying! No bonfires and plenty of crap! What part of the boss are you guys having trouble with?'.

Kairi: 'We'd tell you if we could actually fight then darn thing!'.

Sora: 'Every time we jumped into the Abyss we keep dying!'.

Aqua: 'OOOH I know what the problem is!'.

Riku/Kairi/Sora: 'YOU DO!?'.

Aqua: 'Yes! See you need the Covenant of Artorias Ring, which you get off Great Wolf Sif after you beat him of course!'.

The trio looked at Aqua with stars in their eyes, before hugging her tightly.

Riku/Kairi/Sora: 'Thank you!

Aqua beamed, but when she looked at Terra, he gave her a smug smirk and mouthed "Guilty".

Aqua: 'N-N-No worries guys…'.

Terra: 'But if you guys are gonna fight Sif, you may as well do the DLC that came with it'.

Kairi: 'OOH, might as well since we could do with some extra souls and some new stuff'.

Sora: 'More stuff!'.

Little did the trio know, the DLC will bring them more than just rage…

A/N:

…I hate New Londo…

Thanks for reading this shorter one, sorry it wasn't very good. I ran into a few walls, but least its over now. So next time, they will face Dark Souls' equivalent Guts and discover Sif's past. How will they react to the cutscene?

One way to find out :3.

Thanks for reading, stay awesome, but most importantly stay safe!


	9. Chapter 9

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 9

The a-bitch maker

A/N: Yes, we're doing the DLC first. Now I know a few of you haven't played the games but those who did, yes I know they'd have to get the "Broken Pendent" item to access the DLC, but for the sake of this story, as I've already broken the multiplayer rule, I thought I may as well just go with it. We good? Great, let the rage ensue!

Riku: 'I legit forgot that the game got DLC years ago…'.

Sora: 'Surprised it just got one, maybe they weren't happy with it?'.

Kairi: 'Quickie question, how hard do you think this is gonna be?'.

Sora: 'Ruthless?'.

Riku: 'Enraging difficulty?'.

Kairi: '…fair enough'.

They returned to the Darkwood Basin, fought the hydra (if you call spamming arrows and fire balls fighting), they reached the spot where the DLC is supposed to take place, where a dark portal stayed.

Kairi: 'Oh joy…it's a dark portal of unhappiness…'.

Riku: 'Place your bets, dark monster hand grabs us and takes us to somewhere, or tentacles',

Kairi: 'PLEASE be the hand…'.

Sora: 'Bad touch, or worse touch?'.

Riku groaned in response to the two, and they approached the portal and result? A dark hand grabs the trio and yanked them all inside the portal. So the bet was won…despite only one of them making it…

Anyways gambling confusion aside, they found themselves in a garden, and ahead of them was a bonfire.

Kairi: '…why is there a bonfire so early in the DLC…?'.

Sora: 'Maybe it's just their way of saying welcome to the DLC?'.

Riku: Or to tell us we're all gonna die so often they may as well give us a starting point!'.

After the bonfire was lit, they walked out of the cave, and came to a large garden, though it looked a lot more like an arena than a regular garden. When they stood in the arena…the first boss arrived.

A large winged white lion with wings, roared and charged towards them.

Riku: 'A BOSS!? WE JUST GOT HERE!'.

They all ran away from it. But for whatever reason the lion attacked Sora first. The boy lifted his shield to block the attacks, but after three swipes his stamina was depleted. The last attack took half his health before it leaped back from the boy.

Sora: 'HOLY CRAP GUARDING DOES NOT WORK!'.

It roared and repeated the same attack again, except where earlier Sora managed to even block three attacks, he took them all and result?

**You Died.**

Sora: 'I JUST STARTED!'.

Kairi groaned, one death on their end already and they haven't even scratched the boss' health yet. The red head began to throw more fire at the monster, hitting it and dealing relatively decent damage to it, but then it turned its fury on the girl.

With a roar, it fired a barrage of lighting at the girl up to five, Kairi yelped in fear and ran around to dodge the attack, just barely evading the brutal attack with only one hitting her. Though it may not have done as much damage to her as say its brutal assault on Sora, it was enough to warrant her to heal up.

That was a mistake.

The lion charged at her, its horns dealing a monstrous amount of damage to her, and adding to the damage of its electric attack, Kairi was seeing the same sign as her boyfriend.

**You Died.**

Kairi: 'AHHH! Darn you to hell!'.

And then there was one, and Riku became its number one target.

Switching his claymore to his shield and broadsword, giving up high attack for more balance of defence. The beast leapt and swiped at him, he rolled away and slashed at it. Riku repeated this pattern for a while, managing to keep a hefty supply of healing potions while slowly but surely chipping away the monster's health.

He even managed to cut off its tail, gaining a new weapon for himself.

Riku: 'Oh sweet…wait…it-it's a whip…'.

Kairi: '…kinky'.

Riku groaned and resumed his fight, shield up as the beast used the same lighting attack in him, but thankfully his shield managed to absorb a good portion the damage, yet he still rolled away once it prowled around the arena.

It spread its wings, the flapped them and charged towards Riku. He made the poor choice to use his shield instead of rolling, which destroyed his stamina and staggered him, which left him opened to an attack…

And the lion beast, which was positioned with its back legs facing Riku…well, lets just say horses and donkeys aren't the only ones that will give you a powerful back leg kick…

**You Died.**

Riku: 'MOTHER FUCKER!

Sora: 'The first boss…and we've already lost…'.

Kairi: 'Oh this is gonna be a FUN DLC…'.

Attempt number 2.

This time entering the fog, Sora wore the full Havel set and went full on tank mode while Riku stuck with being lighter and quicker with the claymore, and Kairi…well she was following the belief "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", and kept using fire.

The lion monster attacked Sora again, but thanks to the durability of his armour and its incredibly high defence, not only did he take smaller damage, but he managed to power through the attack and managed to land a hit or two during the attack. The beast leapt back from Sora, giving him space to heal but Riku took the innovation to strike the monster when it was preparing tis next attack. He started to hack behind the beast, smacking it three times before he was forced to roll away as it back kicked.

Kairi changed her fire ball throwing to throwing the Great Fireball at the monster. The damage was astronomical, and she managed to make two more with only one unfortunately missing it but still hitting it once. It seemed to catch on Kairi's tactic, but this time when it charges at her, Kairi used possibly her most dangerous gambit spell.

She used Chaos Storm to erect massive pillars of flames around her, damaging the monster enough to evaporate its health to a grain remaining.

Kairi: 'AH HA! BURN BABY!'.

Twilight Town

Axel: '…huh…'.

Isa: 'What is it?'.

Axel: 'I dunno, but, I feel like someone was…making a tribute, to me…'.

Roxas: 'Huh? How?'.

Xion: 'Sure it isn't because of the ice cream?'.

Isa: 'Or your ego?'.

Axel: 'No, no. Like, someone used fire, and spoke something akin to me, making an awesome trick with fire…and then, tribute to me for my fire!'.

Roxas: 'That's…kinda weird…'.

Xion: 'Ice cream, definitely'.

Isa: 'Ego…'.

Back to the Trio

After the beast's death, got its souls, and proceeded further in the garden. They found themselves in the Oolacile Sanctuary, another bonfire before them…

Kairi: 'Really? There's a bonfire just a few steps back there…'.

Riku: 'Yeah, I mean appreciate the mercy, but kinda odd placement…'.

Sora: 'Mushrooms…'.

They both blinked and turned to the boy in question, but then they spotted what he was talking about. There was indeed a mushroom standing just a few feet away from the bonfire, along with the passage way deeper into the dungeon they figured, but this mushroom stood out from the mushrooms that grew on the tree near it.

It had eyes…

Riku: '…wha…?'.

Kairi: '…I'm gonna to go say hi'.

Kairi did so, approaching the mushroom lady and after some chit chat, she discovered the DLC plot.

Kairi: 'Guys! We've a quest!'.

Riku: '…I'm not gonna test her shrooms…'.

Sora: 'Yeah…'.

Kairi: 'NO! We're gonna go on a "damsel in distress rescue"!'.

Sora: 'OOOH…'.

Riku: 'Why? She's right in front of us'.

Kairi was silent for a few minutes, and then some more time passed, and they heard nothing from her.

Sora: 'Kairi? You still here?'.

Riku: 'What's up with…wait, hang on someone's at my door…give me a minute'.

Sora: 'Kay'.

Sora started to drum his fingers against the controller, humming that song Elsa sung awhile back, before he jumped when he heard a rather girlish shriek and some explosion from the monitor before him.

Sora: 'Riku? What happened?'.

He got no response from him, but after a few minutes…

Kairi: 'Sorry bout that, just had to take of an…errand'.

Sora: 'Kairi? What did you do?'.

Kairi: 'Nothing to worry yourself sweetie ;3'.

Sora: '…Riku, are you alive?'.

Riku: '…ow…'.

After Riku drank, according to him, four hi-potions to heal whatever Kairi did to him, they ventured forth in the Royal Wood, crossed the bridge to reach what appeared to be the Darkwood Basin in a much brighter and even more friendly looking wood…until they came across the locals, the Treant Gardner: the Fork Scarecrows.

But their tactics were much to be desired as because Sora still carried Havel's shield, their attacks bounced off his defence and the result was quick deaths and plenty of souls to gain. They pressed on deeper into the wood, and came across the Stone Guardian, a giant humanoid looking creature made of stone.

They made the wise choice in fleeing as opposed to fighting it…

Eventually the found another bridge to cross, but they were able to re-peat history…

Sora: 'GUYS….'.

The two looked and saw massive black dragon flying towards them, spewing a breath of violet black flames upon them, killing Sora and Riku, Kairi having the brains to run back in terror.

Sora: 'NOT AGAIN!'.

Riku: 'FOR GOD SAKE! ANOTHER DRAGON!?'.

Kairi watched the dragon fly away, letting out a breath of relief once it vanished form sight. While the boys would make their way to her, Kairi decided to explore the place some more to find where the next bonfire would be and at the same time find the boss was gonna be.

Luckily, she managed to find the fog wall, which gave her the good impression she found the boss. But in turn, she spotted a tower, explored it to find an elevator that gleefully took her back to the garden where the bonfire resides. So now they had a spot to respawn that was close to the boss…so why did she feel like it was sign of misery and misfortune to come?

Once the boys were back in her world, they rode the elevator up back to the fog wall, ready to face the newest challenge.

They passed through it, and came to a cutscene to see a large man decimating a scarecrow with a massive great sword. It growled demonic words, a voice devoid of humanity and mind of the sane. It turned to the trio, drawing its massive sword.

The Knight Artorias.

Sora: '…Ok, this guy, looks awesome'.

The knight leapt at them, charging at them from the sky and plunged towards them. They all rolled away, Artorias charged with a piercing attack at Sora, decimating his stamina and killing him with the second attack.

Sora: 'I take that back! HE'S AN ASSHOLE!'.

**You Died.**

Artorias was left open though, leaving Riku to strike him in the hindquarters with his claymore. But this would prove to be his biggest mistake, as Artorias performed a slashing dodge, a backhand style of a slash that not only took half of Riku's health, but it also allowed the warrior in blue to leap away from Riku. Yet he wasn't done, for once he gained distance, he performed a gliding slash and struck at Riku, who was forced to roll away from the attack.

Kairi tossed fire balls at the monstrous man, dealing good damage but once Riku was too far for his attack Artorias turned its hidden gaze on her. He leaped at her, slashing her at least three times, putting her health point to nothing more than a grain remaining.

Kairi: 'HOLY CRAP NUGGETS!'.

One final light stab, and Kairi was no more.

Kairi: 'HE JUST FINISHED ONE ATTACK! COME THE FREAK ON!'.

**You Died.**

Riku: 'Ok, its ok…I've got this! I must-

Artorias than performed the "somersault smashing combo", doing a front somersault towards Riku and smashed his sword upon the boy, which despite him healing himself with only one potion, his health was reduced to nothing.

**You Died.**

2nd Attempt

This time the trio would keep their greedy strikes to a minimum, only striking at least once after the knight struck. This strategy seemingly worked in their favour, for using it they managed to chip his health by a quarter.

Until Riku allowed himself to get a bit cocky, and stuck more than once, which took a great deal of his stamina. Meaning when Artorias performed his 2-hit Hurricane Swing, swinging his blade for a 720 degree, hitting Riku twice and ate his health.

Riku: 'MOTHER FUCKER!'.

**You Died.**

Sora took this death with a pinch of salt and kept his strategy of keeping his shield up and keep his attacks less greedy. Artorias performed the somersault attack again, this time Sora managed to block the attack, which ate his stamina…but it didn't matter as Artorias performed a SECOND somersault, and of course, killed Sora.

Sora: 'WHAT!?'.

**You Died.**

Kairi looked at the dead Sora, and as Artorias turned on her, she let out a tiny squeak of fear, knowing full well how this was going to end. So…she may as well go out in style.

Kairi performed the gesture "Well! What is it!"…and was rewarded with Artorias smashing her face in with the sword.

**You Died. **

3rd Attempt.

Kairi: 'OK. SO. Maybe, we shouldn't GET GREEDY RIKU! Blocking isn't working since Artorias is a douche who can attack twice, so dodging him is our best chances'.

Riku: 'How the hell was I supposed to know he'd attack twice!?'.

Sora: 'Previous experiences?'.

Riku: '…quiet you'.

Kairi: 'Okay, lets try this again'.

They entered the fog wall, armed and ready for the battle. Artorias performed his leap attack upon them, this time they all ran away from the attack. Artorias began focusing on Sora, but while he was doing so Kairi was blasting fire at the knight, throwing balls of fire like a madwoman.

This was doing a great deal of damage, because the knight was so fixated on the shield boy, Artorias was neglecting Riku's archery annoyance and Kairi's spam happy pyromancy. The eventually managed to get the boss to halfway down his health, and he was STILL adamant in Sora being his first kill.

Until…he got angry.

Artorias let out a massive roar, his body was now spewing poisonous splotches around his sword swings. Also, he got faster. In a single second, Artorias performed a quick stab against Riku, which not only knocked him off his feet and took almost his entire health, he leapt and performed his flying leap of death and true to its name, Riku died.

Riku: '…WHAT!?'.

**You Died.**

Artorias returned to his previous potential victim, swinging his sword wildly at Sora, who was doing a mix of dodging and blocking. Kairi kept pelting him with fire balls, until she ran out of fire balls and was back down to using only the AOE spells…which means she had to get close.

Kairi: '…arrows for the win'.

Kairi began to shoot arrows at the knight, which at best giving her distance from the big guy, was doing forty-two damage. So, against her better judgement, she used her halberd and rushed in to attack the knight from behind, hacking away his health and even came close to taking him down.

Kairi: 'We're winning! HACK AWAY SORA!'.

Sora: 'DIE DIE DIE DIE!'.

Sadly for the two, they seemingly forgot their promise of their idea, which was DON'T get greedy. And they paid the price for their gluttony. Artorias performed his 720 degree attack, which given Kairi's still smaller vitality, took her down, and Sora…well lets just say he lasted longer than her for at least forty two seconds…just long enough for Artorias to stab him.

**You Died.**

4th Attempt.

Riku: *Slammed his head against his desk*: 'This…isn't even bullshit…'.

Kairi: 'We can't even call this unfair…we just suck so bad!'.

Sora: 'Regular suck or Axel's attempts at cooking suck?'.

Riku: 'PLEASE tell me we're not that bad?'.

Kairi: *Slammed her hands on the desk* 'NO! I REFUSE TO BE THAT BAD AS AXEL'S COOKING! WE'RE GONNA BEAT THIS BOSS!'.

With renewed vigour (or rage depending on who you ask) they approached the fog wall…but then god invaded by the Darkmoon Knights…

Kairi: '…'.

Sora: 'K-Kairi?'.

Kairi: '… *Deep intake of breath*…. YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!'.

*One rage induced slaughter later…*

Kairi: 'OK!? IS THERE ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO INVADE US!? HUH!? HUH!?'.

Sora/Riku: O.O.

Kairi: 'GOOD! Sora, you act as tank, defend us! Riku, dash and slash, I burn until I'm forced to use my bow, DO NOT GET GREEDY! Got it!?'.

Sora/Riku: 'YES MA'AM!

With a raged induced Kairi as their leader (for better or for worse) they entered the arena, where once more Artorias repeated the tactic of leap and murder the trio. They ran away, Sora acted like a tank like he did before, blocking and rolling away from Artorias relentless assaults while Riku attacks him with his claymore but he was mostly running and slashing at him then keeping his distance when he attacked.

Kairi, with the fury probably rivalling Maleficent when dealing with Pete's incompetence, blasted fire ball after fire ball at the knight, hitting her mark. Because of their tactic (and likely following it to letter out of fear of Kairi's rage), Sora and Riku managed to drain his health to the halfway point, which means he went berserk and started to attack with more aggression. In time Kairi's fire balls was up, and now she was back to archery.

Kairi changed it to the same bow the Silver Knights used in Anor Londo, which was much heavier and require more strength from her, plus the wind-up time, but the pay off? LOTS of damage.

Artorias struck at Riku with a backhanded sword attack, taking at least ninety percent of his health, which Riku rightfully ran away from his but thankfully this meant Sora was given an opening to attack Artorias. With a two-handed charged attack, Sora brought his sword down upon the knight, and with the luck of god, Artorias, had finally fallen to their combined might.

Once his body was evaporated into nothing, and his souls were given to the trio.

They all stood there in silent, before they all cried in relief while laughing, deciding they had enough for today and ended their session.

As Kairi bid her friends a goodnight, switched off her console, still crying with relief. She felt a hand on her shoulder, turned to see Naminé, carrying two mugs and a tub of ice cream on a plate.

Naminé: 'I think you need a pick me up'.

If Sora didn't exist, Kairi was certain she would've kissed Naminé…

Little did they know, an even more challenging boss lied in wait for them…

A/N: So…Artorias…what a guy, am I right? No seriously, I love this boss and his lore, so I had fun writing his fight. BUT damn was he hard!

Sapphraze: I wasn't aware of that, so thank ya, but I'm gonna keep Kairi focusing sorely on pyromancy spells exclusively. Too fun~

The Axel ego scene was suggested by, you guessed it, Ima Nonyme, so thanks again buddy for that!

As always everyone, thanks for reading this, have an awesome day, stay awesome but most importantly stay safe!


	10. Chapter 10

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 10

Broken Rage

After their hardest boss yet, the trio had decided if Artorias was ANY indication, they needed to upgrade their gear. So, they decided to grind for souls after they used the ones gained from Artorias to level up and then meetup back in the DLC garden.

Riku: 'Okay, we ready for this?'.

Kairi: ' I guess so-oh come on!'.

Once again a darkmoon knight had invaded the party, under the name "Immagonnagetcha65624".

Riku: 'These invader names are getting stupider'.

The invader wore the bandit set of armour using an axe and small shield, but for whatever reason they just kept half guarding, as if they were taunting the two. Riku groaned in annoyance, a troll player again, while Kairi finally summoned Sora.

Except unlike Riku who was just plain Riku, Sora was in a golden light and he did a gesture.

Then, before they could ask, suddenly Sora literally tossed a bolt of lightning at the invader and one shot killed them.

Sora: 'PRAISE THE SUN!'.

Riku/Kairi: '…WHAT THE HELL!?'.

Sora: 'I joined the Sun Bros and got lightning!'.

Riku: 'How do we join?'.

Sora: 'How high is your faith?'.

Kairi: 'Fourteen?'.

Riku: 'Nine'.

Sora: 'Twenty-five!'.

Kairi: '…fires cooler'.

With that, they all ventured forth into the forests, ready for anything and everything.

Then they got invaded…again.

Kairi: 'Oh my god!'.

They managed to slay the invader without dying but they've used a good deal of healing potions so there was that. But that didn't stop them, they kept moving on slaying one stone giant before they encountered the gardeners again, carrying large scissors.

Riku: 'Look out guys, he's going for our hairs'.

This was meant to be a jest, as Riku was used to getting his own cut by himself regularly, and he didn't remember the last time Sora ever got his cut. Kairi only a few months ago since it was reduced to a shorter length now into a small bob cut.

That said the other two…didn't take it as a joke.

Sora ran the gardener through and viciously murdered them and kicked their remains off the cliff. He huffed and unknowing to the other two, patted his soft spiky locks lovingly.

Sora: 'Nobody is touching my haircut with scissors! Nobody!'.

Riku: 'Tell it to those guys currently running at you'.

Riku gestured the trio of failed barbers, running at the party…until several pillars of fire rose from the ground and incinerated them all.

Kairi: 'NO ONE TOUCHES MY HAIR! I'll burn you all!'.

Riku wasn't sure who he should be more worried for, Kairi or Sora. Either way, they explored of the wood, so far finishing off most of the enemies and eventually gaining a decent amount of souls to upgrade their equipment. They returned back to the blacksmith to get their gear to their highest levels, except for Kairi.

Riku: 'Kairi for god sake will you invest your souls in armour?'.

Kairi: 'NO! My robes aren't good for defence! I'm not wasting souls on it!'.

Riku: 'THEN WEAR SOMETHING ELSE!'.

Kairi: 'ALL MY ARMOURS ARE TOO HEAVY!'.

Riku: 'THAN INVEST IN ENDURANCE!'.

Kairi: 'NO!'.

Sora: 'YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL EYES!'.

Kairi: '…thank you…'.

After that argument, the boy invested into upgrading their armour to maximum capacity, along with new weapons. Riku finally equipped the Black Knight great sword with a shield that replenishes his stamina at a faster rate, and Sora, fully maxed out Drake Sword, carried Havel's shield with little to no trouble.

Kairi earlier had upgrade her pyromancy flame to max, purchased a few items but kept a large bounty of souls for herself. With everyone's armour upgraded (bar Kairi) and weapons ready to slaughter to their full potential, they returned to the DLC garden and where they struggled against Artorias. They exited the arena and found themselves in the once proud city of Oolacile.

Oolacile Township was the next area for them to explore (and die repeatedly), with it being mostly clustered with easy to fall and die, with crafty enemies.

Also? Invaders.

Kairi: 'AGAIN!?'.

Riku: 'They're never gonna leave you alone!'.

This time it was an NPC invader that ran at them, throwing daggers at them all. Sora parried the attacks using his shield, which did little to his stamina and not even harm him. Sora stuck twice and killed the invader.

Sora: '…I LOVE MY SWORD!'.

Riku: 'Well that went well- OH FOR FUCK SAKE!'.

Another invader…and it was a player this time.

And to add insult to injury, this one was wearing the Havel set, carried Smough's hammer and a dark knight shield. And? He can roll fast too. Not risking it for a biscuit, they all rushed in to strike, but…that Havel looking invader used the miracle spell "Force", which true to the name, used a powerful blast to force everyone back…which meant he knocked them all off the bridge and to their doom…

**You Died.**

Riku: '…this is your fault Kairi'.

Kairi: '… *Growl*'.

One respawn later, they returned to Oolacile and the spot where they were murdered, this time keeping their eyes wide open for any more invasions. Venturing onwards into the ruined town, they encountered the local monsters that wanted their souls and blood.

Their speed alone was enough for the trio to slightly panic, plus they dealt a LOT of damage to Sora's health. Plus side though? VERY squishy beings, as in, easy to kill with one strike of a high-level weapons and a very angry Kairi fire ball of death.

Deeper in, carefully walking from a distances from the ledges, they went deeper into the city, where they encountered more of the speedy Oolacile residents, and along with their sorceresses. One of which casted a spell at Riku, which hit him and did tremendous damage. Before Riku could even swear at the giant bulbous headed monster, it's lifespan was cut short by a giant fire ball of misery, courtesy of Kairi.

Sora: 'Was the needed?'.

Kairi: 'Yes'.

Sora: '…you sure?'.

Kairi: 'Sora, are you annoyed I killed it?'.

Sora: 'Nope, nope! Happy out!'.

And so many call that boy an idiot…

Climbing down a flight of stairs, headed right around the building. They circled around said building, Kairi incinerated another resident, they found a "Orange Guidance Soapstone", which only gave them some light. (Foreshadowing). Through a doorway, they were attacked by another sorceress. Sadly for them they were struck by its magic, almost killing Kairi (which Riku didn't even hesitate to criticise her small vitality), and nearly knocking her off the ledge.

Riku managed to bring down the evil sorceress, and they proceeded downwards the stairs…and were ambushed by TWO sorceresses. And…one casted a spell that hit Sora, which nearly killed him. Also…they were invaded again.

Riku: 'WHAT!? WHY NOW!?'.

Kairi: 'WHY EVER!?'.

Another player from their gear, not to mention they pulled the dick move of "hiding behind the enemy to lure the others into the fray". They trio groaned in frustration, with the sorceresses firing nothing but spells and the invader constantly taunting them by mock guarding.

Sora: ' "Wonderbland4353" you jerk! Get over here and fight us!'.

Riku: 'Stop hiding behind the NPCs!'.

Kairi however remained silent, but her grip on her controller grew tighter, squeezing the plastic hard and even straining it.

Sora: 'Ok, I'll rush in and try to take out the sorceress on the left, Riku you wanna go for the one the right?'.

Riku: *sighes* 'Yeah…sure, why not? Kai, you can go pyro on the invader, yeah?'.

Kairi: '…sure…'.

So with their plan concocted, they acted upon it. Sora rushed in at the enemy on the left, shield raised up as he jogged as opposed to sprinted to conserve stamina. The two tossed magic at him, but this gave Riku a window of opportunity to attack now with the creature focused on Sora. The invader seemed to catch on their plan, for they ran towards Sora after he blocked both spells.

Kairi tossed the gigantic fire ball spell on them, detonating upon impact and dealing massive damage to them and the sorceress too. Riku managed to two-shot the first one, and with both enemies wounded, Sora managed to take them both down quick and easy.

Sora: 'HA! HA! Suck it!'.

Riku: 'That's what you get!'.

Kairi however, growled darkly.

They got invaded literally after the previous one had just vanished. Which caused the boys to groan in frustration.

Sora: 'WE JUST GOT RID OF THE LAST ONE!'.

But it got worse… for when one appeared, another joined, and then another.

Sora: '…you can't be serious…'.

Riku: 'WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. THIS. BULLSHIT!?'.

Suffice to say…the fight was VERY one sided, for they were clearly more experienced players, had better gear, and apparently knew every single frame and pixel of the game cause the puppy lover kept back stabbing Riku, and the dual prince was a parrying pro, Sora couldn't even lay a hand on them. As for Kairi?

She was killed by the very element she loved…

**You Died.**

Sora: '…wow…'.

Riku: 'That was bullshit…god damn it'.

Strangely, Kairi had remained silent for the whole thing, which made the two forget their rage and replaced it with worry.

Sora: 'Kairi? Y-You ok?'.

Kairi…started to laugh. And it wasn't that wonderful laugh Sora loved (and may or may not have recorded once), nor was it the playful laughter they were familiar with. It was in fact a laughter that was closer to a person slowly losing their grip on the delicate mental requirement known as sanity, her laugh was growing louder and louder, and angrier.

Sora: 'Kairi…you're scaring me'.

Riku: 'Yeah, w-we can take a break if you need it…'.

Kairi: 'Oh no guys…I'm fine…really…'.

That was a downright lie if they ever heard one.

Sora: 'Y-You sure…?'.

Kairi: 'Positive! I mean…what's the big deal? Its not like, ya know, we're gonna get invaded again! DEAL WITH ALL THE BAD GUYS AGAIN! START FROM ALL OVER THE BEGINNING AGAIN! NOT LIKE THERE AREN'T PEOPLE WHO JUST FUCKING LOOOOVVVVEEE TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE'S DAYS A FUCKING MISERY!'.

Sora knew when Kairi swears, IE uses the "F" word, he knew the best way to describe Kairi, was PISSED.

Riku quickly sent a text to Naminé, saying: "If you value your life, RUN".

He got a text no sooner than ten seconds, saying: "Already halfway to Twilight Town!".

Kairi: 'SO NOW BECAUSE OF MY ACCIDENT OF KILLING A GIANT BOOB LADY SUDDENLY THE WHOLE WORLD OF DARK SOULS DECIDED "HEY THAT RED HEAD PYROMANCY PERSON KILLED OUR BOOB QUEEN! LET'S MAKE HER PAY THROUGH INVASIONS"!'.

They heard her growl so loudly it was as if a wild lion was right beside the two, and they both felt the exact same fear of that situation. And they were even considering taking a quick flight to another world to avoid Kairi's surprising rage. Then they heard a loud bang.

Kairi: 'SO YA KNOW!? I MIGHT BE JUST A TEENIE TINY BIT MIFFED BUT WHO WOULDN'T BE IF THEY WERE GONNA BE CONSTANTLY INVADED EVERY FIVE MINUTES!?'.

Two more loud bangs…and then a soft curse.

Kairi: '…Sora?'.

Sora: 'Y-Y-Yes?'.

Kairi: '…do you have a spare controller?'.

One terrified exchange…

After Kairi's "little" meltdown, the Destiny Trio managed to return to the spot where they were murdered earlier, albeit more tense and probably closer to potentially breaking down into inhuman rage. Regardless, they ventured deeper in, they climbed down a set of stairs and found themselves on a narrow wooden walkway, another resident awaiting them. Riku wordlessly dealt with it, not even muttering a word in case Kairi would snap or rage.

The girl had been very silent since her *ahem* episode, and after a quick service to her poor controller, everyone was on edge. Heck Riku was more terrified what Kairi would do if they got invaded again, and he feared it wasn't the game she'd take her anger on.

He prayed for Sora in secret.

Then, he got a text from Naminé…and he paled in terror.

Riku: (Texting Sora) 'Naminé texted me…we've got trouble!'.

Sora: 'What?'.

Then…they were invaded. But oh, it wasn't just one, nor two, but THREE. THREE invaders in one minute. Names: "Pyroking43", "Dualprince90" and "Puppyhugger43", had all appeared.

Riku and Sora's eyes widened in horror, they recognized the names from their friends list. Secretly they opened a new chat in Discord without Kairi knowing, probably fuming at the sight of the invaders.

Axel: 'Sup guys~'.

Roxas: 'Hope you don't mind a small invasion'.

Riku: 'GUYS. GET THE FUCK OUT…NOW'.

Sora: 'DON'T DO THIS!'.

Xion: 'Jeez Sora, no need to be a wimp-

Sora: 'XION FOR THE SAKE OF YOU LIVING TO SEE ANOTHER DAY, GET OUT NOW!'.

Roxas: 'Look, we know DS invasions are annoying, but they're part of the game. Sides, it's just…wait, is that Kairi?'.

He got his answer in the form of a massive maul to the face, and was then pounded into nothing but a corpse. Kairi, forgoing her robes, was now dressed in the "Thorns" set of armour, carrying a massive maul. How she gained the strength to even wield that weapon was beyond the boys, but all it did for them was just terrify them even more.

Roxas was killed in two hits, despite his armour and stats being much MUCH higher than Kairi's.

Kairi turned on Xion slowly, and if anyone could see her eyes, they'd see a heartless in her place.

Xion: 'HOLY SHIT…'.

Sora: 'XION…'.

Immediately all her confidence faded and in its place was terror, she knew Kairi was NOT in the mood, and she was certainly not screwing around. Axel grabbed his great sword and shield in preparation for her next attack.

Axel: 'Don't worry Rox, I'll avenge-

If he had any intention of avenging Roxas, Kairi stomped that goal in the dirt. She got right behind Axel and performed probably the highest damage of a backstab could accomplish, utter demolishing Axel in one swift strike. Too add further insult, Kairi kicked his remains off the ledge and into the abyss, where he'd be forgotten.

Xion stood there, skin ashen and eyes wider than a dinner plate on Christmas dinner, shaking profusely. Kairi's eyes turned to the final remaining invader, murderous intent clear. Xion whimpered in horror, before she decided to beg for her life.

Xion: 'K-K-K-KAIRI! I SWEAR IT WAS AXEL'S IDEA!'.

Unaware of her not being in the chat, Kairi slowly approached Xion, who was now backing away from her.

Xion: 'KAIRI PLEASE! I SWEAR I WASN'T GONNA ATTACK YOU! MAYBE SORA AT BEST AND WORST BUT NOT YOU I PROMISE!'.

Her words fell on deaf ears (literally) as Kairi's hand glowed in a dark fiery aura, almost reminding her of a heartless…just more terrifying.

Xion: *Exgerated tears* Kairi please…mercy!'.

Kairi: '…FUCK…YOU…'.

Xion's last words were squeaks of terror as Kairi…well lets just say she was the first person to ever combine giant hammers and pyromancy in the same combo…and Xion was the first person to ever experience a brutal agony not thought possible…

After Sora and Riku bore witness to what can only be described as…violation of the soul, they both waited with held breaths to see if Kairi had indeed become a Anti-Rage form…and if so, it was a perfect time to panic.

Kairi: *Deep breaths* 'Guys…I think, we should call it a day'.

Riku: 'YES ABSOLUTELY!'.

Sora: 'WHATEVER YOU WANT KAIRI!'.

Kairi: 'Sora'.

Sora: 'Y-Yes?'.

Kairi: '…get your butt over to my place…'.

Sora: 'Yes Ma'am!'.

Twilight Town

Isa enters the shared household with a bag of groceries, humming away as he walked into the game room just to check up on the trio of roommates…

To say he was concerned was an understatement.

Roxas was sitting in his seat looking as if he stared into the face of death, devoid of all emotions, Axel sitting on the couch with his arms around his knees rocking back and forth.

Xion...even Isa was horrified to see her.

The girl was underneath her blanket with a small teddy in her arms, shaking profusely, eyes teary.

Isa: 'What happened?'.

Roxas: 'Kairi…wrecked us…'.

Axel: 'She…destroyed us…'.

Xion: '…I was violated…'.

Isa blinked at them all, before placing the groceries in the kitchen…and preparing a large bounty of ice cream for them…

A/N: So this was…a breaking point for some.

So the haircut scene, Kairi going near Rage-Form and armour upgrade moment was thanks to Apprentice To Fantasy, thanks so much for helping me with this chapter.

While they character's haven't progressed through the dungeon entirely, this just a fun chapter to have Kairi go berserk for a change since I usually make Riku suffer the most rage.

Thanks for reading, as always stay awesome but more importantly stay safe!


	11. Chapter 11

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 11

Manus…the bastard.

*Three days later…*

Naminé: 'So can I assume its safe to come home now?'.

Kairi: 'Yes…I swear the only thing I broke, other than my sanity for a while, was a controller'.

Naminé: 'I'm standing by my opinion that maybe this game isn't worth beating, if you're gonna abuse your stuff'.

Kairi: 'Naminé if you were invaded by THREE people at once at two different occasions, even you would be a tad bit upset'.

Naminé: 'Just tell me two things: First, was Sora brought over?'.

Kairi: 'I'm not ashamed to say I may have used him to relieve my stress and rage…and might have gotten a bit…overbearing'.

Naminé: 'Ok…second, did you sterilize the couch?'.

Kairi: 'NAMINÉ!'.

Naminé: 'You said you used him to relieve stress…'.

Kairi: 'I meant sparring sessions! Playing other games that don't make me wanna tear my hair out!'.

Naminé: 'Sure~'.

Kairi: '…least I can with my boyfriend if I wanted to!'.

Naminé: '…well played…'.

*Pre Session*

Sora: 'So…I heard, this place is supposed to be SUPER hard'.

Riku: 'Based on the comments on the wiki? Wow…'.

Kairi: 'Sora, I wanna apologize in advance for your controller'.

Sora: 'Its ok Kai, I've got like two…'.

Riku: 'Hey guys, just saying, maybe we can ask someone to help us?'.

Kairi: 'Is that really a good idea? The games hard with the three of us already'.

Riku: 'Yeah…but it'd help with invasions-

Kairi: 'GET US SOMEONE TO HELP!'.

Sora: 'OOOH! AQUA! Terra said she's really good at this game!'.

Sora yanked out his Gummi phone and immediately dialled Aqua's number, who answered in two beeps.

Aqua's Place

Aqua: 'Hi Sora, is something wrong?'.

Sora: 'Kinda, listen, remember that DLC you told us about?'.

Aqua: 'Yeah? How's it going?'.

Sora: 'We're kinda having trouble, see Kairi uh, did a bad, and we're constantly getting invaded…'.

Kairi: 'INVADERS ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE!'.

Aqua flinched at that, hearing Kairi through the monitor, and even sweated a bit.

Sora: '…anyways, we really wanna get this over with. You've played the games, can ya help us with it?'.

Aqua turned very pale, her eyes widened and she began to sweat. She looked at her console, which was on and spotted her Player ID on it…the name that will forever haunt her. Shaking, she bit her nail and looked around for a solution…then remembered she did have a solution…

Aqua: 'Oh, I'm so sorry, I'd help, buuuuutt…my console isn't…working right now'.

Sora: 'Really? What's wrong with it?'.

Aqua summoned her keyblade, and turned on the system…

Destiny Trio

Next thing Sora knew, he heard a loud crashing sound that made him jump.

Aqua: '…it exploded yesterday…'.

Sora: 'How!?'.

Aqua: 'Oh ya know me, I spilled something on it and boom, clumsy me!'.

Sora: 'Aww, well, sorry. Thanks anyways'.

Aqua: 'OH NO no problem!'.

Ventus: 'AQUA! THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THE CONSOLE!?'.

Aqua: 'OOPS GOTTA GO SORA SORRY I CAN'T HELP KAY THANKS BYE!'.

Never had Sora seen anyone hang up so quickly, though he couldn't help but wonder how Ventus only noticed now did Aqua break the console. Still it was strange, she was normally careful around electronic stuff. He shrugged regardless, Aqua and the other two were out.

Kairi: 'What about Axel and the others?'.

Riku: 'I…think they're gonna avoid DS for a while'.

Kairi: 'Why?'.

Sora: 'You violated them remember?'.

Kairi: '…ooh right…'.

Sora: 'Guess we're on our own'.

*Arriving to Axel and co's graves*

Cautious as new born kittens exploring their home, the trio went deeper into the dungeon. They descended a wooden, which they encountered on their right was a resident, but it made the terrible mistake of standing on the edge.

And underestimating how strong Riku's kick was and the price of its poor choice was a one way trip to the abyss below them.

Further down the evil rabbit hole, they came to an open space with FIVE residents and one sorceress, but the latter was protecting a Dark Bead, a very over powered spell.

The residents charged at the them, Sora immediately going tank mode and blocked their ferocious attacks. Riku ran at the sorceress while the five were focusing on Sora, making the rightful choice to murder anyone that can use spells or magic. Plus they were VERY squishy beings which means easy kills.

One clean sweeping attack from Riku and the evil witch person is deader than Ven's chances of acing Aqua's math test.

With the power couple, Sora kept blocking and parrying the attacks of the residents while Kairi pelted them with fire balls and pillars of burning agony. They may have gotten a few nasty hits here and there, but it paled in comparison to the victory they achieved. Once the fight was won, they made a turn onto a rocky path, that gave them a great look of…

Sora: 'Guys…there's ghosts'.

The two peered to see said ghosts, and true to the boy's words, there were a swarm of ghosts. Humanity ghosts to be specific, floating in the darkness like lost souls of the damned.

Riku: 'We…have to go that way don't way?'.

Kairi: 'Well, time for camping sniping!'.

Kairi began to throw several giant balls of fire at the them, hitting several of the ghosts and killing many of them, but not only that…she was also gaining humanity too. Needless to say she was contented to stand there blasting them all to ashes and reaping the rewards via cheap tactics.

After, they ventured to the left where a platform they stood on suddenly vanished, made them scream before they landed. Death via falling was not to be their end yet. Before them was the Spirit of Alvina (Cat creature from Darkwood Forest)

Sora: '…Is that Cheshire Cat!?'.

Kairi: 'Does it have a smile that screams "Only hell and misery awaits you"?'.

Sora: 'No…just a "I'm gonna ruin your day" smile…'.

They approached the cat but it suddenly vanished, revealing a hidden pathway for them. Curious, but mostly because they had no other pathway to go, they proceeded further in the cave. The cat kept leading them on, they slew a few more humanities (by this point they all carried a respectful twenty two humanities each) and finally they arrived to an open area.

On their left was a door, along with another illusionary wall where the cat disappeared. They decided to explore the false wall first which led them into a cave. But there were also Humanity ghosts prowling around the spot, surrounding a wolf cub.

Kairi: ' *GASP* A PUPPY!'.

Sora: 'SAVE THE PUPPY!'.

The two rushed in head first with cries, and destroyed the ghosts, rescuing the cub. Surrounded by a yellow light, the wolf stood up on all four legs and howled, then disappearing before their eyes leaving a shield for them.

Kairi: 'Puppy is safe :D'.

Sora: 'Hopefully we'll see it grow up, into a strong and lovable wolf!'.

Riku: 'Yeah, it's gonna be awesome!'.

Once the pup was saved and after Kairi threw the shield on her back, they continued their exploration through this dark and abysmal place. They fought more ghosts, another sorceress and after many kills, getting lost, and dying to pit falls and confusion, they finally came to the fog wall. The last boss of the main quest of this area was right before them, and if Artorias was any indication, this was going to be rough…

They passed through the fog wall and came to a cliff that oversees nothing but darkness before them. Then a giant hand reached out from nothing and grabbed all three of them, yanked them into the darkness, slamming them onto the ground.

Sora: 'SOMETHING IS EAGER TO MURDER US!'.

Before them stood the dark demonic monstrosity, Manus, Father of the Abyss.

Riku: '…he looks like tough'.

Manus immediately slammed his hand down upon them, smashing all three in one hit. To give you an idea how much damage his attack does, he one shot Kairi and nearly killed the other two.

Kairi: 'I WAS KILLED IN ONE FREAKING HIT!?'.

**You Died.**

Riku and Sora rolled away to give themselves some space, but the monster leapt and slammed his hand on Riku, killing him just as he attempted to heal himself.

Riku: 'GOD DAMNIT!'.

**You Died.**

With two of his friends down, Sora gulped in fear as Manus turned his full attention to Sora. Sora used his shield, but Manus then performed his possibly most broken attack he, or any DS boss had, and roared. He then slashed in a frenzy manner and hit Sora in a total of six times, his first two broke Sora's guard and then the remaining four killed him.

**You Died. **

The trio sat there, looking at their monitors in dismay, and horror. Not even two minutes in, and they've already been demolished by the boss. And no one had even laid a hand on him yet.

Kairi: '…I'll be back'.

Sora: 'Candy and soda?'.

Kairi: 'YYUUP'.

Snack Replenished

Attempt 2

They re-enter the dungeon once more, got grabbed by the grabby hands of Manus once more, and now here they were facing him once more.

Manus leapt at them all, making each of them run away from his over powered attack. Once each of them were at a fair distance, Kairi began to throw balls of fire at him, while Riku would cut and run him after each attack animation. They were few however, because every time he missed, Manus would suddenly leap away from them all and then whenever he was close, he'd go nuts and strike at everything around him.

Manus then performed a dive attack, and managed to hit Sora. The boy losing half his hit points BARELY had any time to take a quick sip of his healing potion before Manus bitched slapped him again, taking even more hit points. Riku took his best friend's beatings as opportune moment to strike at the father of the abyss, delivering several combos that did decent damage at best and at worst. But this would be his undoing, for Manus performed a spin attack, which smacked both boys like flies and like that, they perished.

**You Died.**

Riku: 'BASTARD OF A BOSS!'.

Sora: 'You're on your own Kairi!'.

Kairi: '…meep…'.

Despite her best efforts, Kairi had tried her best to use pyromancy, dodge and strike at the boss, but thanks to Manus' wild and chaotic movements he mostly unintentionally evaded half of her fire balls, and even managed to get right behind her.

Kairi: '…this isn't going to end well…'.

It ended poorly…

**You Died.**

Attempt 3

This time, Kairi finally changed into a more heavier but far greater defensive armour, forgoing speed for better defence and a wanton desire to survive more than ONE hit from Manus.

Well…she got her wish…it now takes TWO hits to kill her. One leap attack followed by a hand slam and presto, you got yourself a dead pyromancer.

**You Died.**

Kairi: '…I HATE YOU!'.

Sora and Riku, now down their pyromancer, they did their best to fight the monster with all their combined might. Unfortunately Manus' aggressive combat strategy of "smacking everyone as hard as he can" and that seemed to pay off, for he managed to get both of them in a frenzy attack, killing them both on the fourth hit of the combo.

**You Died.**

Attempt 4

Kairi: 'AGHHHHHH! This is ridiculous! He's freaking broken!'.

Riku: 'This isn't working…maybe we should train a bit more?'.

Sora: 'I guess so…maybe, Kairi, you could invest in some vitality?'.

Kairi: '…fine…'.

Thus, the trio spend at least four hours of grinding, hunting monsters around the DLC, plus the invasions had been rather quiet lately, not that they ceased all together, but just enough to allow them to get a few levels, upgrade their stuff and even re-adjust their gear for better results. Riku had fully upgraded his black knight great sword, regular black knight sword and shield, Sora built enough endurance to wear Havel's full set and shield without weighing himself like a rock.

Kairi, against her pride, upgraded the thorn armour to full and her halberd to maximum power, she even had it enchanted with lightning. And…she finally upgraded her vitality.

So now after that, they entered the darkness once again to TRY and beat this boss. Manus stood there for them this time, Sora rushed in first, shield up high while Riku circled around the boss. Manus performed, immediately, his frenzy attack on them, but this time Sora ran away from him, and once he was a finished with that op attack, Riku charged in and began to hack away at him, his great sword doing a large amount of damage to him this time. A total of over a thousand damage after expanding his stamina meter.

Great you'd think, but Riku seemingly forgot stamina was used to, ya know, run and roll…

Manus didn't forget. He never forgot. And his hand sweep DEFINITELY didn't forget that.

Tremendous damage, and with not enough stamina for him, one more hand slam upon the boy and he re-joined the dead once more.

**You Died.**

Riku: '…'.

Riku got off his chair and approached his bedroom door…and started to bang his head repeatedly slowly. He didn't have to worry about keeping up this abuse, for two crashing and crushing sounds later from his monitor.

Sora: 'DAMNIT!'.

Kairi: 'OH MY GOD!'.

**You Died.**

Attempt 5

Not even bothering to prep themselves with grinding or new weapons, this time they all just jumped in and without any regard for themselves, they all rushed in this time. Manus dived at Kairi, who ran away from him when he landed. Sora and Riku ran and struck at him, this time both keeping an eye on their stamina meters. Once they were low enough, they backed away from Manus, who performed his spinning attack.

No one was harmed (YET), so Kairi began to use fire again, throwing both giant and regular sized spheres of burning heat at him, while the giant was sweeping his hand at Sora. Using Havel's shield, Sora mitigated the damage enough for him to keep up his guard but also let Riku attack him while he kept him busy. Riku did two fully charged attacks that brought down his health by ten percent, which put him just a little over fifty percent of health remaining.

Kairi: 'That's it guys! Keep it up!'.

Sora: 'I think we might be winning!'.

Unfortunately, Manus then lifted his hand up, the catalyst (weapon) in hand, it glowed in a dark light, and then suddenly a rain of dark homing missiles fell from the sky, and rained down upon Sora. The attack ate his stamina and then next thing they all knew the boy was reduced to a pin cushion.

Sora: '…OH COME ON!? MAGIC MISSILES!?'.

**You Died.**

Riku: 'Ok, so his attacks deal a bullshit amount of damage, he's got a fuck-ton of health, AND NOW HE'S GOT MAGIC!? FUCK RIGHT OFF WITH THAT!'.

Manus, apparently he must have heard Riku's raging complaints, turned on the boy and perhaps just to show off, he performed another magic based attack. He swung the catalyst sideways, spawning a wave of dark bolts in a very rough cone shape before him, which consumed Riku and, you guessed it, killed him.

Riku: 'GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!'.

**You Died. **

Riku: 'FUCK THIS! FUCK THIS BOSS! GOD DAMN IT!'.

Kairi started to run around the area, dodging and evading every attack Manus had up his non-existent sleeves, forcing herself to stick with using quick but weaker fire spells to even scratch his health. However, when she rolled to evade his next hand sweep, she found a summon sign just waiting there for her. Caution to the wind, Kairi touched it and soon, out came the very same wolf that they rescued earlier, carrying a sword in its mouth.

Kairi: 'Guys? Remember that cute wolf cub we saved earlier?'.

Sora: 'Yeah?'.

Riku: 'I DON'T FUCKING CARE!'.

Kairi: 'Well…he's fighting Manus with me'.

Sora/Riku: '…WHAT!?'.

True to her words, the wolf leapt and slashed at Manus' legs, dealing not as much as Riku did, but enough to warrant concern from the giant demon. But unlike the others, the wolf was much faster and more agile than them, making dodging even his largest attacks a breeze for the wolf. This gave Kairi plenty of time to strike the large demon with all the fire balls she could possibly muster, spamming them without even pausing to catch her breath.

This slow deliberate plan was tedious, and more than once Kairi had to run for her dear life when Manus figured she was acting the coward and spamming magic at him, but thanks to the cub, Manus was slowly being whittled down to just one fire ball away.

Finally, Kairi fired her final giant ball of fire at the monster, landing on him and finally, removing him from this mortal coil and freeing herself from the abyss.

She stared at her monitor, eyes wide and jaw slack.

Kairi: 'I-I did it…'.

She jumped out of her seat and threw her arms up in the air with the loudest cry of victory she could ever muster.

Kairi: 'I BEAT MANUS!'.

Sora: 'OH THANK YOU LIGHT!'.

Riku: 'YES! YEEEEESSSS! GOD BLESS THIS PERFECT WOMAN!'.

Kairi turned to the cub, beaming at it approached her, tail wagging before it vanished, returning to its own world once more. She had felt so good about winning in so long, an achievement that was long overdue, satisfaction worth crying over and Kairi managed to do this without Sora or Riku.

There was nothing could break her cheer…

…

…

"Darkheart831" had invaded.

Kairi's eye twitched, her smile went crooked and more insane like…before she let out a scream of pure rage.

*One… "fight" later...*

After respawning the boys, they all returned to where originally entered the DLC, not even bothering to fight the dragon. They were done with this wretched place, and the sooner they just finish the game's main campaign the sooner they can stop putting their blood pressures in danger.

But in a wonderous turn of event, Kairi managed to obtain the Antiquated Set and the Dusk Crown Ring, which boosted her pyromancy to knew levels, but halved her health. She claimed it was worth the magic~

Now with the DLC finally done and over, they all agreed it was time to finally put down the Four Kings, but first they needed to this Sif first…

Unaware of the pain…and not from the fight itself…

A/N: I struggled with this chapter, and am ashamed it took all week to get this done. I'm sorry for the delay, I cannot promise I'll get the second chapter out this week but I'm gonna try.

Thank you all for the patience and support for this story, and if you all want, after the Four Kings, you can decide who they go for next.

Thanks for reading, stay awesome but more importantly stay safe!


	12. Chapter 12

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 12

A wolf and Four Kings

Riku: 'Ok, we've beaten the DLC…excluding the dragon fight but we won't speak of that'.

Sora/Kairi: 'YES'.

Riku: 'So now, we've gotta go and fight Sif, get the ring and commit regicide four times straight!'.

Sora: 'I've never fought a king before, this will be a new experience!'.

The trio explored the dark woods, but thanks to their experience of the DLC the enemies were far easier for them, in fact Kairi didn't even need to use her spells on them and stuck with just using the halberd on them. Even Riku was having a far easier time for this route, not even taking a single hit.

The trio climbed the ladder where they "fought" the hydra, beat back several evil tree folks and random hunters that didn't have very long lifespans after meeting Sora's sword. Finally, they came to the stone door where Sif awaited them, weapons ready and healing potions prepped for the potentially difficult boss. Thankfully Kairi purchased the Artorias signet to open it earlier, so there was that.

They passed through the fog and came to an open area with several swords planted in the ground, a lone gravestone as tall as a building stood there. A familiar sword was planted into the ground before the grave, and Kairi touched it. Then, they looked up to see the large wolf, MUCH bigger than any wolf, looming over them. It snarled at them and then leapt to the ground.

Sora: 'THAT'S A BIG PUPPY!'.

Sif approached them, Kairi fell on her back as the wolf loomed over her.

Kairi: 'PLEASE DON'T EAT ME! I TASTE HORRIBLE I SWEAR!'.

He opened his mouth but then his nose twitched, suddenly that feral aggressive beast died and in its place were the eyes of recognition and…sorrow? Kairi slowly got up, but then, the boys heard her whimper.

Sora: 'Kairi?'.

Kairi: 'No…no'.

Riku: 'What?'.

Kairi: 'It's the puppy, from the DLC'.

Sora: 'Wait, Sif's Artorias puppy…?'.

Sif then howled into the moon, a deep sadness resonating within his cries. He turned to the grave and grabbed the sword Artorias left behind and turned to face the trio, his stance resolute and ready for battle.

Riku: 'Ok…he's using the sword with his mouth…sound familiar Sora?'.

Sora: 'W-Wait, we HAVE to fight him!?'.

Kairi: 'NOOOO! I don't wanna hurt him! I've literally known him since he was a baby!'.

Riku: 'WELL TOO BAD!'.

Sif swung the sword in a horizontal swing, Sora forced himself to guard the attack, and even managed to hold his own against the second attack. Despite the weak attack had little effect on his stamina, Sora kept his shield up and refused to strike back.

Riku: 'What are you guys waiting for? He's open!'.

Sora: 'But he's a buddy!'.

Riku: 'SORA FOR GODSAKE!'.

Sif then leapt over them and right behind Kairi, who would normally use the fire pillars to defend herself from surrounding enemies, but instead she just ran away from Sif's attack. She couldn't bring herself to attack the poor wolf. Sif performed one overhead swing, just missing Kairi that would've no doubt killed her in one strike.

Just as well she still had the common sense to run away. The wolf re-used those attacks time and time again, with Sora and Kairi not doing any damage or harm to the poor wolf left Riku to do most of the work. True Sif's attacks were easy to read and predict given his large form and build for attacks, but it didn't mean Riku had a flawless fight with the thing, for he did take a few nasty hits every few minutes.

Riku: 'GUYS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL YOU HIT HIM ALREADY!?'.

Kairi: 'B-B-BUT IT'S A PUPPY!'.

Riku: 'KAIRI IT IS NOT A PUPPY!'.

Kairi: 'You don't understand, he doesn't wanna anyone to end up like Artorias!'.

Riku: 'BY KILLING US!?'.

Sora: 'He's right Kairi…we'll never get outta here unless we…put him down'.

Kairi: 'NNOOOOOOO!'.

With reluctance so great he'd rather take on the dragon, Sora rushed in with his sword up high and managed to strike Sif after every wide strike, dodging, blocking and parrying his ruthless strikes. In the end, Kairi resigned and began to cover her boys with fire balls, tossing them at the wolf as Riku rushes in with hit and run tactics.

Slowly but surely, they widdle down Sif's strength, and soon they can put this horrible experience behind them and just get past this game. At least the situation couldn't possibly make them, or rather, Kairi and Sora feel anymore worse…right?

Well, lets just say you're gonna see just how evil the creators of this game is…

With Sif's health down to just on strike away from chasing rabbits in the sky, he began to limp towards the party.

Kairi: 'AHHHH HE'S LIMPING!'.

Sora: 'OH NO! POOR WOLF!'.

Riku: '…fuck me, even *I* feel bad!'.

With tears in her eyes, Kairi struck down the wolf with one clean strike from her halberd, and with one final howl, Sif fell. His body faded to nothing with the sword, and the party finally obtained the ring needed to finally put down the Four Kings…but the cost of such a victory was too much…

Kairi: '…SIF! I'M SO SORRY!'.

Sora: 'WE'RE HORRIBLE PEOPLE!'.

Riku: '…'.

Kairi: 'NAMINÉ! I need a hug!'.

Naminé: *In her room*: 'Rage again?'.

Kairi: 'I KILLED SIF!'.

Suddenly Kairi's door was kicked opened and rushing in, Naminé scooped her "sister" into a loving embrace.

Naminé: 'Shh, shh, its ok, everyone hates that fight'.

One crying session later…

Right before the boss room

Riku: 'Ok, so we've got the ring, now we can FINALLY be done with this headache'.

Kairi: 'We're gonna make them pay!'.

Sora: 'THOSE ARE EVIL ONES!'.

Riku: 'We haven't even fought them yet!'.

Kairi: 'WE MURDERED A LOVING PUPPY TO FIGHT THEM! BADGUYS MUST PAY FOR PUPPY!'.

Riku: 'That *we* killed'.

Sora: 'But if it wasn't for them, we wouldn't have to fight Sif!'.

Riku sighed in response to this, but hey at least they were eager to get this boss fight over with as much as he did.

They passed through the fog wall and fell into the abyss, landing in nothing but darkness all around them. Looking around for the Four Kings, they spotted one slowly floating towards them.

Riku: 'Oh we found one, great-

And he immediately got a sword to his stomach, knocking him back and taking half his health as the king vanished into the darkness.

Riku: 'Son of a bitch that hurt!'.

Sora: 'Aww man, they can teleport! Its like fighting Xemnas all over again!'.

The king reappeared and performed a horizontal slash that Sora blocked, and while he was doing so Kairi slashed at him with her halberd, two hits in and taking a decent chunk of his health. But just before she could step back, she was struck by another king that appeared out of nowhere, this time with a vertical slice that, given her vitality, almost killed her.

A third one began casting magic at Riku, who…forgot to heal and received a smack to the face full of magical agony.

Riku: 'GUYS! The third fucker's a wizard!'.

**You Died.**

Kairi was unfortunately "ganked" by two who seem to have a strong prejudice against pyromancers and slaughtered her just as Sora was blasted by an arc of magic. Suffice to say they didn't last much longer than Riku…

**You Died.**

Attempt 2.

Riku: 'Ok, so they have magic, four versions, and physical attacks…'.

Sora: 'This is gonna be rough…'.

Kairi: 'I WILL AVENGE SIF!'.

Riku: 'How can you avenge Sif when YOU killed him?'.

Kairi: 'BY BEING UNDER THE BELIEF THAT BECAUSE OF THESE HORRIBLE EXCUSES FOR KINGS WE WERE FORCED TO HARM BEAUTIFUL SNOWY WOLF!'.

Kairi rushed head first into the abyss with the boys just quickly rushing in with her, and no sooner did they land on their feet did the kings begin their attacks. Two focused on physical assault but thanks to Sora's shield he managed to keep them off their backs, leaving Riku free hits in.

Another king fired magic at Kairi, who ran across the blackness of the abyss to dodge the massive damage dealing evil. But once the spell ended, Kairi threw a large fire ball at him, burning and eating away at his health. The king retreated into the darkness while the forth flew towards her, swinging the sword.

Riku: 'This is bullshit!'.

Sora: 'Least they're not the nine thousand Kings!'.

Sora was then grabbed by one King, and not only did he do immense damage to him but to add insult to injury they stole one of his humanities.

Sora: 'OH COME ON!'.

A King near Kairi performed an AOE attack that decimated her health and unless you used a magnifying glass, you couldn't even see her health. Squeaking, Kairi ran away and chugged down her healing potion like a addict as Riku was blasted by magic once again. His health dangerously low, and he was forced to run away from the Kings while Sora fought off two.

Kairi: 'RIKU HEAL!'.

Riku: 'I KNOW KAIRI!'.

But knowing doesn't mean preventing, and Riku was once again hit by an array of magic missiles, which killed him once more.

**You Died.**

Kairi: '…why didn't you heal?'.

Riku: 'GO FUCK YOURSELF!'.

With only the couple left, Sora stayed by her side and Kairi kept up the fire tossing at the Kings. Thankfully her last attack struck one down, leaving only three to deal with. Together, Sora kept them off Kairi's back with his shield and when an opportunity struck he attacked them when they were left open, and Kairi would use the fire pillars when they were surrounded and tossed fire balls at them from a distance.

In time they cut down two more Kings, leaving only one to be slain. Forgoing all safety and putting all bets on the metaphorical table, they both rushed in weapons up high. The last King fired the same arc of magic at them, hitting Sora but not even slowing him down. Together with sword and halberd, the two undead brought down the King.

The cutscene played and the King disappeared into nothing, the battle was over.

**Victory Achieved**

Kairi: 'WA-HOO! WE WIN!'.

Sora: 'SUCK IT YOUR JERKNESS!'.

With one Lord Vassal in their possession in their hands, only three remained. The two cheered and even Riku praised their accomplishment, although it was likely he was just glad the battle itself was over and done with.

But…then Kairi and Sora spotted…Frampt?

Just…hanging out over in the distance…looking somehow even more evil than he did before…

Kairi: '…We're leaving Abyss now'.

Sora: 'Yes please'.

Firelink Shrine

After Riku respawned, they came to Frampt and handed him the Lord Vassal, to which he let out a guttural shout. Then he told them he'd take them to Firelink Chamber.

Kairi: 'Ooh, I wonder how he's gonna do that?'.

Riku: 'Probably teleport us or something…'.

Sora: 'Yeah sounds…guys what's he doing?'.

Frampt suddenly leaned his very long neck back, before lurching forward and presumable eating the trio. All three of screamed in terror as he descended down into the his pit.

Riku: 'HOLY FUCKING SHIT!'.

Sora: 'FRAMPT YOU TRAITOR!'.

Kairi: 'DO NOT CONSENT! DO NOT CONSENT!'.

Firelink Chamber

After…that trauma inducing act, Frampt dropped the three right before the altar where they would place one of the Lord Souls upon it.

As Frampt explained more plot stuff, the trio just silently placed the soul the vessel and instead of waiting for Frampt to take them back home to the Firelink…they just used the homeward bones.

Sora: 'That was the most disturbing thing I have ever seen…and been through…'.

Riku: '…I'm gonna kill him when we're done'.

Kairi: 'DO NOT CONSENT!'.

So after all that, the trio agreed to call it a night and decide who'd be their next boss, but before then Kairi and Riku decided to follow Sora's example and join Covenants.

After, Kairi joined the Chaos Servants the moment she learned they can teach her even more powerful pyromancies, she practically salivated at the thought. Anyways, Riku joined the Darkwraith Covenant, hearing it was gonna give him some unique armour and weapons.

But before Riku could do anything, they switched off their consoles, bid everyone a good night and ended their session.

Riku had wisely dodged a bullet…

Next Day!

When Kairi came home after some grocery shopping, she wasn't expecting to see a small white puppy sitting on the counter, wagging her tail and looking up at her. Beside the pup was Naminé, petting her.

Naminé: '…canon ending, you adopted baby Sif'.

A/N:

Glad that's over…I was struggling with this, doing two bosses back to back gave little creativity for this, so next time we're back to dungeon raging! YAY!

The Covenant idea was suggested by Apprentice to Fantasy, and they have also given me a cruel twist of fate of an idea for the next chapter~ Massive thanks again for that!

Thanks for reading, if you all wanna choose the next dungeon, by all means! As always, stay awesome but more importantly stay safe!


	13. Chapter 13

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 13

Aggressive dark skeletons

After some debate between them all, the trio decided to further delay the trip to Anor Londo and head for the Catacombs where Nito the Gravelord reside.

They found the dungeon was located past the skeletal graveyard. Thankfully these didn't provide that much issue to the more "seasoned" trio, as one strike from Sora was enough to put them all down on by one, even the giant skeletons were pushovers.

Kairi: 'Its actually nice we don't have to worry about just accessing the freaking dungeon'.

Riku: 'Yeah, thank god Sora's weapon is so overpowered now'.

Sora: 'Skeletons got nothing on me!'.

Finally, they climbed down the staircase that led them into the Catacombs, but they also encountered their first spot of troubles.

Darkness…

Sora: '…ok, this is dark…'.

Kairi: 'How are we…wait what was-

Kairi was unexpected attacked by something that exploded, and instantly killed her.

Kairi: '…WHAT!?'.

**You Died.**

Riku: 'WAIT WHAT KILLED YOU!?'.

Kairi: 'I don't know, its too darn dark!'.

Sora: 'Ok, we're gonna have to try and move on-

Sora unfortunately made a misstep and fell into the abyss, yelling about it being too dark and died with Kairi. Riku was then attacked by a skeleton, who despite being no different from the other ones, distracted him long enough for whatever killed Kairi to put him down as well.

**You Died.**

Riku: '…this is gonna be fun…'.

Kairi: 'Aww come on! How are we supposed to navigate this if we can't see?'.

Sora: 'Maybe we need an item or something'.

Kairi: '…*sigh* wiki time…'.

Five minutes later…

Kairi: 'Ok…we need a Skull Lantern if we want this to be easier for our eyes…problem is: you can only get it FURTHER inside the Catacombs…'.

Sora: 'Aww man!'.

Kairi: 'We'll just have to be extra careful with our steps and avoid whatever the heck exploded and murdered us'.

Riku: 'Oh joy…'.

In order to preserve and continue, Sora went ahead with his shield up while Kairi and Riku performed ranged combat against their enemies, they took their time when navigating through the spiral of stairs. The explosions certainly did a lot of damage to Sora's stamina, and he took a few hits here and there but fortunately it wasn't enough put him down.

In time they came to a corridor leading out to a cliff of bones, and on their left was a skeleton. He didn't last long.

Down the ladder, into a open area where more skeletons slowly stood up.

Riku: 'Time to murder'.

They fought the skeletons using their go-to strategy, Kairi burns in the back, her boys strike out in the front. The skeletons went down relatively easily due to their high levels and weaponry, but for some reason, when they fell a few minutes later that got back up.

So they killed them again…and then they got back up again…and again, and again, and again.

Sora: 'Ok so, we're killing them, so why aren't they dying!?'.

Kairi: 'PLEASE tell me there not immortal!'.

Riku: 'It sure as hell feels like they are- OH MY GOD!'.

Riku was suddenly parried by the skeleton he was fighting, and was gutted instantly. He took several hits before and never healed up, which meant he was already dead.

**You Died.**

Riku: 'You fucking dickless bastards!'.

Kairi: 'Talk about kicking below the belt…'.

Riku: 'THEY HAVE NOTHING TO KICK!'.

Kairi: '…think you're taking this a LITTLE bit personal, buddy'.

Sora: 'I'M BEING KILLED!'.

**You Died.**

Sora: 'I'm dead'.

Kairi turned to see herself surrounded by skeletons, undying and certainly wanting her own skeleton to join their company. She decided to book it and made a dash for a corridor on her left. Running through it, she found another open where on her left was a giant hole in the wall where even more skeletons were popping up for her flesh.

She ran through the hole in the wall and ran down the hill. Kairi then spotted a skeleton in robes using pyromancy…and promptly murdered it.

Kairi: 'There can be only one spammer of pyromancy'.

After that, she turned to threw another giant ball of fire at the skeleton hunting her, and this time when she killed it, it stayed dead. Plus? There be a bonfire near her.

Kairi: 'Ok, figured out that these nasties can stop coming back if we kill their own mage person!'.

Sora: 'Wish we knew that earlier…'.

She waited for the boys to respawn and after she pulled the lever near her, they ventured deeper into the darkness. They climbed a hill which leads them to an open spot and could see before them a sniping skeleton waiting for its next victim. Sora gave the skeleton a greeting in the form of a lightning bolt to their face, one hit kill confirmed. They moved onwards to the left, took down a skeleton that was in their way.

When they reached another bridge, two skeletons were waiting there. Riku was the first to run in, cutting down one of the remaining skeletons, but when he rolled, was right at the edge, and then the skeletal warrior managed to hit him and plunge him to his death.

**You Died.**

Riku: 'GOD…'.

Kairi: 'Watch your steps Riku~'.

Riku: 'Watch your mouth Kairi…'.

The two remaining players crossed the bridge after killing the skeleton, entering a cavern of sorts, where they were ambushed by a party of skeletons. Sora parried their attacks while Kairi performed the fire pillars attack. The burning worked to a degree, killing one but the others still stayed fighting. Until Sora remembered sword hurts people, and with several slashes and swings, they all fell to him.

Further in they found this small cavern to be more a morgue, with several coffins stacked in rows, with skeletons often popping out of their makeshift beds to attack the two. They found them to be nothing more than minor annoyances, and thankfully all the other skeletons were on the same level of power.

Eventually they exited the cave, seeing a bridge before them with three skeletons waiting for them at the end of the bridge, with one of the skeletons being a necromancy.

Kairi: 'Sora. Lightning this skeleton'.

Sora: 'LIGHTNING!'.

One majestic toss of his new found spell, Sora struck home with one strike, he brought down the necromancer.

Kairi: 'Riku, have you put down your summon sign?'.

Riku: 'Yeah, yeah. Just give…there we go'.

After respawning Riku, they decided to explore the pathway on their right to see what other treasures and/or good stuff lied there. More of the explosive skulls floated towards them, which immediately Kairi glared at them with intense animosity and hate. However, Sora came up with an idea. He'd run towards the skulls, and immediately ran back before it could explode and harm him. They repeated this strategy until they finally were safe from the explosive skulls.

Skeletons were all cut down where they stood, which was a massive relief for the party to have much easier enemies to deal with for a change. At the end of the path, Kairi found and pushed another lever, which should have done something.

Sora: '…so what did that do?'.

Kairi: 'I dunno…'.

Riku: 'Its ok, its an RPG, pulling and pushing the levers usually does something quest relating'.

They returned to the bridge, crossed over it and slew the other skeletons that awaited for them…well they killed one. Kairi rolled as a skeleton made a strike to her…but unfortunately its strike momentum was so great, they literally threw themselves off the bridge to their demise.

Riku: 'HA! SUCKERS!'.

Kairi: 'NA NANA NA NA!'.

Sora: 'You're "boned"!'.

Kairi/Riku: *Groan*

After that painful exchange, they entered another cavern where more skeletons resided…and then were met with crushing defeat through fire and steel. The trio turned to the right and found an empty room with a narrow path of rock before them set between two mud like ground. They moved on, but Kairi fell through a hole with a squeak.

Kairi: 'NO! NOT THE PIT!'.

Landing on her feet, Kairi immediately raised her halberd in ready for surprise attack but found nothing that wanted her blood. Slowly, Kairi proceeded through the narrow passage way, dodging the spike wall traps, killed a crystal lizard for some gem, and eventually came to the end of the passage with but a ladder awaiting her.

Kairi: 'Huh…that was worryingly forgiving…'.

Climbing upwards, she found herself in a similar room, and once she took a step on the muddy step, she fell through it once again. Kairi let out a yell of annoyance as she fell back to where the lever she pushed earlier. Sighing, Kairi raced back to the bridge, huffing and grumbling about lousy architecture as she dodged more of the exploding skulls and finally reached the bridge…

"Foreverlonewolf424" invaded.

Kairi: 'OH FLIP OFF WOULD YOU!?'.

The invader arrived on the bridge, wearing Smough's armour and using Ornstein's spear, taunting her. Kairi let out a deep breath of rage, eyes narrowed at the horrible fun hating invader. Luckily Riku and Sora made their appearance behind them, armed to the teeth with (hopefully Kairi thought) equal amount of hatred for the invader.

Then the invader turned to Riku and Sora, then back to Kairi…and then bowed at them, before running off the bridge and into the abyss.

Sora/Riku/Kairi: O.O.

Sora: '…WE WIN!'.

Kairi: 'Uh, y-yeah! You better run!'.

After that easy win, they went back into the cavern, heading straight this time as opposed to going right again, no need to pay homage to Pitfall anymore after all. They came to a spiral stone staircase, and like every time they had to explore staircases, Sora went first with his shield up high like a paranoid lunatic. So far their biggest obstacles were, you guessed it, more skeletons that all went down easy for Riku.

At the end of the stairs, went behind it and found even more stairs, even more narrow than the last one. This time when they circled once, a fireball smacked Sora right in the face.

Sora: 'GAHHH! SON OF A GUN WHO DID THAT!?'.

Another necromancer was throwing these fire balls at Sora, and likely will be resurrecting its fallen comrades again if left unchecked. So Kairi, diplomatically, had a solution.

Kairi: 'GIANT FIRE BALL TO YOUR FACE!'.

It ended in a heated debate but she got results.

Another lever pushed, they walked back out and further down the staircase which ended with a literal cliff hanger. They all peered down to see nothing but darkness, which they all had to chuck up to being a leap of faith sort've situation, so they figured before they commit possible suicide, they agreed it best to find a bonfire first before they died and lose their souls, progress…and sanities.

Kairi: 'Back up the stairs boys…'.

Sora/Riku: *Loud groans*.

After going back to the bridge, they could see a pathway beneath the bridge just by the entrance of the cavern they exited. They all jumped down, Kairi having to take a healing potion to replenish her small vitality. They continued forward to a wall where Sora smacked with his sword and managed to find it to be an illusionary.

Sora: 'Secret passages!'.

Kairi: '…how did you know?'.

Sora: 'Dunno, just felt like it was ab illusion'.

Riku: 'Just shut up and accept it Kairi…'.

Up one flight of stairs, they found a bonfire, lit it, restored their healing potions and did some levelling up…mostly the boys.

Riku: 'Kairi…'.

Kairi: 'I. AM. NOT. INVESTING. IN. VITALITY!'.

Riku: 'YOU HAVE THE VITALITY OF A WET TISSUE PAPER!'.

Kairi: 'YOU'RE A WET TISSUE PAPER!'.

Riku: 'THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!'.

Kairi: 'YOU DON'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!'.

Riku: 'INVEST IN FUCKING VITALITY!'.

Kairi: 'YOU INVEST IN FUCKING VITALITY!'.

Riku: 'GAHHH! Sora, help me out!'.

Sora: 'Kairi, please invest in vitality'.

Kairi: '…no'.

Sora: 'Well I tried…'.

Riku spent five minutes screaming in rage…

After the poor meltdown of Riku's patience, they returned to the cliff hanger of the stairs, and Sora made the first leap…and died.

Sora: 'OH CRAP!'.

**You Died.**

Sora: 'Guys, there's a platform to jump on! Watch your step!'.

Kairi: '… *sigh* we'll wait for you to respawn…'.

So, while they waited for Sora to get close enough for him to put his sign down, Riku was texting Axel about a bet, and Kairi was playing with Sif.

Kairi: 'Who's a good puppy? Who's a goodie widdle puppy who we totally didn't hurt before?'.

Sif yipped and pranced around the girl on the bed, wagging his tail. He rolled on his back for her to scratch his stomach, to which Kairi did so gleefully.

Kairi: 'Good puppy~ My rage for this game is being absorbed by your fluffy ness'.

Riku: 'Sure you're not exaggerating?'.

Kairi: 'RIKU! Look at this wonderful puppy and tell me you can't feel the anger evaporate from your body!'.

Riku: 'I can't see Kairi…'.

He then got a video message on Discord from Kairi and opened it up. It was showing Kairi lifting Sif to the camera, the puppy panting with his tongue out with his tail wagging wildly.

Kairi: 'LOOK AT HIM! LOOOK AT HIM!'.

Riku immediately closed the video…

Soon Sora returned, and after some more careful footwork, and fell through a ceiling with yelps. They found themselves in a narrow morgue, but this place looked more refined and preserved than everywhere in the Catacombs…

But then before they could even move, a very large skeleton marched towards them with…a skeletal beard…? He marched towards them with a pick axe in hand, which set them all on edge.

Riku: 'HE'S A BIG BOY!'.

Kairi: 'Sora, kindly get in front of us'.

Strangely, instead of attack them, the skeleton smashed a wall which created another pathway for them. He even told them get lost because apparently they'll spoil his focus before he went back into the darkness.

Sora/Riku/Kairi: '…ok'.

They found a bonfire behind them and lit it, before they approached the giant skeleton, which turned out to be a blacksmith of all things. After some weapon and armour upgrading, Kairi then remembered seeing a ladder near the bonfire cavern. Thinking it may be best to make sure they obtain whatever useful item they could grab, Kairi suggested they go back,

Sora: 'Aww, do we have to?'.

Kairi: 'Come on, how bad can it be?'.

So, they returned to the upper levels again using the homeward bones, exited from the cavern and found a ladder just on their left. They climbed it and spotted a man by a lever, bald headed and…looking very evil…

After some banter with Patches (bald guy) with them all answering "no" to the cleric question, they left the guy to his devices and proceeded to finish off this area entirely. Following the path, they came to a bridge where at the end of it was a fog wall lying in wait.

Riku: 'Oh goodie…another fog wall…*sigh* come on, lets just get this over with…'.

They all walked on the bridge, but upon reaching the halfway point, suddenly the bridge began to turn and turned, letting the trio fall slip off the bridge and fall to their deaths.

Riku: 'WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?'.

**You Died. **

Kairi: 'W-What!? What happened!?'.

Sora: 'WHY!?'.

Riku: 'Wait a minute…Kairi, did you use that lever near Patches?'.

Kairi: 'No, I didn't…oooooohhh that bald faced jerk!'.

Respawning, they all returned where Patches was, and just as they suspected he was nearer the lever and had likely activated it. He even acted like an innocent by stander, claiming he slipped and hit the lever by complete coincidental accidence. He had the gall to even ask if he caused them any trouble, to which they all responded with a resounding "YES".

Patches even tried to play it off as a simple "All's well ends well" and gave them humanity. Deciding they had at the very least gained something for their grievances, they all agreed to leave him alive for now and with luck he'd get his comeuppance. Riku used the lever and they returned to the bridge, crossed over it and approached the fog wall. ANOTHER set of stairs for them to explore, they climbed down and explored it.

Skeletons murdered, items looted and dungeon explored, they had all agreed to return to skeleton blacksmith's place, rest at the bonfire and concluded to finally end it here.

Kairi: 'Tired now…lets call it a day'.

Sora: 'Sounds good…can I see my boy?'.

Kairi: 'Sif, you wanna see papa?'.

Sif yipped happily.

Riku: 'Oh vey…'.

A/N: Next time is the Nito and his scary skeletons~

Patches…do I need to say more? Well thanks for readying as always, let me know what you all thought of this one!

Stay awesome but more importantly stay safe!


	14. Chapter 14

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 14

The opposite of "Nito", Kairi's falls from grace and swift retribution

After some preparation, the trio respawned at the bonfire nearby Patches and had, after Kairi checked the wiki walkthrough for a potentially less stress inducing and hair tearing incidents, and found out they needed to take several leaps of cliffs to climb down.

Which shouldn't be an issue for the trio…but…

Kairi: 'DARN IT!'.

**You Died.**

Riku: 'And that makes that the what, sixth death since we've started this route?'.

Kairi: 'Shut your face!'.

Sora: 'Kairi, I think Riku's right about your vitality…'.

Kairi: 'I'LL DIE FIRST BEFORE I CONFORM TO INVESTING VITALITY!'.

Riku: 'You *have* died before investing vitality…'.

Kairi let out a growl, muttering about Riku's death count being higher than both hers and Sora's combined, and respawned again. She made the attempt again, landing on the first platform with only a bread crumb worth of health remaining. She drank her healing potion back to full and hopped down to the second platform where the boys waited, again resulting in her health being reduced to a crumb.

Kairi: 'Why did we have to go this way?'.

Riku: 'You chose this path!'.

Kairi: 'Rhetorical question!'.

They looked over the cliff to see skeleton wheels were rolling against the walls below them, a total of three of them.

Sora: 'I think we found the next baddies…'.

Kairi dealt with them using of course, pyromancy, killing them all. However, when they all jumped down, more of those rolling skeletons were now charging towards them. Because of their speed and their hit and run tactics, they were struggling against them.

Riku: ' I (hit) HATE (hit) ALL OF YOU!'.

Kairi performed the flame pillar pyromancy, which burnt a good few of them to death, and with Riku viciously swinging his great sword around. The skeletons were all killed and…well, dead again…for real this time. After that, they went down a narrow corridor, always on guard for more of those rolling skeletons, which Riku was oddly eager to murder more of the annoying skeletons on wheels.

Kairi: 'I swear to god I think I'm starting to hate this place more than I did with Anor Londo…or Blighttown…'.

Riku: 'Least the skele-pricks aren't too hard to deal with…'.

Sora: 'Wonder what's down here?'.

They found themselves in another hallway filled with coffins, with a bonfire.

Kairi: 'Hey a bonfire, sweet!'.

Riku: 'Least we don't have to worry about dropping from those freaking platforms again…'.

Sora: 'Umm, guys?'.

The two looked to see the blacksmith from earlier, and then the bonfire which upon proper look, was already alit and ready to be used…like it could've been earlier.

Kairi: '…so, I didn't have to jump and die six times…'.

Riku: '…we didn't have to waste our time….'.

Sora: '…yup'.

Kairi: *Deep intake of breath*

Sora: '…three…two…one…'.

Kairi: 'FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCC-

LATER!

Kairi: 'I hate this game. I this everything it represents, it stood for and EVERYONE in it! EXCLUDING SIF!'.

Riku, possibly using the wisdom of being a keyblade master, WISELY kept his snarky comments to himself and refused to even entertain the thought of teasing Kairi's fury at the game, all the while Sora was doing the "Praise the Sun" emote regularly to pass the time…and possibly praying the sun would sooth Kairi's rage…or keep him safe.

Kairi: 'GAHH!'.

She panted and growled, glaring at the screen with contempt and even squeezing her new controller in barely contained rage, and the fact it costed her at least a hundred munny alone was supposed to encourage her to keep a better lid on her pot of rage…but she was starting to believe a hundred munny was pocket change by this point.

Riku: '…Sora say something'.

Sora: 'Like what?'.

Kairi: 'Something positive…please'.

Sora: '…You're a better cook than Aqua!'.

Kairi: '…I love you so much right now…'.

After that, they proceeded to head for the opposite direction they previously explored, killing more of the skeletons, found some soul items and a few bits of equipment that will ultimately be collecting dust for the rest of their playthrough. They came to a fog wall at long last, and with some groans, they passed through it and jumped into a large coffin like area.

Before them stood the infamous boss known as Pinwheel, one of the few with a backstory but one of the common with a tragic backstory.

Riku: 'Ok, he doesn't look so tough but remember trust nothing!'.

Kairi: 'FIRE BALL!'.

Sora: 'LIGHTNING!'.

Together Sora and Kairi tossed their respective elemental attacks right at Pinwheel just as Riku rushed in, hoping to combine their attacks into one over powered strike that would at the very least deal enough damage to take his health down to a quarter or if they were super duper lucky, halfway down.

But they got neither of that, instead…they killed him.

As soon as the lightning and fireball struck the boss…it died. Riku didn't even get halfway to him by the time his health practically vanished, and if he did, he probably could have one shot him. They all stood there in shock, the boss faded away into nothing, they got more souls and the Rite of Kindling.

Kairi: '...what?'.

Sora: 'We won…?'.

Riku: 'B-But, we just, you guys just…I didn't even get a hit in!'.

This was very likely their easiest victory that they had and very likely will ever gain. At least they'll enjoy it while it lasts. The party climbed out of the coffin and approached the path that led further in the dungeon, but now before them was pure darkness, even thicker and less visibility for them.

Sora: 'Well now what do we do?'.

Riku: 'Other than aimlessly wander around the dark until we either get ambushed, fall into pits or our deaths and get lost?'.

Artistcrafter44 Invaded

Kairi: 'OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH JOY!'.

Sora: 'It's been awhile…'.

Kairi: '…I'm going to murder them…'.

The invader appeared before the trio but instead of attacking, they simply waved at them. The boy were on guard though while mentally praying Kairi's unholy rage and hate for invasions would do the work as usual. But the invader was then dropping stuff around the ground for them before performing the "Praise the Sun" gesture (A sun gal after all~) and then used the black phantom stone to leave their world.

Riku: '…well that was anti-climactic'.

Kairi: 'She made the wise choice'.

Sora approached the items and found they were the lanterns Kairi had told them about. Which meant they finally had a source of light for them to navigate through this bleak and miserable place of darkness.

Riku: 'Things are looking up for us'.

Kairi: 'And very likely something awful will come out of nowhere and make us question our life choices…'.

With that wonderous pessimism in mind, they proceeded on through the dark, Riku using the lantern while Sora was in front with the shield up and Kairi prepped to throw fire balls. Crossing a coffin used a bridge for them, Riku turned down to a slope and approached it…and was then greeted by a giant skeleton that literally jumped out from the dark.

Riku: 'JESUS CHRIST!'.

Riku swerved around the attack in time before his flesh could feel pain and struck back, killing the giant with one hit. So to add more the list of troubles they will likely encounter, now they must deal with jump scares…

Kairi: '…have I mentioned I hate this place?'.

Riku: 'Right there with you'.

After that jump scare they climbed down the hill and crossed another coffin down to the next platform, and round a corner to the right. They encountered another giant skeleton that brought its giant sword down on them, hitting Riku.

Riku: 'AGAIN!?'.

Sora: 'LIGHTNING!'.

He tossed another bolt of lightning at the monster, hitting it and taking almost all its health, Riku finished it off with one strike. Behind it was another soul granting item, but nothing else but a corpse. So they re-traced back and slide down another coffin to the next platform, but just barely evaded an arrow.

Kairi: 'SKELETON ARCHERS!?'.

Sora: 'And they can see in the dark!? THAT'S FAIR!'.

They ran…but were then ambushed by two giant skeletons, who for some reason seem to have it out for Riku as they both struck him and killed him.

Riku: 'BASTAAAAARRRRDS!'.

**You Died.**

Sora ran in with his great shield upheld, his defence greatly suppressing the attacks of the skeletons, and in turn Kairi burned their bones to ashes.

Sora: 'Skeletons, skeletons and MORE skeletons! I'm getting sick of them!'.

Kairi: 'Least they're easy to beat…'.

Riku: 'SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!'.

The two survivors slid down another coffin, though Kairi slid more so to the right and fell on a platform, finding a humanity. She then joined Sora below and both waited for Riku to re-join them.

Riku: 'UGHHHHHHH! I HATE THIS PLACE!'.

After three more deaths, he finally re-joined his friends. They made a few steps forward and encountered Patches once again. Immediately they were all on guard when they laid eyes on him, and Kairi was already prepping the massive fire ball.

Sora approached him and after some banter, Patches revealed there is some treasure before them, and they could see several beautiful lights at the bottom of a cliff.

Kairi: 'Treasure?'.

Riku: 'Oh sweet, let's have a look'.

The trio approached the cliff, and indeed they could see the white wisps of loot before them but nothing of sparkling treasure Patches had mentioned. It was then Kairi realized they were duped, but their naivety wasn't going unpunished.

Patches suddenly kicked the trio down into the pit, leaving them stranded in the darkness. He laughed at their misfortune, bragging about the treasure was their trinkets that he'd most likely strip off their corpses.

Kairi: 'I CAN'T BELIEVE WE FELL FOR HIS TRICK AGAIN! WHAT IS WRONG WITH US!?'.

Riku: 'THAT BALD BASTARD!'.

Sora: 'Well at least there are no enemies down here…that's something at least…'.

While there were no hostile NPC's, sadly there were other…troubles…

Waterdudesinger464 Invaded.

Ninjagirl1997 Invaded.

Sora: '…why?'.

Kairi: 'DEMYX!'.

Riku: 'Oh fuck me…'.

The invaders spawned in the bit with them, the sun bro was now glowing in goldish red while the other was a female dressed in leather armour with daggers in hand.

Demyx: 'Hey~'.

Riku: 'Oh no…the pro…'.

Demyx: 'Hey no need to be so cold bro!'.

?: 'Hi Sora~'.

Sora: 'Yuffie!? What are you doing here!?'.

Yuffie: 'Invading your world, probably kill ya for souls~ Usual mischief'.

Kairi: '…'.

Yuffie: 'So who want's to go first-

Yuffie didn't get a chance to finish for she was suddenly covered in fire that drained almost her entire health in one strike. She let out a shriek of surprise and started to roll to escape, drinking her potion.

Yuffie: 'HOLY SHIT! Who did that!?'.

Kairi: 'I WILL BURN YOU'.

Yuffie started to run at Kairi, but the red head was already erecting pillars of fire that surrounded her and stopped Yuffie from getting close. The invader jumped back in surprise, but doing so Kairi rushed in and with her small shield she recent equipped and halberd, she struck at Yuffie.

The invader attacked but Kairi parried Yuffie's strike and riposted, killing her and kicking her remains off the edge and into the abyss below.

Yuffie: '…FUCK'.

Kairi then turned on Demyx…

Demyx: '…on second thought…'.

And he wusses out by using the black phantom stone, leaving their world.

Kairi: '…moving on…'.

They managed to escape from the pit (not much of a trap if there's a ladder for you to use) and even managed to find Patches in the same spot once again. And like before, he tried to play it off by saying he has these urges to do the bad temptations of businesses, and even asked them to forgive his wicked deed.

Now, normally, the trio were a forgiving bunch and let bygones be bygones…bbuuuut….

Kairi: 'How about, we give YOU taste of your own medicine?'.

Kairi then proceeded to repeatedly kick Patches, again and again until she FINALLY kicked him off a cliff. Except unlike the trap they fell for, this was a pit to hell, and Patches fell to his untimely demise.

Kairi: 'OOOOH DON'T WORRY PATCHES! THERE'S TREASURE IN THE NEXT WORLD! YOUR HUMANITY!'.

Sora: '…I think Kairi didn't like him…'.

After they ensured Patches was no more, the trio explored the catacombs, fighting giant sneaky skeletons, navigating the darkness and in time came to a cliffside pathway. They managed to make their way to another corridor of darkness (HA!), where they fought moving totem poles of skeletons. All met the same end, Riku's impatience and great sword.

They fought they way past the Pinwheel lookalikes, baby skeletons that Kairi refused to harm (babies are babies), and finally came to the fog wall, where Nito resided. They passed through the wall and fell into a pit where they promptly lost half there half.

Well the boys did…Kairi?

**You Died.**

Kairi: 'ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I DIDN'T EVEN FIGHT THE BOSS!'.

Sora: 'Well this is a sure sign of badness…'.

Nito arrived on battlefield, summoning a horde of skeletons for the boys to fight, yet before they could even heal themselves, a sword shot up from below Riku and struck him, killing him.

Riku: 'THAT SKELE FUCKER SHOVED A SWORD RIGHT UP MAINSTREET!'.

**You Died.**

Sora: 'Ok, Kairi died before the boss even showed up, Riku got a sword up his butt…welp, I'm doomed'.

Sora was easily overwhelmed by skeletons who hacked away at the boy, and thus the next lord proved himself to be a new form of misery for them.

**You Died.**

Attempt 2

This time after some searches, Kairi figured out if she wore super lighter armour the fall damage would decrease in damage. So she went back to her pyromancy robes and together the three jumped down back into the fight.

Kairi did survive this time, with only a smidgen of health remaining and just as she attempted to heal herself, much like Riku, she was struck by the hidden sword and died immediately.

Kairi: '…'.

**You Died.**

Sora: '…'.

Riku: '…'.

Kairi: '…*Slams her head against the desk* your own your own boys…'.

So without their pyromancer, the boys were already in deep trouble. They fought the skeletons, dodging Nito's bulls*** sneak attack and his other attacks.

They managed to reach Nito to at least hit him a good few times, dealing decent damage to his health bar. Until Nito began to glow, his aura intensified, and then he fired a wave of darkness at the boys. Riku was hit and took a massive hit to his hit points while Sora managed to negate a chunk of the damage using his shield.

Then Nito swung his sword at them and managed to hit Sora but it didn't do much harm to him since, again, he blocked it with his shield…but was poisoned.

Sora: 'Of course he uses poison!'.

Sora tried to use antidote for his poison, but was he ambushed by a giant skeleton whose attack was enough for the poison to finish off Sora.

**You Died.**

Riku hacked the skeletons down, but the combined difficulty of Nito's legions of skeletons and his own attacks were far too much for him, and by the time he managed get Nito to at least halfway down to his health, Riku had used all his healing potions.

Plus the skeletons simply refused to die, everyone that fell, they got back up to attack him. In the end Nito's sneak attack did him in once again.

**You Died.**

Riku: '…fuck…'.

Attempt 3

After a quick research, they learned they needed to use "Divine" weapons in order to put down the skeletons permanently, so after a quick upgrade and change in weaponry, they came up with a new strategy.

So now the boys changed their weapons with Riku using a zweihander and Sora using a broad sword, Kairi…well…

Kairi: 'What am I supposed to do? I die every time I fall!'.

Sora: 'Well not with your robes…maybe we could go first, then once everyone is focusing on us you join, heal and burn!'.

Kairi: '…genius~'.

With a new strategy in mind, the boys went down first, ran in and cut down the skeletons. They were close to Nito and all skeletons were focusing on them, which gave Kairi all she needed to drop down and heal…right?

**You Died.**

Sora: 'What happened?'.

Kairi: '…I forgot to equip the pyromancy robes…'.

Riku: '…god damn it Kairi…'.

So on their own again, the fight lasted far longer than the last fight with the skeletons dying at the very least. But Nito's death wave attacks kept them on the defence, or rather to put it in simple terms: delaying the inevitable.

Sora was struck by the poison again, and while he managed to cure it in time, Nito used the same sneak attack and killed him.

**You Died.**

Sora: 'AWW! I hate that move! *Sigh* You're on your own Riku…'.

Riku's eye twitched, fury glowing and his grip on the controller was so tense he was likely going to break it in two. He gritted his teeth and unless it was Sora, he could actually *hear* that grinding noise.

Kairi: 'Riku?'.

Sora: 'You ok…?'.

Riku was then struck by the poison…and he simply lost it.

With an enraged roar that Sora and Kairi jumped in their seats, next thing they knew all they could hear the loud clacking sounds of Riku's controller, swears that would make even Jack Sparrow gap in shock (and possibly amusement).

Riku relentlessly struck and hacked at Nito's body, roaring with rage and by the luck of god, Kingdom Hearts or whatever holy deity, he surprisingly dodged all the attacks, timed them to the point of nailing it to perfection.

Riku: 'DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!'.

He finally slew the Gravelord, bringing his weapon down upon him and making him join his legion.

**Victory Achieved.**

Riku: 'AND STAY DEAD! FOR REAL THIS TIME!'.

Kairi: 'Oh you won! Yes! Good work Riku!'.

Sora: 'Two down, two to go!'.

Demon Ruins

One quick trip the shrine to heal up and re-adjust their gear, they all agreed with reluctance, to go for Izalith. That choice had absolutely nothing to do with Kairi's fear of Anor Londo invaders…maybe. But they all agreed to just spawn at the entrance and call it there, deciding they've had enough of rage induced pass times.

Next Day

Kairi: 'Who's a good puppy? Sif is, yes, he is!'.

She scratched his ears as the puppy yipped happily from her loving worship. On her bed laying her stomach, Kairi was merely waiting for Naminé to join her and Sif to watch a movie together, and speaking of said blonde, she came to her room…with a box.

Naminé: 'Hey…umm, remember how I said I was worried about DS affecting your health?'.

Kairi: 'Yeah?'.

Naminé placed the box on the bed and opened it.

Naminé: 'I think I'm more afraid about Riku's'.

Kairi peered into the box to find several bones in said box, most likely from the butcher's store since they usually sell them too for dogs. But Kairi noticed on the box, it said "Nito's bones, may Sif consume what remains of him".

Sif certainly took to the task and grabbed a bone and began to nibble away at the bone.

Kairi: '…least we've saved on treats for Sif'.

Naminé: 'Least there's some good to come from DS breaking peoples mind…'.

A/N:

*Slams head into desk*

I'm sorry it took so long for this to be done, lot of things came up and work took over. Sorry.

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter regardless, next time the trio visit hell! What fun to have :D.

Thanks for reading, stay awesome but most importantly stay safe!


	15. Chapter 15

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 15

Into Hell…

Sora: 'So…we uh, gotta go through here…?'.

Kairi: 'Yup…literally walking into the fires of hell…'.

Riku: 'Where very likely we'll get burned in more ways than one…'.

Kairi: 'You know there's an illusionary wall back at the bell, but Naminé told me it wasn't worth anything…'.

Riku: 'What do you think it was?'.

Kairi: 'Eh, probably a weapon we'll never use…like those talismans'.

Sora: 'I use that!'.

Naminé's Room

Terra: 'So you told them to ignore Quelaag's Sister?'.

Naminé: 'Yeah after Sif, I think those two have had enough guilt to last a life time…'.

Terra: 'Yeah fair point'.

Namine: '…'.

Terra: '…'.

Naminé: 'So how's Aqua coping?'.

Terra: 'I think she's doing fine…ish?'.

Naminé: 'Do you think they'll ever find out?'.

Terra: 'If you ever hear a scream loud enough for even our master to hear it, you'll know the answer'.

Trio

They lit the bonfire and wisely did NOT strike at the egg carrying monsters, deciding they could do without the souls for a few hours and pressed onwards. So far the entire place reminded them of Mordor just less orcs and more terrifying.

There was lava all over the place, so they wisely remembered lava hurts them (AFTER Sora attempted to walk over it) and stuck to the cliff sides. Crossing over a stone bridge, they came to a fog wall, which sent them all bad vibes and after some hefty debate, Kairi reluctantly approached it and they entered it.

Following the path, the trio of noobs spotted a lava demon, equal in height muscle and of course, terror. Yet it did nothing but stand there, looking at something. Deciding caution was a secondary to curiosity and possibly greed, they spotted there was an altar with loot upon it.

Riku: 'Wait…I have a bad feeling that if we take it, that'll trigger the boss, and bad things will happen'.

Sora: 'Yeah…maybe we should, I dunno, go away and just find where the Lord person vessel thingy is'.

Riku: 'Yeah, absolutely-

Kairi: 'Oh sweet new robes!'.

They both yelled "wait what" and turned to see Kairi altar, depleted of loot. And in a few minutes, they will be depleted of health.

The demon roared, raising its single arm up in the air and brought it down upon the trio. The attack was evaded…and this time they all just ran for the hills.

Riku: 'WHY!? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS KAIRI!?

Kairi: 'I WANTED NEW ROBES!'.

Riku: 'WELL NOW YOU'LL DIE IN THEM!'.

Kairi: 'NUUUUUU!'.

They ran all the way back to the fog wall in some desperate hope perhaps maybe they'll have more distance and just spam more range weaponry. But just as they reached the fog wall, they were all blasted by a wave of flames that did minimal damage at best, but Kairi was just barely alive from it.

Kairi: 'I wished not every attack would reduce my health to a grain…'.

Riku: 'IF ONLY THERE WAS A STAT YOU COULD INVEST SOULS IN TO INCREASE IT!'.

The demon's hand slammed on the ground, trapping them between its hand and the fog wall, but it was left open. The trio did the smartest thing in this past few minutes and started to hack away at the demon, screaming madly in the desperate hope that by mindless striking it'll die faster.

In a bizarre twist of fate…it worked.

One last strike of Riku's great sword, the giant demon's grip was loosened and thus it fell back with all its health drained, falling back into the lava behind them. A large mass of souls were given to them, along with the lava hardening for them to traverse.

They looked at the edge to see a new pathway was opened for them…

Kairi: '…see!? What were worried about?'.

Sora: 'Dying again'.

With that out of the way, they climbed down the hills and stood upon the open plains where the lava was originally, a sense of relief washing over them when they felt no more pain from the hot stuff.

Sora: 'So do we just go forward?'.

Riku: 'Seems like that's our best option seeing as we have no idea where this…wait what was the name of the boss again?'.

Kairi: ' *Wiki check* The bed of Choas…uhh, Witches tried to…recreate the first flame…went bad, turned into demons…baddie now'.

Sora: '…'.

Riku: '…You're the worst story teller I've ever heard'.

Kairi: 'And you're the worst survivor of Dark Souls I've ever seen'.

Riku: '…'.

Sora: 'But do we have to go that way?'.

Kairi and Riku looked forward to see a horde of very beefy demons with large axes, and just as tough looking as a boss. Ironically, they all looked like the Taurus demon they fought days ago, just smaller than it. The trio all gulped at the sight, already knowing how horrible this fight was going to go…and that was the first attempt.

Kairi: 'WELL…..we don't HAVE to go that way! Let's go this way!'.

She pointed to the right where it leads deeper into the city part of the dungeon. They came close to the spot, but on the way they were attacked by a familiar demon, the capra. And like the boss before it, it almost crushed Kairi.

Kairi: 'SECOND THOUGHT WE FIGHT TAURUS DEMONS! TAURUS DEMONS ARE BETTER AND LESS TERRIFYING!'.

Riku: 'YUP SURE GREAT FINE!

And with that Kairi ran away to the demons instead, followed closely by Sora and Riku. Scurrying away from the insect monsters for their lives, they returned to the spot where they first spotted the horde of demons, but kept a good distance to avoid AGRO-ing them.

Sora: 'So…now what?'.

Kairi: '…do you think they're immune to fire?'.

Riku: 'THEY ARE LITERALLY FIRE DEMONS OF HELL! WHAT DO *YOU* THINK!?'.

Kairi: '…VERY high tolerance…'.

Riku: '…Sora's stupidity is infecting you I see…'.

Sora: 'Better than your survival skills…'.

With those "friendly" banters aside, Sora and Riku were the ones who went ahead first, slowly but surely luring out the demons one by one. Sora guarded, Riku attacked and Kairi sniped from a distance with archery. At first it went well, they struck down two of the demons using this tactic, and scoring some solid amount of souls for themselves.

Until they got too close and antagonized the remaining three demons, who charged towards the trio. Kairi immediately ran away as Sora (be it bravely or stupidly) stayed behind to fight them off while Riku was charged by a demon.

The demons were larger and their attacks almost ate all of Sora's stamina when he blocked their attacks, which caused him to resort to rolling and dodging their attacks, and as for Riku, he was not in any better condition to fight back.

The demon's damage was concerning, and with two hits on Riku he was already a breath away from an untimely death. Then a ball of fire burst upon impact on the demon wailing on Riku, and too the silver head's shock/delight, Kairi can INDEED hurt them with fire.

Kairi: 'GUYS! THEY STILL FEEL PAIN VIA FIRE BALLS!'.

Sora: 'What kind of fire demons feel pain from fire?'.

With this revelation of delight, Kairi resumed her fire ball spamming of doom as the boys kept dodging the attacks, rolling and jumping away as Kairi cooked their flesh and consumed their souls for future fire power upgrades.

Finally, the demons were all slain…and that was the only good news.

Bad news? The pathway ended in a dead end, items that were impossible to acquire because, again, lava. With that bust, they had no other choice then to go the pathway where the capra demon was guarding, much to Riku and Kairi's horrible dismay.

Thus they came face to face to the demon, and no sooner did they even take a pixel of a step towards it, the demon ran at them with vigour rivalling a horse.

Sora: 'I think it's a distant cousin from the one we killed!'.

Riku: 'Least there aren't any dogs this time!'.

Though the lack of ferocious canine monsters made this a tad more bearable, it certainly didn't help the trio when the capra was capable of one hit killing them all.

Kairi wisely kept as FAR as she could from the monster, refusing to even breath near it as Sora was smashed into the ground and Riku just barely dodging the attack.

Sora: 'Hey guys! HE HURTS A LOT!'.

Riku rolled behind the demon and brought down the great sword down upon it, killing it. As the demon faded away to nothing, the trio looked at one another.

Sora: '…oh'.

Kairi: 'Talk about a glass cannon…'.

Riku: 'Well I'm not complaining (yet), so let's keep going'.

Travelling a cliff side carefully in order, Sora in front with his shield and Kairi in the back with her fire balls of misery inducer. Carefully, they came to a turn and upon making said turn they saw the demon ruins…and an entire pathway with several capra demons, just waiting for the poor fools that dared tread in their territory.

Also…invasions.

Dark spirit Knight Kirk has invaded.

Kairi: 'OH JOY! NOW WE HAVE INVASIONS!?'.

Riku: 'Don't get your panties in a twist, it's an NPC invader'.

Kairi: 'THEY'RE ALL THE SAME WITH THE SAME HORRIBLE INTENTION!'.

Kairi's words may have some weight to them, as next thing she knew she was getting backstabbed by said invader. With nothing but a grain of health remaining, Kairi started to run away from and left Riku to deal with this person who has no respect for personal space.

Riku struck at the knight, yet he was blocked and struck for all his attacks. Kirk then kicked Riku and broke his guard, and with him staggered…well…

**You Died.**

Riku: '…Kairi I take back what I said'.

Kairi: 'FEEL MY PAIN!'.

Kirk may have murdered Riku and wounded Kairi, but he did not expect Sora to change his drake sword to a giant axe and cleaved the man. Suffice to say Kirk's armour was about as useful as wet tissue paper when defending him from Sora's axe.

The invader perished and left the two behind. So now they needed to figure out how to get past the demons.

Sora: 'Riku, how long will it take you to get back here?'.

Riku: 'A few minutes…'.

Kairi: 'We can wait…and plan…'.

A total of five capra demons, three scrubs…one with a healthy obsession of burning baddies, another walking rock man and one angry boy…Odds not in their favours, unless…

Kairi switched her bow with the giant bow and began to slowly but surely head shoot the demons, one shot-ing them all and while she did that, Sora rushed into the keep them focused on him so that (for whatever reason) the demons would not go after the girl who was attacking them from a distance and doing far more damage.

In time Kairi managed to bring down the final capra demon down, and cleared the path for them to finally progress just in time for Riku to arrive on the scene, regained his souls and they moved onwards.

Climbing down the stairs, they were attacked by a mobile statue that spewed fire at them, but Kairi's own fire was far more damaging and unless the boys were mistaken, she took that attack of fire quite personal.

Kairi: 'THERE IS ONLY ONE FIRE USER PUNK!'.

After they went behind the stairway and came to another pathway where at the end of it, was a large centipede-like monster at the end.

Kairi: '…nope!'.

Riku: 'Oh come on, there's probably good stuff down there!'.

Kairi: 'There could be a mountain of ice cream for all I care! I'm not going anywhere near that bug!'.

Sora: 'Well there is no ice cream mountain…BUUUUUUUT there's a bonfire'.

Kairi: '…'.

Riku: 'Well there's your motive to go! So get your ass moving!'.

Kairi: '…'.

Riku: 'Come on! You've no way out of this! There is literally no other way you can access the bonfire!'.

Kairi: '…Sora go kill it'.

Sora: '…what?'.

Riku: 'Kairi…'.

Kairi: 'Please?'.

Sora: '…YOLO!'.

Sora ran in like a mad man, and despite the beast's high health, damage and poisonous attacks, he managed to bring down the monster and procured the bonfire for them all.

Sora: 'Kairi, scary bug monster is dead now :D'.

Kairi: 'Thank you!'.

Riku: '…whipped…'.

Kairi: 'No…he loves me~'.

Riku groaned in disgust as Kairi lit the bonfire, least now they have a respawn area to save up time. They proceeded onwards, climbing down the stairs where more of the fire spewing demon statues were waiting for them. Luckily Sora and Riku's weapons were powerful enough to deal with the demons with one or two hits. So at the very least they have little to worry about on their way down.

That was until they were attacked by another small Taurus demon, which gave them all a swing of the axe, damaging them but they were still alive with a few scraps of health left. Riku's strikes were enough to take down the monster, like its brothers (or sisters). After some healing, they looked up to see a fog wall was waiting for them.

Kairi: 'Boss up ahead…'.

Riku: 'Ugh, lets just get this over with'.

They took no more than two steps away from the stairs before another one of those centipede monsters suddenly sprouted up from the ground on their right.

Kairi: 'BUG MONSTER!'.

And she promptly ran all the way back up the stairs.

Riku: 'COWARD!'.

Sora: 'BUG MONSTER MUST DIE!'.

Like before, Sora murdered the monster in the name of Kairi's hate/fear of big bug monsters. The monster was slain along with Riku and Sora deciding to just assure their friend, they scoured the area and slew whatever beastie remained behind. Once that was done and over with, the boys waited for her at the fog wall.

Riku: 'Kairi, we're done with bug monsters, come on up'.

Kairi: 'You sure…?'.

Riku: 'Kairi hurry up or I swear to Kingdom Hearts I will tell Naminé who ate the last ice cream bar'.

Never had Sora seen a character run so fast in a video game that almost broke the sound barrier. Not that he could blame her, despite her innocent looks Naminé is a monster when it comes to ice cream.

So with the trio reunited, they passed through the fog wall and found themselves in the ruins. No boss in sight, so that was at least a plus. They climbed down a tree root that helped them reach the ground floor and further ahead were more insect like creatures prancing around the ground. Before Kairi could even scream, Sora lighting them all to oblivion.

They approached the door and opened it up to find more of the bugs, and more lighting was thrown to remove them. They climbed back up the trunk and came to a fog wall.

Sora: 'Well, time for a boss battle'.

Kairi: 'Wonder what kind it'll be?'.

Riku: '…hey, have you guys noticed that they re-used the previous bosses as just regular enemies?'.

Kairi: 'Oh yeah…huh. That's weird, and kinda…lazy?'.

Sora: 'Aww come on, maybe they were rushed?'.

Riku: 'Well hopefully the boss will be cool'.

Entering the fog wall, they saw the name of the boss was called the "Demon Firesage". And upon looking at the demon ahead…it was an exact replica of the Asylum Demon…the first boss.

Riku: '…WHAT!?'.

Kairi: 'That's the Asylum Demon! Just…on fire!'.

Sora: 'Oh come on…that's just lazy- HOLY CRAP HE'S FAST!'.

They all ran away from the giant maul that nearly turned them all to paste.

But unlike their first fight with the Asylum Demon where they were severely underprepared and had worthless weapons, this time the tables had strongly turned against it. With Riku and Sora attacking the slow movement of the demon and Kairi pummelling the demon with fire, they practically demolished the demon in less than half an hour.

The demon fell, the battle was won and Kairi got its weapon. Next to the Iron Golem, this was very likely their easiest boss battle they had ever dealt with.

Sora: '…wanna find a bonfire and call it a night?'.

Kairi: 'Yeah, sure'.

They climbed down a flight of stairs, found a bonfire overlooking a fog wall in the far distance, which gave them all a good idea where it'll take them. So they lit the fire, saved their games, bid each other good nights and called it a night.

Kairi: 'That was, actually a good session… I mean yeah, bug are still horrifying, but hey, I didn't die, didn't rage, and we're making progress'.

Sif yipped in agreement to his master.

Kairi: 'Yeah, it's a good day~'.

Then, she felt a hand gently rest on her shoulder.

Naminé: 'Kairi'.

The red head paled visibly, and her eyes widened with utter terror as Sif scampered beneath Kairi's bed with a scared whimper. Kairi slowly turned to see Naminé with a sinister aura surrounding her body and her eyes glowed with malice.

Naminé: 'Where is the ice cream bar, I specifically said was mine?'.

Kairi couldn't even muster a scream of terror…

A/N: I think this might be the least stressful adventure they had yet…just wait till the bed of Chaos.

Thanks for reading as always, hope you enjoyed this! Stay awesome but more importantly stay safe!


	16. Chapter 16

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 16

Breaking Point

One Hour after session

Sora was currently cleaning his bedroom after he finished with Riku and Kairi, hoping to at least clean up just enough to free his bed from all his clothes and key chains. Humming away, Sora's peaceful evening clean up (yes, he cleans in the evening don't ask), was immediately changed to chaotic.

Why?

A wild Kairi suddenly leapt from his window and onto his floor!

He jumped in shock.

Sora: 'Kairi? What are you-

Kairi: *Grabs him by the shirt and pulls him to her face* 'SAVE ME!'.

Sora: 'F-From what? Heartless? Nobodies? Angry Isa?'.

Kairi: 'WORSE!'. *Pulls him close enough that their noses are touching* 'MUCH WORSE!'.

Then the door knocked below, and Kairi's face turned ashen white and she immediately ran into Sora's closet. She popped her head out first.

Kairi: 'I'M NOT HERE!'.

She slams the door shut, and the knocking below picked up again. Confused and equally terrified, Sora went down the stairs to answer the door, seeing Naminé.

Naminé: 'Hello Sora'.

Despite that sweet smile and innocent stance of hers, Sora felt a terrifying malicious aura from her. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he felt this overwhelming urge to slam the door and run away.

Sora: 'H-hey Naminé, how's it going?'.

Naminé: 'Oh wonderful, but I'm looking for Kairi'.

Sora: 'O-Oh! I-I, umm…I…'.

Naminé: 'Is she here? I'm certain I saw her running this way'.

Sora: '…you sure? Maybe you mistook her someone else?'.

Naminé: 'Probably…but I did see someone who had distinctly similar red hair to hers…and I saw someone leaping into your window'.

Sora began to sweat slowly, that girl was far too perceptive. He had no choice but to perform the "kinda rude but somehow polite way to closing the door to preserve your organs".

Sora: 'Oh its probably nobody, maybe you should go back and see if she came back. Great, see ya Naminé'.

Sora attempted to close the door, but all Naminé did was place her hand on the door and suddenly Sora felt like he was trying to push a boulder. Despite him being stronger than the girl, it was as if she suddenly gained Hercules' strength.

Naminé: 'Oh Sora, I'm sorry to be a nuisance, but I'm absolutely certain I saw her enter your bedroom'.

Sora went from subtly to trying to get her to leave to flat out desperately close the door on the malicious intended girl. Naminé kept that sweet façade up, still smiling softly yet her eyes held that sinister look within them. Effortlessly, Naminé pushed the door open, almost making him fall over, and entered.

Naminé: 'I'll just have a quick peek, and if she's not here, I'm terribly sorry and I'll leave'.

Sora gulped, and followed her up the stairs and into his bedroom. She stood in the centre of his messy room, looking around it and folded her arms. Sora held his breath as she scanned the room, humming. He could feel his heart rate escalate to rapid drum beating, his eyes slowly moving to his closet.

Naminé: 'Hmm…that's odd…I swore I saw her'.

Sora: 'AH WELL! We all make mistakes! No harm done!'.

Naminé: 'Sora'.

He immediately froze on the spot, eyes widened in sheer terror at the ice cold tone in her voice. She turned on him, the smile more close to a woman with murderous intent.

Sora: 'Y-YES!?'.

Naminé: 'You wouldn't be…lying to me, would you?'.

Sora: 'W-W-W-WHAT!? NO! NO I WOULDN'T LIE!'.

Naminé: 'Then, where is she?'.

Sora: '…I know my rights and I am not obligated to answer the question'.

Naminé smirked, and somehow that was even more terrifying. She turned on the closet and approached it. She knocked on it, like she was visiting.

Naminé: 'Kairi~ Come out to play?'.

Kairi: '…'.

Naminé: 'Come on Kairi, I'm not going to harm you'.

Not even Sora would fall for that blatant lie.

Naminé then, opened the closet and saw a terrified Kairi huddling in the corner…with her keyblade at the ready. She looked up at the she-devil incarnated, smiling a wicked smile that even Maleficent would shiver in fear from.

Naminé: 'Found you~'.

Kairi: '…SORA SAVE ME!'.

Naminé: 'Sora, leave this room for a…certain amount of time'.

Sora: '…I'm so sorry Kairi'.

He jumped out his window, leaving Kairi all alone. The girl was looking at Naminé in terror as she locked the door and closed/locked the window behind them, and folded her arms.

Kairi: 'Naminé! I CAN EXPLAIN!'.

Naminé: 'My ice cream bar…now digested in your stomach, murdered. Justice…shall be served'.

Kairi: '…I WANT MY LAWYER!'.

Naminé: 'Overruled…'.

Kairi had no choice, she leapt out of the closest with a yell, bringing the keyblade down on Naminé. Armed or unarmed, Kairi didn't care. That blonde woman was a menace and needed to be stopped. But Naminé simply gripped her wrist, halting her attack easily like a trained master overpowering her arrogant student.

Kairi: '…it was a joke?'.

Naminé: 'The attempt was hilariously pitiful, yes'.

The keyblade vanished, and suddenly Naminé threw Kairi on the ground, making the girl scamper backwards until she hits Sora's bed frame, shaking. With a dark look on her face, Naminé wore a cruel smile with a purple aura surging around her.

Naminé: 'My ice cream will be avenged'.

Kairi let out a scream of sheer terror as Naminé approached…

Suddenly Sora's door was kicked opened…or rather smashed open. In came Riku with Sora behind him, under his arm was a box.

Riku: 'WE'VE COME WITH A PEACE OFFERING!'.

Naminé turned on him, before her eyes fell to the box. Her ice cream bars…safe…and untouched by Kairi.

Sora: 'We offer you twenty ice cream bars in exchange for Kairi's life!'.

Naminé looked at Kairi…then the ice cream…then back at Kairi…and then back to the ice cream. Naminé then approached Riku, wordlessly took the box and headed for the door.

Naminé: 'Your tribute shall be accepted; your maiden is spared'.

The trio were left alone, but there was an air of fear that just refused to leave…

Sora: '…sleep over?'.

Riku: 'I'll grab the blankets…you…comfort her…'.

Sora wrapped his arms around the traumatized girl…

Next day Session!

Sora: 'Ok…so now we just need to find where the boss is right?'.

Riku: 'Yeah, but I heard there's gonna be a lot of hazardous pathways…with lots of fire'.

Kairi: 'Its ok, I'm a pyromancer!'.

Riku: '…you know you're not immune to fire, right?'.

Kairi: '…one day I will be'.

The trio climbed down the wooden pathways and after some careful platforming, they managed to reach the ground floor of the long expansive hallway before them. Ahead was another fog door. After some preparation, they passed through it.

Passing the door, they spotted farther ahead was another fog door to be explored…but that was if they could get pass the boss…which was a demonic fire centipede. It leapt from the high wall ahead of them and landed before them, looking more like a demonic centipede octopus with multi-centipede heads and body parts.

Sora: '…that's terrifying'.

Riku: 'Ugh, looks like something Axel would draw if he was high…times ten'.

Kairi: 'KILL IT WITH FIRE!'.

The monster leapt and charged at them; they ran in to met it. It's much larger size covered more ground for itself along with only being small patches of dry land, it took half of the rocky land while the rest of the body was standing in the lava. Luckily for them, Riku's great sword practically eat the boss' health while Sora's did great damage.

Things were going well, until the beast snatched up Kairi and began to munch on her.

Kairi: 'I'M BEING NOMMED! HELP!'.

Sora: 'RIKU STAB IT FASTER!'.

Riku: 'I'M NOT STABBING I'M SLASHING!'.

The monster threw Kairi aside like a dog finishing a chew toy, not killing her miraculously. But thankfully one last final slash from Riku brought the monster down. A swift victory for them for a nice change…

Kairi: 'IF I GET MUNCHED ONE MORE TIME IN THIS GAME I SWEAR TO KINGDOM HEARTS I WILL DESTROY EVERY COPY OF THIS HORRIBLE GAME!'.

Sora: '…so wanna continue?'.

Kairi: '…sure…'.

With the demon's death, Kairi obtained its ring, and to her delight, it reduces lava damage. So she equipped it along with a ring that granted fire resistance, and too her glee, she walked on lava without being harmed.

Kairi: '…I am immune to fire now'.

Riku: 'Aww that's bullshit!'.

Kairi: 'SUCK IT AXEL! I can use fire AND I'm immune to it!'.

Twilight Town

Axel: '…'.

Isa: '…Lea?'.

Xion: 'You ok?'.

Axel: 'I feel like someone was insulting me…'.

Roxas: 'Hmm…probably'.

Isa: 'On that we can all agree'.

Xion: 'Yup~'.

Rage Trio

The party crossed over to where the fog wall was originally, after Sora and Riku struggled because they weren't immune to fire. Kairi smugly awaiting them happily before they arrived and chugged the last of their healing potions.

Kairi: 'Its so nice not to be so easily killed~'.

Riku: 'Sod off ya chew toy wannabe'.

Kairi: 'Whatever you say toasty~'.

They walked down a cavern passageway and by the end of it they encountered a very depressed Solaire, who is somewhat saddened that he couldn't find his sun, but plus side there was a bonfire for them to finally use. They all decided to level some stats, upgrade their gear and after some rearranging, IE Sora and Riku equipping rings that'd reduce the fire damage, not as good as Kairi's but enough to avoid dying instantly.

Kairi: 'OOOOOHHHH…I've enough faith to join the sun bros!'.

Sora: 'PRAISE THE SUN!'.

Kairi: '…do they have fire spells?'.

Sora: 'No?'.

Kairi: '…'.

She reallocated her points to more INT, more spell uses and slots. Plus, now she even had more spells to use and abuse~.

With their preparation completed, they proceeded onwards. They walked on another wooden pathway over the lava, with Sora in front and Riku in the back. The entire bridge wooden path was thin, and below was nothing but lava and fire, which begs the question how the flying heck anything wooden was still usable.

They finally arrived to Lost Izalith after passing through a broken hole in the wall, nothing but ruins, lava and roots…that somehow survived lava. The pathway became more narrower and even easier to fall off, but thanks to patience (IE fear of death), they managed to make their way safely. They came to a corner to look around for the next passage…until Kairi pointed at something.

Kairi: 'Guys, what are those!?'.

The boys looked to see several massive T-Rex size and shaped monsters standing in the sea of lave, docile for now.

Sora: 'DINOSAURS!? FREAKING FIRE DINOSAURS!?'.

Kairi: '…oh my god that sounds so cool'.

Riku: '…so what are the chances we have to run that way?'.

With seemingly no other pathways to use, they all came to the very sad conclusion that they would indeed have to traverse the sea of lava, with the giant dinosaur looking monsters, just to reach the small island of a tower.

Kairi: '…best of luck guys!'.

With reckless abandonment, they all ran across the lava, some screamed, some swore, and Kairi laughed at the change of the tormented pacing. Granted Riku did unfortunately die at some point of the run while Sora just barely had enough health to reach the island. So the first death of this session went to Riku (surprise surprise).

Kairi: 'We'll wait Riku!'.

Riku: '…*sigh*'.

One wait later…

While they waited Sora and Kairi explored the island, found a treasure chest (after Kairi threw several fire balls at it out of caution), and after going around the tower, they found another wooden pathway for them to explore. But then another fire spewing statue that lasted five seconds against Sora's sword, which is great…until he accidentally aggravated the dinosaur.

They both turned slowly at the giant monster as it ran to them, and they screamed in terror. Upon looking it turns out these dinosaur looking creatures were the lower halves of the dragons…not that it made them any less terrifying.

The two ran away from the beast and into the tower, which thankfully meant the beast could not enter. Kairi then pummelled it with fire balls until it died.

Kairi: 'BAD BUTT MONSTER!'.

Sora: 'Fire Dinosaurs was cooler!'.

Once it was slain viciously, Riku finally re-joined the two after getting a surprising amount of souls from his friend's murderous activities. Therefore, once the monster was removed and their troubles lessened, they continued their path. Sadly, upon proper inspection they see the wooden spiral pathway would just take them to a tower with no other pathway, so they agreed to just sprint across the lava floor and reach the other tower.

Luckily nobody died this time, but another dragon bottom was aggravated again and attacked. This time with Riku and Sora attacking it together, they managed to slay it easily and faster than Kairi's attacks. And too add sugar to their ice cream of happiness, Kairi discovered an illusionary wall and behind it was another bonfire. They lit it, and from a distance Kairi spotted another pathway that likely would lead them further into the city.

Though just to be safe, Kairi went first and just ran for it. Arriving, she told them it was the go-to spot. So, her boys chased after her but one of the dragon bottoms began to chase them. Sadly, while Sora managed make it by the skin of his teeth. Riku…not so much. The combined attack from the monster and the lava ultimately did him in once again.

Riku: 'GOD!'.

**You Died.**

Sora: '…waiting…'.

After waiting for Riku, the trio continued onwards…after they murdered the dragon butt monster. Climbing up the root and into the city section, the ran down the remaining roots and fought some more of the fire spewing statues. Some explorations, a few kills and item looting, they eventually fell down a ledge and into a larger part of the city.

Up the stairs, they spotted a large grotesque looking beast. With several tendrils, eyes all around its cylinder body.

Kairi: 'That looks so nasty!'.

Riku: 'And its coming for us!'.

Sora ran in first and performed a few slashes at the beast, before he let out a yell of shock.

Sora: 'HOLY CRAP THAT THING HAS A LOT OF TEETH!'.

Upon getting closer to the monster to help, the other two shrieked in terror as well.

Riku: 'It's like a sarlaac pit grew legs!'.

Kairi: 'I WILL NOT BE NOM NOMED!'.

Kairi roasted the monster with all the fiery rage she possessed, turning it into ashes and dust. After that, the climbed up the stairs and explored more of the lost and tragic befallen city, eyes wide for any more of those monstrous toothy freaks.

Just as they came to an intersection with two directions to choose from, they decided to go higher up and climbed a set of stairs. Yet before them was a woman dressed in very similar robes to the previous pyro mentor Kairi had back in Blighttown.

Sora: 'Hey guys? Is that the lady who taught Kairi fire magic?'.

Riku: 'Hey yeah…is it?'.

Kairi: 'I dunno…but why is she running at us?'.

The sister of chaos then threw a large fire ball at them, hitting them all and dealing great damage to the boys but minimal to the red head pyromancer. The boys cursed her but Kairi smirked evilly.

Kairi: 'There's only room for one pyromancer, and I DO not share power!'.

Sora: 'Pyromancy Death Battle!'.

So forth the sister threw fire at Kairi but because of her immunity all she did was knock her back or stagger her to be pelted with more fire. Kairi however managed to blast her with even more powerful fire spells, roasting her and drain her hit points. Eventually Kairi erected the pillars of fire and defeated the sister, consuming her souls and obtaining her staff.

This victory, was short lived.

Dark spirit Knight Kirk has invaded!

Riku: 'Mother fucker, this guy again!?'.

Sora: 'We've got this guy! We've beaten him once!'.

Kirk appeared a few steps from them all, and just as they were ready to strike him, Kairi ran in and smashed Kirk with her maul. She proceeded to utterly pummel him into paste until he was no more.

Kairi: 'Stay dead!'.

Riku/Sora: O.O.

Once that…slaughter, was done, they press onwards, ignoring the fog wall for now as they wanted to see more of this city before agreeing to never ever come back to this literal hellfire of a place. They slew another sarlaac pit monster guarding a chest, and after a few pokes this time as opposed to tossing balls of fire like an paranoid arsonist, they opened it. To Kairi's delight, it was a new pyromancy spell known as Chaos Fire Whip.

Kairi: '…yes~'.

Riku: '…I'm so sorry for you Sora'.

Sora: 'Wait what?'.

Onwards they went, coming to a bridge…but with a titanite demon before them.

Kairi/Sora/Riku: O.O.

Kairi: 'On second thought…lets go fight the boss'.

Riku: 'Sure!'.

Sora: 'YES PLEASE!'.

Arriving to the fog wall, prepped and ready for the battle ahead, they passed through it. They were then sliding down a slope, too their surprise. And apparently their characters are so done with all the s*** they've endured, that Sora's character didn't even react to smacking face first into a few branches and smashed through them like they were just pesky leaves.

Clearly it wasn't just the humans that were sick off the crap DS was putting them through.

They fell into the arena where before them was the boss, known as the Bed of Chaos.

A giant tree like nest with several long root fingers, fire spheres on the right and left.

Riku: 'Ok, so how do we beat-

They were all suddenly slapped by the huge tree like finger nails.

Kairi: 'Get your nails cut tree lady!'.

They started to dodge and evade the roots, but then sections of the floor began to collapse and fall below them. Before they could do anything else or formulate a plan or strategy, they were was slapped by the tree fingers and each of them fell into the holes.

Kairi: 'WHAT!?'.

Sora: 'What is this bull crap!?'.

**You Died.**

Attempt 2

Once they reached the fight, this time they stayed far away from where the hole once appeared from, deciding the boys would run to the sides where the large spheres were while Kairi tried to run in the centre and throw fire balls. But unfortunately her attacks did practically nothing, plus most her attacks missed it.

And wouldn't ya know, the floor beneath her shattered and she fell to her demise.

Kairi: 'Son of a goat!'.

**You Died.**

Riku raced to the right, rolling and leaping over the long tree fingers, but like Kairi his pathway broke apart and he fell to his own death.

**You Died.**

Riku: 'WHAT THE FUCK!?'.

So this left only Sora to attempt to figure out how this bull-crap boss worked, by slowly approaching his target. Like Riku, his own path crumbled away but he was thankfully nowhere near it…but then he was slapped by the tree fingers again and knocked into the pit.

Sora: 'OH COME ONNNNNN!'.

**You Died.**

Attempt 3

Kairi: 'This is freaking ridiculous! No matter where you go that tree bitch can slap you and because there's more pitfalls than Super Pitfall, we literally have no ground to stand on!'.

Riku: 'Not to mention we have no freaking clue how to hurt it!'.

Sora: 'Maybe…if we try reaching those spheres? Maybe that'll help?'.

Kairi: 'Don't have much of an option…ok…we'll have to try that'.

A new plan in mind, they returned to the arena, re-acquired their lost souls and attempted their new game plan. Riku and Kairi went to the left this time while Sora raced to the left. Thankfully the trio managed to evade the holes and bull-crap finger swipes, just as the two finally reached the first glowing sphere of bull.

Yet they couldn't do anything as every swing Riku performed, he kept hitting the branches, and Kairi fared no better with her fire balls.

Riku: 'What the hell!? Why can't we hit it!?'.

Kairi: 'MOTHER NATURE IS IMMUNE TO MY FIRE! NOOOOOO!'.

Luckily, after some mindless hacks and slashes, Riku finally struck the core of the barrier and killed it. One of the anchors that were apparently protecting the main core of the boss. You'd think this would be great for them…until a new tendril embedded in flames from the main core of the body.

Kairi: '…well this is bull shite…'.

Her words carried weight in fact, as they ran back, the demon boss then slammed its new burning limb upon them, dealing both physical damage and fire damage at once. Now granted Kairi wasn't harmed by the flames, but the physical almost killed her in one strike. Riku…wasn't so lucky.

Riku: 'ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?'.

**You Died.**

Kairi: 'Ok, I'm good! Sora how you doing?'.

Sora: ' I HATE THIS BOSS!'.

Sora managed to reach the next core and like Riku, he hacked and slashed his way to it. One final strike brought the core down and gave them passage to the main core of the boss.

Sora: 'YES! FINALLY!'.

Sora and Kairi attempted to meet up but were like previously, swept aside and into the pits.

Sora: 'AGRHHHHH!'.

Kairi: 'YOU TREE HUMPER!'.

**You Died.**

Attempt 4

Riku: 'Jesus Christ…'.

Kairi: 'This boss is plain all bullshit! Its not hard or tricky, its just spamming those bullshit long finger attacks!'.

Sora was oddly silent through out the whole thing, which wasn't a bad thing as it allowed the two friends to vent. But at least now they had a chance to finally end this boss and just call it a night.

Thus once they reached the arena, they all rushed in to charge at the boss, but the floor before them collapsed, which luckily the boss stopped running but Kairi's character stopped too short and she skidded off the edge and once more joined her past life corpses.

Kairi: '….FUDGE!'.

**You Died.**

Sora and Riku looked below to see one root below them, and together they both ran and leapt. They successfully landed on the root…well Sora landed and rolled upwards on the root. Riku, unfortunately, rolled off the edge of the root.

Riku: 'GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'.

**You Died.**

Sora ran up the root pathway and came to a tunnel where ahead he could see the final core of the boss. In his way though were plenty of roots sticking out. Sora began to hack away these obstructing objects, but below him he suddenly sees pillars of fire rise, but before he could move, they shot up. And one shot him despite him being at full health.

Sora: '…WHAT!?'.

**You Died.**

Kairi: 'What the absolute fudge!? You were one shot!?'.

Riku: 'BULLSHIT! NOW IT'S GOT ONE SHOT ATTACKS WHEN WE'RE LITERALLY A STEP AWAY FROM KILLING IT!?'.

Sora: *Growling angrily and clutching his controller tightly*.

Attempt 5

The trio ran in recklessly, forgoing strategy and just rush in, stab the tree core bitch and just ending this nightmarish bulls*** filled boss battle. Unfortunately, while that would ordinarily work, because of the small space of the root below them, they all unfortunately either rolled off the edge, or worse bumped into each other and caused the other to be bounced off and fall to their deaths.

**You Died.**

Riku: '…ok well to be fair, that was on us…'.

Kairi: 'yeaahhh…probably should've waited to take turns…'.

Sora: '…'.

Noticing the silence from the boy, the two got worried.

Kairi: 'Sora?'.

Riku: 'You ok man?'.

Sora: *Softly* 'I lost all my souls'.

Kairi: 'Ooh…ohh Sora, I'm so sorry'.

Riku: 'Aww shit man, how many did you lose?'.

Sora: '…one hundred thousand…'.

Riku: 'Ohh…shit man…'.

Sora: 'All because…this boss…this "boss"…is…absolutely…BULLSHIT!'.

The two jumped in surprise by the bout of rage.

Sora: 'THIS ISN'T EVEN A FUCKING BOSS! IT'S A CHEAP ENEMY THAT USES BULLSHIT TACTICS! IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO BEAT IT THEN ALL YOU'LL DO IS DIE, DIE AND DIE ALL THE FUCKING TIME UNTIL FINALLY YA FIGURE OUT YOU NEED TO RUN ALLLLLLLLL THE FUCKING WAY TO THE RIGHT AND LEFT, DODGE THE BULLSHIT LONG RANGE SHITTING ATTACKS AND FUCKING HACK AND SLASH UNTIL BY SOME KINGDOM HEART SHITTING MIRACLE YOU HIT IT!

Kairi and Riku were both terrified and amazed by how analytical review of the monster and how brutally savage Sora was tearing into the boss.

Sora: 'AND JUST TO ADD AN ENTIRE BUCKET OF SALT ON YOUR TORN OPEN EXPOSED HEART! YOU HAVE TO USE THE HORRIBLE JUMPING MECHANICS TO LAND ON A SMALL PIECE OF ROOT! OH BY THE WAY, HOPE YA DON'T ROLL OFF AND DIE! AND THEN! OHHHHH THEN! YOU NEED TO HACK YOUR WAY THROUGH AS FAST AS POSSIBLE OTHERWISE YOU'LL BE KILLED IN ONE HIT! ONE! FUCKING! HIT!'.

Kairi: 0.0.

Riku: O.O.

Attempt 6

They re-entered the arena…but something was different about Sora's character…

He was…in his Rage-Form...

Kairi: '…RIKU…'.

Riku: 'YEAH I SEE HIM KAIRI!'.

Sora rushed in, running like a wild animal on all fours and leapt onto the root below. He raced up and entered the tunnel of bull, tore his way through everything until he came to the small insect. With all the inhuman rage put into a roar that likely the dead could hear, he…well lets just say he wasn't delicate with his visceral annihilation.

**Victory Achieved.**

Kairi: '…S-Sora, you ok?'.

Sora: *Hisses*

Kairi: '…that a no?'.

Riku: 'I…think we should call it a night…'.

Kairi: 'Y-Yeah…ummm Sora, do you wanna…stay overnight?'.

Sora: 'I'm already here…'.

Kairi: '…wait what?'.

Kairi turned around in her seat to see Anti-Sora on her bed, ready to pounce on her.

Kairi: '…Riku I'm gonna go now and calm down the angry kitty…'.

Riku: 'Best of luck…'.


	17. Chapter 17

Let's Play Dark Souls!

Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?

Chapter 17

The Archives of Misery

'AQUA! HELP!'.

'ASSIST!'.

'SAVE ME!'.

'SORA GONE RAGEY RAGE!'.

This was the second time in her life Aqua had ran so fast she appeared to be a blur to everyone and everything. The blue head wielder of the keyblade had arrived to Kairi's place in record time and all but kicked the door open to run inside and keep her first (and only) apprentice alive.

Inside Kairi's room, she spotted Sora in his Rage-Form on all fours, pinned below him as Kairi. She had a look of terror and amusement as she looked at the master. She mouthed "HELP" to her and Aqua took a deep breath and used the magic pocket dimension they used for everything.

And summoned…a spray bottle.

Aqua: 'No! BAD SORA!'.

Immediately when she sprayed at him, Rage-Sora hissed and leapt off Kairi and impressively balanced on her wardrobe, hissing at the bottle of water.

Aqua: 'NO! Bad! Turn back to Sora right now Mr!'.

Kairi's fears vanished in a nano-second, laughter taking place instead. It was such a strange phenomenon they discovered about Sora's Rage form, that it has so many catlike traits to it. Aqua sprayed it again at him, making him shrink with another hiss, making himself smaller and less dark with every spray.

Kairi: 'How long will he stay like this?'.

Aqua: 'Depends, what exactly transpired to cause him to turn into this?'.

Kairi: 'Well…we fought the Bed of Chaos…'.

Aqua: 'Say no more…I understand'.

Luckily Sora did indeed return back to his normal state after three more sprays of evil water, and promptly fell off the wardrobe and onto Kairi's bed room floor.

Sora: 'Ow…'.

Aqua then handed Kairi the bottle and bid the two a good day after leaving some tips on dealing with rage induced boys.

Kairi: 'See you later Aqua, hope you got your game console fixed!'.

Aqua, her back turned to them, paled visibly and tensed up.

Aqua: 'Ah ha…y-yeah…soon…'.

Once she left, Sora looked around in confusion, not recalling how he ended up in Kairi's room…nor did he like that smirk on her face…

NEXT SESSION OF RAGE

Sora: 'Ok so after that…what's left?'.

Kairi: 'All that remains is Seath the Scaleless, and then we finally take the last gruelling fight to Gwyn'.

Riku: 'AND BE DONE WITH THIS GAME!'.

Before they would return to the Shrine though the trio decided to do one quick exploration of the dungeon in the hopes of finding some items and gear, with chances of making up Sora's lost souls from the boss. Begrudgingly, Kairi informed them the titanite demon would very likely drop a lot of souls with a potential item that could help upgrade their weapons in the later portion of the game.

Therefore once they came to the bridge with the monster guarding it, there was great apprehension for them until Kairi pointed out that they were significantly stronger than last time they fought this kind of enemy.

Kairi: 'We'll be fine this time!'.

Sora: 'Can't help but feel like levelling up isn't really a big game changer for this…we're still getting our butts kicked…'.

Riku: 'Or dying, can't forget that!'.

Kairi: 'Umm guys…'.

Riku was then smacked aside by the demon's rod-spear thing, knocking him off the bridge and through the arch, which led him to is death.

Riku: '…. FUCK!'.

**You Died.**

Kairi: '…ya know Sora you may be right about that last part…'.

Sora: 'SHIELD UP!'.

The titanite demon stuck his shield, pushing him back a smidge but did minimal damage also. Kairi kept up her distance and tossed balls of fire at it, dealing greater damage than she did in the first bout. Sora was the focus of the demon, as it seemed intent to strike him down and despite the lack of space for the boy and many chances of him falling into the lava, he kept his ground.

Kairi got closer to the demon to perform the fire whip and smacked, slapped and slashed at the demon with burning fury. Unfortunately, its tail slapped Kairi and the knock-back was good enough to literally put her on the edge. Kairi let out a shriek as she button smashed the dodge button to get away from the edge and demon, followed by singing a chorus of "NONONONONONONONONO".

Sora however took this chance to strike back the demon, hitting it twice before he himself was knocked back by one of the swings of its rod. At a fair distance from the demon, Sora saw its health was rather low, enough for just one strike to finally free them of this horrible thing. He changed his equipment to two-handing the sword and then, he performed the two-hand shockwave the weapon possessed.

The attack raced across the field and struck the demon head on, killing it. A large bounty of souls, some ore for their weapons, and the path was cleared.

Kairi looked at Sora's weapon and him, narrowed eyes.

Kairi: 'Sora'.

Sora: 'Yeah?'.

Kairi: 'When were you able to do that?'.

Sora: 'Uh…since I got it?'.

Kairi: '…SO WHY DIDN'T YOU USE IT!?'.

Sora: 'I FORGOT!'.

Kairi: 'SOOOOO MANY DEATHS COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED! THOSE ARCHERS BACK IN ANOR LONDO WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN AN ISSUE IF YOU CAN SHOCKWAVE THEM TO DEATH!'.

Sora: 'Even Riku's amount of deaths?'.

Kairi: '…shut up'.

Riku: 'I hate you both…'.

After Riku returned to them, they continued forward with their exploration. They climbed down a flight of stairs after coming to the end of the bridge. They spotted a crystal lizard and immediately "murder" was their next course of action. The little creature managed to skitter far enough down another but smaller flight of stairs. There ahead were more skittish yet harmless creepy crawly creatures.

Kairi: 'My "I need to burn you all" senses are tingling…'.

Riku: 'Yeah with good reason…'.

Sora: 'HEY! Solaire!'.

Ahead of them was indeed the legendary sunbro, but instead of sitting down in despair or standing up and looking to the ceiling…

He ran at them all with one of those creatures latched upon his head, and he started to attack Sora and co.

Sora: 'SOLAIRE!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?'.

Riku: 'He's gone crazy! KILL HIM WITH SHARP THINGS!'.

Kairi: 'AND FIRE!'.

Sora: 'B-But, he's my sunbro! We're brothers Solaire! We've Praised The Sun so many times!'.

Riku: 'THREE TIMES ISN'T A LOT!'.

Sora: 'IT IS FOR ME!'.

Sora practically blocked all Solaire's attacks, not even thinking of attacking him or retaliating, Riku was the one doing all damaging while Kairi was merely burning the creepy crawlies, not even taking a chance of them latching onto her head and eating her brain.

Riku: 'Solaire, will you stop-

Solaire blasted Riku with some lightning and blasted him away a few steps.

Riku: 'I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU!'.

Sora saw his friend wounded and seeing Kairi trying to fend off the monsters, Sora looked to Solaire with defeat. He raised is sword and with using the shockwave first, knocking his fellow sunbro on his back, he rushed in.

Sora: 'I'M SORRY!'.

Sora slashed Solaire and with two extra hits, the greatest hero of Lordran had fallen. He gasped softly, lamenting that his sun has finally set like his life. And he vanished into nothing, leaving his sword and shield behind.

Sora: *Whimpers*

Kairi: 'Aww Sora…it had to be done…'.

Riku: '…'.

Sora: *Saluting* 'Rest in Peace, sunbro'.

One Mourn later…

Firelink Shrine

The trio used what souls they accumulated, upgraded their gear after changing them into more suitable and better equipment.

Sora: Iron Golem set with Drake sword and Havel's shield.

Riku: Artorias armour set with his black knight great sword.

Kairi: Witch Set wielding her fire hand, and katana.

They mostly levelled up their equipment as they were under level and felt a change of gear for themselves. Again, Kairi refused to increase her vitality, and none of the boys commented. Well admittedly Sora never cared but Riku…well he would but then Kairi would, with snarky that would make Larxene proud, reply with the amount of deaths between the two.

His pride was beaten bad enough already…

Riku: 'Ok so, where's this Seath?'.

Kairi: 'Hey guys, ya know we don't HAVE to go through with this!'.

Sora: 'We don't?'.

Kairi: 'Y-Yes! I mean why should we? I mean, we're not here to prove anything to the game, right?'.

Sora: 'I…guess?'.

Kairi: 'So I think after all we've been through, the bull crud, the rage, the jerk invaders, I'd say we've proven we're awesome and should consider this our ending!'.

Sora: '…Kai, that sounds like a HUGE copout'.

Kairi: 'WHA-WHAT!? No! Its…its…uh…'.

Riku: 'She's trying to get out of this because, take a wild guess where we have to go?'.

Sora: '…Anor Londo?'.

Riku: 'Anor Fing Londo'.

Sora let out a loud groan of frustration, already knowing how horrible this trip is going to be, while Kairi was being extremely quiet on her end. Riku had completely called her out.

Riku: 'Kai-

Kairi: 'I. AM. NOT. GOING. BACK!'.

Riku: 'Oh come on!'.

Kairi: 'Nope, call me a wuss or whatever helps you sleep at night! I've had enough of invasions! I've had enough of bull crap enemies! AND dying!'.

Riku: 'WE JUST HAVE ONE DAMN DUNGEON BEFORE ENDING THIS NIGHTMARE OF A GAME! ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO WUSS OUT NOW!?'.

Kairi: 'If it means I won't end up losing my voice or getting grey hair, then yes!'.

Riku let out a frustrated groan, swearing quietly and calling her something on the lines of a "bratty cry baby". Sora though, he sighed. As much as he was sick of this game, he didn't exactly wanna copout either.

Sora: 'Kairi. Please? Just finish this and get it over with?'.

Kairi: '…'.

Sora: *Takes a selfie and sends it to her*

Kairi: *Looks a phone and immediately her stubborn refusal died* '…that's freaking cheating Sora…'.

Sora: *puppy whimper*

Kairi: 'AAHHHHH! FINE! J-JUST STOP!'.

Riku: '… Puppy Sora?'.

Sora: 'Puppy Sora'.

Anor Londo

Using the bonfire to respawn, the trio exited the room and after Kairi used the wiki, they headed to the left into another building. Ahead were two giant stone warriors, but no path ahead so they wisely decided to head to where they path would take them to their destination. There was one giant but thanks to Riku's maxed out sword, it was brought down in two hits. They ran up a staircase and up into the hillside, where the building where Seath lied in waited for them.

Straight ahead was a single corridor with a familiar beast lied ahead of them, the armoured boar. Sora decided he'd be the front line of defence, and with his giant shield up, he ran in. The boar, much like the first one awhile back, charged at him. Luckily the shield and poise Sora carried was more than enough for the knight to hold his ground. During the charge, Riku managed to run past it and back stabbed the wild armoured animal.

One stab and the beast was no more…until they reached the end of the corridors and encountered another armoured boar. Rinse and repeat, Sora guarded, Riku stabbed, all's well.

They came to an open room where a bonfire waited for them to light it.

Sora: 'So far so good'.

Riku: 'I'm guessing its just until we get here, things get to bullshit hard'.

Kairi: 'Piggy's souls are surprisingly insufficient'.

Riku: 'They're pigs, what did you expect?'.

They hopped on the elevator and rode up, finding another open area where there were three new enemies. Ghoul like creatures but with large chunks of crystal sticking out of them, two carrying a sword shield and one in the back using a bow. Sora dealt with the first two while Kairi used her giant bow and sniped the archer ahead, taking them down with a headshot…well if there was any head left…

Riku ran ahead up the stairs to another height of the room, was attacked by sneaking enemies that hide in the area. Granted they took a decent amount of health from him, but he managed to bring them down in one hit each, squishy enemies it seems for him…until he was blasted by magic. Just ahead of them in the next room was another of those mage-like priests that bothered them on their route to the first bell.

Riku: 'God damn it! Those freaking magic spamming priests are back!'.

Kairi: 'They shall submit to my superior pyromancy!'.

Riku, before he ran in, is then attacked by ANOTHER crystal ghoul that rushed him. Another chunk of health taken and Riku swore and smashed his assaulter into mush. He was forced to guzzle down a healing potion, only to be literally "bitch slapped" by a crystal golem.

Riku: 'WHERE'D YOU COME FROM!?'.

Sora: 'What? Who-HOLY CRAP HE'S A BIG BOY!'.

Riku rolled and dodged the golem's slow attacks but the mage fired another blast of magic and hits Riku. Once the ghouls were dealt, Sora and Kairi ran into help their struggling friend.

Kairi: 'I'll deal with the magic spammer with bow of compensation!'.

However the girl seemed to forget the crystal golem, and before she fired her arrow the giant smacked her and knocked her on her back, taking almost all her health.

Kairi: 'HOLY CRAP MY HEALTH!'.

Riku: 'HEAL HEAL HEAL HEAL!'.

Sora: 'I'll deal with bullying golem!'.

With the golem was focusing on the scampering Kairi, Sora and Riku hacked away at it's back, Sora damaging it enough for Riku to one shot the crystal tank. With it dead, Kairi took up position and sniped the mage, again hitting the head and one-shot the spammer. With the two immediate threats dealt with, they entered the next room that looked like a library with several large shelves of books and of course more of the crystal ghouls.

Not much of threats as they appeared, the ghouls were easily dealt with thanks to Kairi sniping the farther away ones while the boys slew the closest enemies, then climbed up the stairs to the second floor of the library. More ghouls were slaughtered, treasure chests containing a few items like titanite related stuff, and one chest that Sora immediately knew was off. He and Riku nodded and together performed their heavy attacks and once, the mimic was no more.

Kairi: 'H-How did you know it was a trap!?'.

Sora: 'The chain. Its normally curved, that's straight'.

Kairi: '…where is the hug gesture!?'.

Another elevator ride upwards, they came to a floor which was tainted by murky crystal splattered all over the walls, floors and ceiling. A narrow corridor was the only passage for them, so like always they sent the tank in front while keeping the squishy pyromancer in the back.

Sure enough they were rushed attacked by a new enemy. A human looking that, like the ghouls, had large crystal chunks sticking out from its body. Thankfully it faired only a smidgen better than the ghouls, for it took more beatings from Sora than the ghouls.

Onwards they went, found another crystal lizard, murdered the absolute hell out of it, and proceeded. The higher they climbed the tower however, more of the passage was being coated by crystals, until they were in a corridor of crystal together. Whatever was ahead of them, they feared the next boss wasn't too far ahead.

Like being able to predict Axel's next move in poker, there was a door with a fog wall.

Riku: 'Okay, we ready for this?'.

Kairi: 'No'.

Sora: 'Nope'.

Riku: '…great motivation guys…'.

They passed through the fog wall, and before them was the albino dragon, Seath the Scaleless. The dragon roared at them, firing a beam. The beam trailed along the ground and upwards, suddenly a wave of crystal walls shot up and smacked them all.

Kairi: 'THAT'S A LOT OF PAIN!'.

Riku ran at Seath, but the dragon was too far from Riku, blocked off by his barricade of crystals. Sora was no better, out of range.

Sora: 'HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BEAT HIM IF WE CAN'T EVEN GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO STAB AND SLASH!?'.

Kairi: 'WITH PYROMANCY!'.

Kairi tossed a ball of fire, but she couldn't lock on to the dragon and ended up hitting nothing but the ground. She swore quietly and decided to use a normal bow and arrow this time for mobility. After the crystal walls collapsed, Kairi fired an arrow that did apparently thirty nine damage…but his health didn't go down.

Kairi: '…what?'.

She fired three more, but nothing changed. The dragon's health hadn't even lower to a chip, heck not even a pixel hadn't moved.

Riku: 'Why isn't Kairi's arrows hurting him!?'.

Kairi: 'I am hitting him right!? I'm not going loony right!?'.

Even Sora took his bow out and fired at the dragon, but nothing changed.

Then Seath unleashed a blast the erected crystal pillars from the ground, completely covering the entire area with damaging obstacles. The party were smacked and harmed by the endless stream of crystal, and just when they thought when the crystals broke they could heal, Seath repeated the exact same attack and presto, they all perished.

**You Died.**

They all stared at their respective screens, jaws hanged down in dismay.

Kairi: 'W-We can't hurt him…'.

Sora: 'He's immortal…?'.

Riku: 'You mean…we can't kill this boss…?'.

They respawned not at the bonfire they last used, but instead in a prison cell. Now they were prisoners, to the immortal dragon.

Riku: *Slowly puts his controller down, takes a deep breath…* '…..FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!'.

A/N:

So now they're closer to the end, and now must figure out how to deal with the Scaleless dragon and his immortality! Can they figure it out before they all have a mental breakdown?

Thanks for reading, credit to Apprentice to Fantasy for the Solaire suggestion, and their constant support! Stay safe, but more importantly stay safe!


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